A/N: Ok, so everyone assumed that LV raped Lily, right? That's what the angry emails I am getting (starting to think maybe I should remove my email address) indicate. Ok, so if clears it up: she was not raped. She was tortured, though… and yes, sexually abused, but no, he did not rape her… he's still too good for a Mudblood. Perhaps he planned to and had second thoughts, but we don't really know why he had second thoughts… I doubt it was because he cared or anything… who knows why he does anything?! So no, he did not rape her. Just to clear that up. I know a bunch of people were upset about this story, and what not, and I get it. But, in my defense… I did warn you.
Warning: This chapter includes magic, co-habitation without marriage, bad manners, flash backs, tears, nightmares, some language, and taking the lord's name in vain (seriously, though, I'll add more detailed warnings from now on, ok?).
Disc.: I wrote the plot. The characters are just being borrowed for my own devices.
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C 39: Will You?
Lily barely glanced up as the cell door opened again. Severus walked in, carrying another tray of food in for Lily. He tripped over several other trays that were on the floor, still full of food, nearly falling on his face. Severus was only able to just keep himself on his feet. He glanced down at the offending trays, righting himself fully. He set the metal tray down, looking at Lily laying there on the little cot.
"Lily, you have to eat," Severus said quietly. Lily continued to lay there. "Listen, Lily. You've been here two weeks; you've got to eat something."
"I'm not hungry," Lily said.
"You have to think of your babies, Lily," Severus said.
"Right," Lily said as she sat up on the cot. "You don't actually think that I want them to be born here, in a dungeon."
"Give the Dark Lord Sirius Black, and he'll let you go," Severus insisted as he sat down on the cot next to her. He summoned the tray, catching it deftly in his hand. He offered it to her, but she refused.
"I'm not going to give him up," Lily said. Severus shook his head.
"Sirius is an asshole," Severus said.
"Yeah, he might be, but he's my friend," Lily said. Severus nodded once and pressed the tray into Lily's hands. She glanced up at the open door and then down at the tray. She looked at Severus.
"A kiss before you go?" Severus whispered. Lily nodded, leaning forward, her mouth meet his slightly. He parted his lips slightly, deepening the kiss. He pulled back slightly. "Make it look good."
"Thank you," Lily said as she swung the tray up hard, knocking Severus clear across the head with the tray. The sound of metal on bone reverberated through the small cell. Lily checked to make sure that Severus was still alive, that he hadn't been killed, before she ran out the door to the cell. She swung the door shut, and tiptoed up the stairs. She had no idea where she was but she knew she needed to get out of the house, wherever she was, and get far, far away.
Luck was on her side. The full moon had passed the week before, the weather was clear, and she could make out the gate not too far off from the window she had climbed out of in a hurry. She was thankful she still could run, hiding behind bushes and trees, despite her rounding stomach. She got winded easily, looking close to five months along despite being just eleven weeks. She slid under the gate, struggling a bit as her dress snagged a bit on the edge of the fence.
Lily ran as fast as her legs would take her through the woods and away from the house of hell she had escaped from. She still had no idea where she was going. She kept looking up at the sky, checking the scars, and thanking God she paid attention to Astronomy class. She knew she was heading north, though she wasn't sure if north was a good direction, but she knew she was not running around in circles.
She closed her eyes, thinking about the hotel she had been with Alice and Frank. She knew it was unlikely that she would be able to apparate, but she had to try. She turned on the spot, thinking about the hotel. She felt a familiar tug of apparation and she stumbled in the parking deck of the hotel, pitching forward and fell on her face, her palms and knees scraping on the rough asphalt. Lily jumped up, looking around. She was terrified and excited that she had performed un-wanded magic, and accurately enough to apparate to the hotel parking deck, just a little off from where she was aiming.
Lily glanced at her reflection in a car as she walked by it. She looked a lot a bit like hell, she thought, her hair unwashed and her clothes dirt covered. She wasn't sure how she was going to get into her room, she was just thankful she had put the room on a credit card to keep it until she checked out. Several people looked at her oddly as she walked in the front door of the hotel barefoot and disheveled, and straight over to the elevator. She pressed the up button, stepping onto the elevator, and pressed the eighth floor button. The door was locked to her room, as expected. She paused at the door, her hand resting against the lock. She closed her eyes, focusing all of her magic through her hand.
