Disclaimer: idea's that Rowling girl's.
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The one that he pushed away
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Summary: she had loved him, but he broke her heart so many times that it dissipated to a point that all she felt when it came to him was pain. He hurt her so many times and she finally got up the courage to leave him… but she did so with something of his.
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Chapter XXI: growing up
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Lils,
I love you, I always have and I think that I always will, but I think- I think that the great thing about our relationship is that we are mates above all else, and I think I can change it so it's more brotherly (just give me some time, I promise that I'll write you, I just need some time to get over you). I mean, I get it, I get why you ended it, you wouldn't do it unless you really believed that we were for one another, you always were the smart one, so here I am following you lead.
Forever yours (as just a brother, I promise)
Riley.
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Marauders' residence
8 a.m.
"Hey," she greeted the boys as she walked into the kitchen with Harry on her hip.
"Where's Riley? I saw his room and it's totally cleaned out," Remus asked.
"He and I broke up last night."
At that statement a loud crash was heard. They all turned to see that James had dropped his mug onto the floor. "Um… it was really hot," he told them in a feeble attempt to cover the true impact that her statement had had on him before doing a quick incantation to clean up the mess.
"So why did you two break up?" Sirius asked, rolling his eyes at his friend's clumsiness and lack of originality as far as excuses were concerned.
Lily stood there for a minute, unsure as to what she should say in response to that question. Weighing her options, it was private, and it was still an open wound that hurt at the mere thought of it. Then again, Sirius was always the one that could heal her pain when they were kids.
"He offered to move to be with me."
At that statement Remus spit out the coffee that he had been drinking.
"Oy, why does this always happen with us?!" Sirius exclaimed as he became the victim of the hot liquid blast. "I love you Remus. I proved that to you last night numerous times, but say it, don't spray it Remmy."
"Sorry," he told him before redirecting his attention to Lily, "but isn't commitment supposed to be a good thing?"
"Riley deserves better-"
"There isn't anyone better than you," James told her.
"Thanks James, but he does. He deserves to find someone that's the love of his life, and that's just not me. I wish we were, but no matter how happy we would be together we just aren't each other's true loves."
"How do you figure?" Remus asked.
Lily took some hot wheat cereal, feeding it to Harry, "I don't know… it just came to me all of a sudden and… I honestly don't know how I came to the realization, but it feels right. I don't know if it makes sense, it just feels like that's how it should be, like it's the truth."
"That's deep," Sirius said as he dipped a finger into Harry's food, "that stuff's really
good!"
"First of all, don't put your finger in my son's food; he's picky enough as it is; who knows how he'll react to it now! And second of all, how long have you wanted to try it?" Lily asked him.
"Since you started preparing it, it smelled really good," Sirius sheepishly admitted.
She then tried to feed it to Harry and he began fussing, making it impossible for her to feed it to him. "See, you bloody arse, he won't eat it now!" she yelled at him as she smacked him upside the head.
"Lils we should go, we have to meet with Camus in less than an hour and can you please stop beating up my boyfriend all the time, I'm kind of fond of this one," Remus told her, laughing at the scene that was unfolding.
"Sure, just let me put Harry down and I'll meet you in the living room in forty. Amber should be here any minute anyway."
"Okay," with that, the two left the kitchen.
"She broke up with him," James slowly said once they were out of earshot, as though still trying to process the information.
"I think you're kind of stating the obvious there mate," Sirius mocked him.
"But what does that mean?"
"It means you have a shot," Sirius stated obviously, amused at James' current state of bafflement over what had just occurred.
"Right, right."
"You have no idea what to do, do you?"
"Bloody hell, I feel lost!"
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Lily's office
3 p.m.
She opened the door to leave for the day when she saw that in front of her door stood numerous bouquets of white tulips. She immediately reached for the card in the one closest to her.
Lils,
I know that I said that I wouldn't try anything, but that night changed everything for me. So here I am, taking a chance, going all in. so tell me, do you want me to give up?
If you say yes I promise that I will… and that time forever.
