Disclaimer: idea's that Rowling girl's.
And since this chapter has a song u should be aware that I am musically inept… so yeah not mine (it's "Do You Want To" by Franz Ferdinand from the album: you could have it so much better)
--
The one that he pushed away
--
Summary: she had loved him, but he broke her heart so many times that it dissipated to a point that all she felt when it came to him was pain. He hurt her so many times and she finally got up the courage to leave him… but she did so with something of his.
--
Chapter IXX: what do you think?
--
before you read this please be forewarned that there are slightly graphic scenes (not even in my opinions, but for all I know someone might be offended by it… though that'd be odd considering how many curses there are in this fic… and rambling, I'll just stop now and continue with the fic)
--
previously:
He suddenly began laughing, "I can't believe it, you're jealous!"
"I am not!"
"Yes, you are."
"Well if I am then you are too!"
He closed the distance between the two of them huskily whispering to her "how'd you guess?" Then he grabbed her and kissed her.
--
When I woke up tonight
I said I'm gonna make somebody love me
I'm Gonna make somebody love me
And now I know, now I know, now I know
I know that it's you
You're Lucky, lucky, you're so lucky
Well do ya, do ya, do ya wanna
Well do ya, do ya, do ya wanna
Wanna go of what I never let you before
--
"We shouldn't be doing this," she whispered against his lips.
"Yeah, sure," he told her offhandedly, humoring her as he pushed her up against the wall. She took her legs and wrapped them around his waist causing him to groan from the pleasure the pressure created. He slowly carried her up the stairs, never breaking contact from her, thankful for the fact that he knew his house like the back of his hand. He put her down as he opened the door, pushing her onto the bed, both shedding clothing.
--
Monday morning
Fuck! It wasn't just a dream, oh fuckety fuck, fuck-fuck! I'm screwed, literally, oh damn it! She thought to herself, panicking on the inside as soon as she woke up and took in the picture of a naked her lying in bed with James. Bloody fucking hell, why am I so horny?!
Okay Lily, calm down, stay calm. You can do this Lily, you can do anything you set your mind to… okay, I can't keep on lying to myself, that's total bull shit! How the hell did I get into this mess?
She slowly untangled herself from James placing one leg on the floor before quickly pushing herself off the bed.
Is he awake?
No.
Yes, score! I officially rock, with that thought she quickly made her way out the room, talking care to not make any noise as she exited.
--
Aurors' department
8.10 a.m.
"Hey," Remus greeted her as he barged into her office.
"Good morning and thank you for knocking."
"Very funny, you're a regular comedian aren't you? Anyway, listen, I just wanted to tell you that I'm sorry."
"Sorry? Why?"
"Well, last night was a total disaster and I just wanted to apologize for all of that."
"Oh don't worry about it; I actually kind of enjoyed it."
"You did?" he skeptically asked her.
"Well yeah, I mean the food was great, and then you and I have always loved mocking people."
"Okay, what's up? Is this some kind of a joke? Last night you could barely wait to leave, what's with the sudden change of opinion?"
"Nothing, why dwell on it, right? Let's just move on."
"Something's going on with you Evans and trust me, I will get to the bottom of it," he promised her before leaving her office.
"God I hope not," she muttered to herself as she slammed her head onto the desk with a frustrated groan.
--
Marauders' residence
8:15 a.m.
He slowly opened his eyes, trying to adjust to the bright light of the sun. "Lily?" he called out once he noticed that his companion was no longer in bed. "Lily, where are you?"
When no answer came James automatically knew what had happened.
--
Aurors' department
11:30 a.m.
She opened the door only to find James standing outside her door, leaning on the frame, smirking at her.
"What are you doing here James?" she asked him, quickly despising that smirk more and more by the second.
"You didn't really think that you could avoid me and pretend that nothing happened, did you? Lily we s-"
"Shut up, not here," she interrupted him as she quickly pulled him into her office for more privacy.
"Lily, why did you leave this morning?"
"I had work," she told him in a clipped tone as she tried to avoid looking at him by busying herself with looking for the Echolls file that she'd need for a meeting the next day, sadly for her it was a feeble and useless attempt.
"Bull shit Lily, you were scared," he yelled at her, aggravated by the fact that she could be so unaffected by what had occurred.
"Of course I was," she cried out, shocking them both by the sudden outburst. "I cheated on Riley James. He deserves so much better then that. Worse though is that I made myself vulnerable by being with you again. I just- I can't do that James."
"Why not? I love you Lily."
"You don't get it, do you? I can't be with you. I just CAN'T!"
"So what are you going to do? Stay with Riley?"
"I love him James."
"No you don't," he told her, slowly advancing towards her.
"Yes I do," she quietly argued, her resistance waning.
"Then not as much as you do me," he grabbed her and kissed her passionately. However, it was Lily that surprised them both when she pushed him off of her.
"No James. You had your chance with me, I won't let anyone break my heart like that ever again and I won't do that to Riley. I know how it feels, I went through hell and back after that James, never put me in that position again James."
"Lily-"
"Leave James."
"Lils," he softly caressed her arm.
She slapped his hand away, "I told you to leave!"
"Fine, but it's not over Lils," he told her as he slammed the door on his way out of the office.
Lily fell to the ground, shaking with tears, "I need it to be so I can finally be in love with someone again, you jackass," she cried as she slammed her fist against the wall.
--
Aurors' department
4.30 p.m.
She was working when she saw an owl tapping on her window. "Hey fish," she greeted the animal as she took the letter from its extended leg.
Hey love,
Just wanted to tell you that I'm back from Paris and was hoping that you could meet me at that park we went to a few days ago (by the Peter Pan statue that you loved so much) at eight. I have something important to ask you
Yours,
Riley.
p.s. go casual if you can come (don't worry about having to go home and change or anything)
--
"I have to tell you something and you have to promise not to tell anyone," James told Sirius as the two were leaving the pitch after practice.
"Sure, what is it?"
"Lily and I shagged last night."
"Wait- what?!" Sirius stopped dead in his tracks, the picture of befuddlement.
"Lily and I were arguing- and I don't know… I guess it just happened."
"But what about Riley?"
"She's staying with him."
"What do you think about it?"
"Riley's a great guy, I can't deny it, he's one of the nicest people I've ever met, which is going to make me feel a lot guiltier when I get her back."
--
author's note: so my beta was unable to look at this because of some sort miscommunication so I apologize for the errors there may be (I tried, I really did, but it's hard when u no the chapter by heart so you easily overlook them)
and tiffany if you are out there, you sent me the wrong e-mail (it doesn't work)
-->