"Alohamora," Lily whispered. The door unlocked and Lily walked into her room. She rested against the door, ignoring the pain she had in her feet from the thorns and things she had stepped on in her escaped. She walked straight into the bathroom and flipped on the hot water. She looked at herself in the mirror. She felt the tears run down her face, hot and unimpeded, as she stood looking at the unfamiliar person staring back at her. Lily tore off her clothes, never wanting to see them again. She stood their naked, seeing for the first time in weeks how she had changed.
She was rounder now, though she had only been gone for two weeks. She tentatively stepped into the shower, under the hot water, and felt a sigh of relief escape her. She was safe, and the knowledge that she truly was safe flooded over her and mingled with the torrents of tears that streamed down her face. She was sobbing now, scouring her flesh with soap to remove the weeks of abuse she had suffered at the hands of Death Eaters. Even the hot water and soap could wash away the bruises and cuts. She knew she needed to see a doctor, but she knew any doctor would have questions and Lily just didn't want to talk about it, any of it.
When her skin was as pink as it could manage to be, Lily stepped out from under the shower and turned the water off. The silence was deafening. Lily wrapped a towel around herself and headed to the phone. Later, she would call Frank and Alice to assure them that she was ok. For now, she was starving and she ordered up quite a bit of room service. Secretly, she had been nibbling on the food back in captivity, but not enough to be noticed. She had been afraid that it might be poisoned or tainted. She silently hoped that Severus was alright.
Room service arrived on a cart with wheels, and Lily could practically taste the food as she opened up each tray. With the attendant gone, Lily made short work of the food, sampling and eating until she was so full and drowsy that she could hardly keep her eyes closed. She pulled on some clothes, thankful she hadn't sent the bulk of them ahead, searching around until she found a giant tee shirt. She didn't care to notice at the moment the extra luggage in the room; instead she climbed into one of the beds, pulled the covers up to her chin and fell fast asleep.
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For two weeks they looked tirelessly for Lily. They contacted the muggle law enforcement, as well as the magical law enforcement. The searched high and low and everything seemed to point back to another missing and presumed dead person at the hands of Lord Voldemort. Two weeks was the breaking point for James, who knew if they hadn't found her alive by then, they would be forced to believe the worst.
Alice cried a lot those two weeks, full of worry for her best friend. Frank and Alice had debated whether or not to tell James about the babies. On one hand, they knew he had a right to know, but on the other hand, he was suffering so much. In the end, they kept it quiet and didn't say much of anything. It was the same. The six of them would go out early in the morning, spend all day searching for her high and low, and then return late at night to start again the next day. It was their routine.
James had taken to carrying around Lily's wand with him everywhere he went, her wand next to his. He wouldn't give up, not at all. He knew, deep within him, that she was alive and he would find her. It was his duty as her boyfriend to never give up hope even when the magical law enforcement told him it had been too long and it was time to let her go. James wasn't ready to just throw in the towel.
He was the first back to the hotel, having decided to look alone for a little while. In actuality, he had wandered around crying for a bit of the day, and he had needed that. He wasn't big into praying, but he found himself begging the powers that be to give him a chance, to allow Lily and him to have some happiness in their lives. James stopped at the desk.
"Any messages for room eight-oh-three?" James asked the clerk. The clerk glanced at the box and shook his head.
"No, sir," the clerk said shaking his head.
"Thanks," James said as he began to walk away.
"Did you enjoy the food?" the clerk asked him. James turned back to look at the clerk, a confused look on his face.
"Food?" James asked.
"Yeah," the clerk said. "It was ordered a little while ago."
"It was?" James asked. The clerk nodded with a confused look on his own face. James nodded quickly. "It was, wasn't it? It was fine."
James headed to the elevator, aggressively pressing the button until the doors slid open and he climbed on board. He pressed the key for the eighth floor and restlessly tapped his foot while the elevator seemed to take an insanely long amount of time heading up to the eighth floor. Finally, when James was certain that he could take no more of the vertical travel, the doors slid open and James climbed out. He headed straight to the door and tapped it once with his wand.
