A/N: I know that the pattern up until now has been bouncing back and forth between James' POV to Lily's POV, but this chapter falls out of that. Don't ask me why, it just does. Enjoy! Oh and don't gripe about the whole Severus/Lily thing. It's just there to explain some things and to build on the complexities of the characters. Thank you to those who have reviewed. I love it. Keeps it interesting for me, seeing how you all react to what happens to our favorite Potter Parents. Also, if you check the summary, I changed it up a lot. I think it is more intriguing, but we'll see if that drives up the numbers. Remember to let me know what you think, otherwise I won't know.
Disclaimer: Yup, still just borrowing.
Chapter Twelve
Lily walked with Severus that night, the two walking in complete silence. Lily had her arms crossed against her body as she tried to hold herself together. Part of her was terribly cold; the other part was terribly worried. Had Remus made it before he changed? She listened, her ears straining to hear the sounds of a crazed werewolf on the prowl in the halls and corridors of Hogwarts.
"What's up with you tonight?" Severus asked as the two turned a corner. Lily looked at him, wanting so much to tell him everything.
"Nothing," Lily lied. Severus made a face.
"Is this about Potter?" Severus asked. Lily's face turned pink.
"Why do you always assume that it is, Severus?" Lily asked. While she hated to discuss James with Severus, being that the two seemed to loath each other like no other, she was thankful for the slight distraction.
"It almost always is," Severus said lazily as he caressed his wand between his fingers. Lily rolled her eyes.
"No, it's not. You exaggerate so much," Lily said. Severus smirked.
"I can't believe that you won't go out with me," Severus said quickly. His face had grown dark and Lily looked at him sympathetically.
"We talked about this that night, Severus," Lily said frowning. "I like you, I do. Just as friends, though, and nothing more."
"I don't understand why. We have so much in common. We grew up together, practically. I was the one who told you about our world," Severus said as his voice took on a whine to it. Lily looked at him, her hand resting on his shoulder comforting.
"You are my best friend, Severus, but the love I have for you isn't of the romantic kind. I love you like a brother," Lily said as Severus rested his cheek against her hand. Lily did feel bad for him. She knew the candle that he held for her, and she had tried to make herself feel the same way but she never was able to bring herself to love him as completely as he loved her.
"I don't want you to love me as a brother, Lily," Severus said sadly. Lily had to look away, unable to stand the tears that were welling up in Severus' eyes.
"It's the best I could give you," Lily said. Severus hung his head a moment, to clear his mind and the tears.
"If I can't have you, then I don't want anyone," Severus said quietly. Lily shook her head.
"Don't say that, Severus. You're a great guy," Lily told him. "You can't limit yourself to me."
"I'm just never going to do anything more," Severus said softly. "I would rather die alone, unmarried, and a virgin than to have anyone other than you. I won't settle for anyone. You're the only girl for me."
"Ah, Sev, please don't say that," Lily groaned.
"It's true, though," Severus said. "I haven't kissed anyone since you kissed me, and I never will."
"We were like thirteen!" Lily exclaimed. "Surely you would…"
"No, Lily," Severus said shaking his head. "I know you don't love me, but I love you and I know you know it. There is no other person that I would want to be responsible for my first, last, and only kiss."
"Is there anything I could say or do to persuade you?" Lily asked. Severus looked at her hopefully and Lily shook her head. "Not that, Severus. I'm saving that for my husband, should I choose to get married."
"Then no," he said quietly as his face fell.
"In case I didn't say it, thank you for staying with me that night," Lily said quietly as she took his hand and changed the subject. Severus nodded slightly.
"I wanted to be there sooner, but I was at my mother's own funeral, you know. Otherwise I would have been right there with you," Severus said quietly. "Apparently the Death Eaters decided to punish her because she married my father."
"Well, at least you are a half blood," Lily said teasing.
"What is it that you called me when we were little?" Severus asked. Lily made a face.
"You know quite well, the way you had it scribbled in your potions book last year," Lily said grinning.
"Say it," Severus egged. Lily sighed and rolled her eyes.
"You're my half-blood Prince," Lily said as if he had to drag it out of her. In fact, she loved to call him that. It was an inside joke. He was her half-blood Prince and she was his Lily of the Nile. Quite corny now that they were both of age, but they thought they had been clever when they thought up the pet names back when they were ten.
"I miss hanging out with you," Severus said as he brushed some of her hair out of her face. Lily nodded and ducked away, putting some distance between them before things got awkward.
"The end of our final term is just a few months away. Have you any thought of attending the University with me?" Lily asked. Severus shook his head.
"My passion doesn't rest with being an Auror, to be completely honest," Severus said. "I think I want to teach."
"A noble passion, Severus," Lily said nodding. She checked her watch. "I hate to do this to you, Sev, but do you mind if I skip out early and you wrap up the rest of patrolling? I stayed up way too late studying and I want to head off to bed."
"You don't need to lie to me, Lily. You've never been good at it," Severus said slightly affronted. "You can just tell me you want to go do something else."
"I know, sorry," Lily said as she looked away. Severus touched her cheek gently.
"Is it with him?" Severus asked. Lily looked up at him.
"No, it's alone," Lily said as she shook her head. Severus looked at her and nodded, knowing that she was telling the truth. Before Lily realized what she was doing, she kissed his cheek and bolted down the hall leaving Severus standing there with his wand in one hand and the other hand touching his cheek.
Lily yanked open her back pack and pulled out the cloak. It felt like solid water in the way it flowed against her hand. She threw it on over her head and headed through the front door just moments before Mr. Filch locked up for the night. Lily headed straight to the forbidden forest, stopping only long enough to strap her boot knife to her ankle. She knew she had to be careful tonight. She didn't have anyone looking out for her spark, nor did she have a weapon to protect herself should she need one.