If you say no (like I'm praying that you will right now) then all I ask for is one date. No strings attached, and at the very lease we'll both leave with some semblance of closure.
Yours,
James.
"Bloody hell," she was in a state of shock, she hadn't expected that move on his part. James was one for the extravagant gestures, not something so simple, but beautiful, something so endearing.
"I'm screwed," was the only thought running through her mind as she re-entered her office.
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"Finny boy," she called into the mirror.
"You rang?"
"I need help."
"No surprise there."
"It's about James."
"Is that why you dumped Riley?"
"So you heard?"
"How could I not? A bit disappointed that you didn't tell me though."
"I love you!" she told him, well aware of the fact that those three words were always an easy route back into his good graces.
"Of course you do, it's me, how could you not? And I forgive you. So what'd you want?"
"James sent me a letter," she told him before reading it to him. "So tell me, what do I do now?"
"Okay, first tell me why you broke up with Riley because he's really tight lipped about it right now."
"Why?"
"Just trust me."
"well, we're just not meant for one another."
"How do you know?"
"Because- well, because I'll never love him like I did-"
"James," he finished for her, disappointed that after two years of helping her move on it still came back to the guy that broke her heart. "Well, I think you just answered your own question."
"How?"
"If James is the only one that you can imagine as your soul mate or whatever girly term you want to use for it, then maybe you should just give it another go."
"I guess…"
"Why are you so indecisive?" Finn exclaimed, his first traces of aggrivation coming through.
"Well, what if-"
"No! No `what if'! I won't have any of it! You dumped one of the best guys out there because he couldn't compare to James in your eyes, and now you won't give it a go with James? Woman, you're in a constant state of PMS and personally I'm sick of it. Just pick, it's no fucking strings attached Lils, stop over analyzing!"
"HEY!"
"It's true," he told her, calming down after his outburst.
"You're right, but you're still a wanker," she admitted with a weak smile.
catching onto the fact that the conversation was now over, he laughed, "excuse me? Do you honestly think I ever have to with a body like this?"
"I doubt that anyone is as egotistical as you in the world."
"Well my personal theme song is `you're so vain' for a reason my dear."
"I miss you."
"I miss you too, and Harry. Life isn't the same without you two here. Riley and I grew used to having him in our lives; we never realized what a staple in it you two were until you weren't there anymore."
"He misses you too."
"Promise me that I'll still be in his life, that you'll find a way."
"Of course … Riley too, that is if he wants to."
"He does. He gets it Lils, he really does. He just wants you to be happy in the end. Just give him some time, his prides a bit tainted right now."
"He's too good."
"Well with a guy like Riley in his life Harry will grow up to be a great man," he told her sweetly, without a single undertone of spite or jealousy.
"You too you know."
"I'm just the resident drunk Lily, and I'm okay-" he told her simply, hiding his aggravation at the image that people have of him, the one that they never let him escape.
"Don't- don't say that, I may tease you about that, but you're so much more. Yes, you have your faults, but so does everyone else-"
"Even Riley?" eh asked her doubtfully.
"You and I both know that he's perfect, but you know Harry can learn so much from you, from your faults too you know."
"Thanks Lils, it means a lot to me," he told her with a sweet smile, one of the rare glimpses into his vulnerability that only Lily had ever been exposed to.
"You've done so much more for me."
"Well I love you."
"I love you too Fin-Fin."
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Quidditch pitch
5 p.m.
James was leaving the pitch after practice finished when he saw Lily's owl Herbert flying towards him. He reached for the letter that it dropped and when he opened it he was shocked by the response.
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author's note: so I just realized that I won't be home tomorrow until late so I wouldn't be able to post the next chapter as I had initially planned. Since I didn't want to give it in later, here it is…
oh and results are in for the fic that I will do: (p.s. the 1st place 1 you picked got 3 pts, 2nd place got 2 pts, etc.)
James Potter Must Die: 12
I know that you sleep with my boyfriend:21
A pirate's life was never for me: 28
Like I said, I will write all of the fics regardless, this only dictates in which order they will be published.
Anyway, thank you so much for the astounding amount of support I received.
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