The room was pitch dark and still as James entered, his wand at the ready should he need it for anything. James held his breath as he crept closer and closer to the lumpy mass on one of the beds. He could see it moving and he was ready to pounce on it, should it make a move to attack. He reached down for the edge of the covers, gripping it in his non-wand hand. He jerked back the covers, a scream piercing the silence of the night.
The others had seen James ahead of them on the elevator, so they assumed that he had already checked for messages. They had waited silently for the elevator, not saying much of anything. They were drained, only wanting to crawl into bed and sleep. They were walking toward the room when they heard the scream from their room and the five of them took off down the hall towards the room.
Alice screamed something, though the words were lost on the boys as she pushed past them and flung her arms around Lily. The two girls were crying and hugging, their word undistinguishable through the sobs and hiccups of the girls. The boys just looked on, uncertain about the correct way to handle girls crying that way. The two girls were crying and talking, but nothing could be translated into words.
"Where have you been?" James asked quietly. Lily looked up and as if seeing him for the first time pushes Alice aside and wraps her arms around him.
"L-Lord V-Voldemort," Lily sobbed. She tucked her face into his neck and cried.
"Did he hurt you?" James asked angrily. Lily continued to cry, nodding. "What did he do to you? Why you?"
"He was naked," Lily cried. "He was going to… going to…"
"To what?" James asked quietly. Lily cried harder, shaking her head.
"He didn't. He said the thought of me surrounding him disgusted him," Lily wailed. James patted her back.
"We should go," Sirius said quietly pushing Peter toward the door.
"No," Lily said loudly. She looked up at him from James' strong shoulder. "He's looking for you. He won't give up until he gets you. Your mom promised him your service, and he wants you to serve him. He's going to look for you until he finds you."
"He hurt you because of me?" Sirius asked disturbed. Lily nodded.
"Yeah," Lily said nodding again. "I refused to tell him. Granted I didn't know where you were,
therefore I couldn't have told him had I wanted to, but still… I didn't tell him."
"Jesus, Lily," Sirius said shaking his head. "You should have told him."
"I don't betray my friends!" Lily said as she bit back another sob. "Even if I had known, I wouldn't have given you up. You're my friend."
"But he hurt you!" Sirius exclaimed.
"He would have hurt me anyways," Lily countered. Sirius hesitated then nodded, knowing she was right. Lord Voldemort hurt others just to hurt them. Lily give him up wouldn't have stopped Lord Voldemort from torturing and hurting Lily. He walked over to her and hugged her while she was still standing there in James' arms. The three of them stood there. He pulled away after a minute and looked down at the baggy tee shirt, but didn't say anything.
"Ok, I know this is an emotionally charged time right now, but I'm starved. Can we cry and hug over a bowl of soup or steak?" Sirius asked. Lily laughed and buried her faced deeper into James. She felt truly safe for the first time in weeks.
After room service was delivered, the seven sat around talking and eating. Lily remained snuggled against James in the bed, having crawled into it moments before the food arrived. Sirius again looked like he was going to say something, but the food's arrival distracted him. Lily yawned and rested her head against the pillow, listening drowsily while they talked.
"So, in the morning we will go ahead and head home," Alice said quietly. Lily bolted upright, nearly tipping the plate James was balancing on her.
"No!" Lily cried out. "I'm not letting that monster take the rest of my summer away from me!"
"Are you sure?" Alice asked giving her a look.
"I'm fine, really. Shaken, yes, but fit as a fiddle," Lily promised nodding emphatically. "I'll go to the doctor to get checked out, even, to prove everything is fine."
"Are you sure, because you've been through a lot and I am worried about you," Alice said. Lily shot her another look.
"I'll survive," Lily said. The two girls seemed to continue the conversation silently between the two of them with looks before Alice nodded.
"Then tomorrow we'll go see Dr. Wells," Alice said simply. That was the end of the conversation between them. Alice started to get ready for bed. She glanced back at Lily, who was already fast asleep.
"What is up with you?" Remus whispered to Alice as he nodded towards Lily. Sirius had stopped untying his shoe to listen.
"Nothing," Alice lied. "I'm just glad to have Lily back and safe, that's all."