Lily headed straight into the forbidden forest, straight to where the stream was that she saw the unicorns. She would camp out all night, if needed, to see the unicorns. It had been months since she was last there, and Lily knew that it was unlikely that the unicorn was still golden young. Still, she had to try. It took her an hour to find the stream again, and she wasn't even sure that it was the same one from before. The seasons were turning into autumn then whereas they were turning into winter now. There was already a thick frost to the air, and a light brushing of new snow on the ground.
Not wanting to startle the unicorns should they return, Lily pulled off the invisibility cloak and stored it safely in her back pack. She settled herself against the roots of a large tree and waited. In the distance she heard the long, mournful howl of a wolf and Lily silently prayed that it was a common gray wolf and not Remus on the hunt. She was sure that the Centaurs were on the hunt for Remus, and she quickly added his safety to the prayer.
Lily glanced up when she heard some rustling of leaves. She looked in amazement as a beautiful unicorn slowly entered the clearing, him and his horn completely silver except for the very tip. It looked at Lily with its enormous blue eyes and Lily's breath caught in her chest. Though it made little sense, Lily felt that this was the baby unicorn she had encountered earlier in the school year. It seemed to know her, showing no fear as it walked up straight to her.
"Hello there," she whispered as she stretched out her hand. The magnificent creature pawed the ground a moment, its golden hooves making scratching marks on the cold, dry dirt. It's nose was warm and soft in Lily's hand, and while she should have felt sad that she would not be able to harvest or retrieve any golden unicorn hair, she felt a deeper peace and contentment with the beast before her.
Lily petted the creature, eager to learn the secrets of the unicorn. It was a moment that she would remember for the rest of her life, she was certain. The creature froze. Lily could feel the cords of muscle in him become rigid. Lily glanced around, finding that the once noisy woods had become eerily silent. Without warning, the beast took off through a clearing, leaving Lily alone by the stream.
"Oh, well," Lily said as she looked around for her back pack. "I can't say that I didn't do my best."
Lily picked up her bag and figured that she'd get at least four hours of sleep if she headed back to the castle now, and she would get six if she skipped her first class. A low, thunderous growl interrupted her self-absorbed thoughts. Slowly, as if afraid to see where it was coming from, she looked up. There, in the moon light was a werewolf standing on its hind legs. It towered above her and Lily froze. Glinting in the moonlight, around the beast's neck was a small gold chain and a pendent. Lily recognized it at once. The beast before her was Remus.
"Remus," Lily whispered as she slowly began to back away. She was careful not to make any sudden movements. "Remus, it's me. Lily. Remember me? We were prefects together since third year."
The beast continued to come closer, its growl becoming more and more intense. Lily felt true fear of him for the first time. His bore his teeth, sticky saliva oozing from between and wetting his fur lined jaw. His long talon like claws scratched deeper in the earth, erasing the marks the unicorn had made. His eyes were trained on her, and they looked hungry.
"Please, Remus," Lily begged as she continued to back up. She knew she would never be able to out run him and she feared that he didn't have potion in him to suppress the aggressive wolfishness in him. "Remus, we kissed, remember? In our fourth year? It was during Christmas. Remus, please remember. We loved each other, remember? We really care for each other."
Without warning the werewolf pounced, its long claws digging deep into Lily's collar and shoulders. Lily and Remus tumbled backwards, Lily slamming her head smartly on a large, sharp rock with a sickening crack. Little white stars danced before her eyes, but Lily couldn't afford to lose consciousness. She held on to her thoughts, his snout in sight. Lily cried out as she struggled from underneath him, his claws deepening in her shoulder.
"No, Remus, no! You can't do this to me," Lily screamed at him as she struggled against the werewolf. He continued to snarl and snap at her, Lily's arm at Remus throat as she fought to keep him at bay. "Please, Remus, don't do this to me. I want to help you; it's all I have ever wanted to do for you. Please, Remus. Don't do anything you are going to regret. Please, Remus, please."
She continued to struggle, his warm, wet breath on face. He licked her face, but not in a playful way. He tasted the blood that had become smeared on her face. He breathed in her scent deeply. Lily struggled some more, figuring that if Remus was hell bent on making her a werewolf too she wouldn't go down without a fight. She punched him hard in the nose and kneed him in the groin. Even with him being a werewolf, the knee to the groin sent him whimpering and retreating back from her for a moment.
"I'm sorry, Remus," Lily whispered as she scrambled to her feet. She pulled out her boot knife, holding it by the handle. She didn't want to but she would use it if push came to shove. A furry claw came out of nowhere and collided with Lily's side, sending her back to the ground. She smacked her head against another solid rock. Her lungs screamed for air as she looked up at the night sky peeking from between the branches of the tree.
"No, Remus!" Lily screamed as the werewolf pounced on her roughly. His clawed paw pressed into her throat, threatening to suffocate her. She felt light headed and dizzy, his heavy breathing obscene in her ear. She struggled against him. Remus slammed her head repeatedly against the rock. She could feel the world closing in around her, she was losing consciousness. If she passed out, she would be defenseless. She never even thought to grab her wand; there wasn't enough time to even think about it.
"I'm sorry," Lily choked out as she plunged her knife into his shoulder deeply and turned it slightly. Her hand fell away from Remus and the knife, having passed out from the lack of oxygen.
***
A/N: So this is where I leave you tortured and tormented until some other time, my dear readers. And though I wrote it, I went ahead and read the next chapter (that flows so easily with this one). All I can say is… wow… I am a tease for leaving you hanging like this… and what happens in the next two chapters… three chapters… wow. Hugs and Kisses!
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