"Remind me to give her back her wand in the morning, will you?" James asked Sirius as the boy slid into the bed next to James, who was between Lily and Sirius.
"Will do, brother," Sirius said as he slid under the covers. Lily snuggled into James, sighing.
"I'm glad we have her back, too," James murmured as he kissed her forehead slightly before he put his head down next to hers on the pillow. "I'm going to get that son of a bitch back for hurting her."
Lily was asleep, dreaming. It was the first of many nightmares that she would be plagued with for some time. In her dream, she was struggling against Lord Voldemort. He was holding her down, hard, threatening to cut the babies from her stomach. Lily began fighting him, jerking and thrashing to free herself from Lord Voldemort's grasp.
"Lily, wake up, wake up," James said shaking her shoulders lightly. "Shh, wake up."
"James?" Lily asked a little disoriented.
"Hey, honey, wake up, it's ok," James said quietly. "It was just a bad dream. You're safe now, with me, and I'm never going to let anything bad happen to you."
"Thank god," Lily breathed as she stood up.
"Where are you going?" James asked.
"I, uh, have to use the facilities," Lily said quietly as she walked over to the bathroom. James had wakened Sirius when he had rescued Lily from her nightmare.
"Hey, where's Lily?" Sirius asked quietly as he pushed himself up on his arm.
"Bathroom," James said. The door opened and the two boys looked up to see Lily silhouetted in the light of the bathroom. James saw Lily for the first time, really saw her. "Hey, Sirius there's something to what you said about Lily."
"Which was?" Sirius asked as they watched her was her hands in the sink.
"She HAS gotten a little chunky," James said quietly.
"No, I don't think that is chunkiness," Sirius whispered shaking his head. "I think… and I could be wrong, but I don't think so… I think Lily might be pregnant."
"Pregnant?!" James yelled, causing everyone to wake and to jump up. Lily looked over at James, her mouth open.
"Shh, it's not that big of a deal," Alice said sleepily.
"You knew?" James asked.
"I've seen them," Alice yawned waving them off and rolling back into Frank.
"Them?" James asked quietly. Lily walked over to James and climbed back into bed. She turned the light on and looked at him.
"I found out when I got here," Lily said quietly. "I was going to tell you the minute when you and I got back together. I'm pregnant with twins."
"Who's the father?" James asked stupidly. Lily looked angry.
"You are, you idiot," Lily snapped.
"Didn't use protection?" James asked.
"Obviously not," Lily said as she turned away from him. She bit back a sob that threatened to erupt from her. She reached up and turned off the light, her back remaining positioned toward him.
"Lily," James said quietly in her ear. "It's just a shock, you know?"
"I know," Lily replied. She didn't turn toward him, just willed sleep.
"I'm happy, I am," James promised. "And we can get married straight away."
"I don't want to get married," Lily said quickly. "Not because we're going to be parents."
The room was silent for a few minutes. Lily felt herself tense and unable to relax. She had known that he wouldn't have been thrilled about these turn of events. After all, they were only eighteen, and not married. What would his mother and father think about the way these things? Surely they'd not like a set of illegitimate grandchildren.
"I'm going to be a DAD!" James shouted excitedly as he jumped up on the bed. He began jumping from his bed to Alice and Frank's bed. "I'm going to be a DAD!"
"Yeah, you are," Alice and Frank laughed sleepily. James threw his arms around Lily.
"I love you SO MUCH!" James said as he kissed Lily on her mouth. "I really do. You and I are going to make great parents. I can't wait to meet our children. How far along are you… we?"
"Almost twelve weeks, James," Lily said quietly as she pulled away from him. "You can come with me to the appointment tomorrow."
"Don't be mad with me Lils," James begged. "There have just been so many emotions today."
"I know," Lily said yawning. "I'm tired."
"Right, of course," James said climbing in to the bed between Lily and Sirius. He cuddled against Lily. "You're sleeping for three."
"Be sure to remember that," Lily laughed sleepily. James hesitantly rested his hand on her stomach, uncertain if it was appropriate. Lily must have been okay with it because she scooted closer to James.
"Hey, Lily?" James whispered in her ear.
"Hmm?" Lily murmured sleepily.
"Will you marry me?" James asked.
"Someday," Lily murmured as she drifted off to sleep.
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