A/N: This is going to be from Author Omniscient's POV. Technically, this could be the end of the story… but there are a few things that still have to be dealt with, and a whole other term for them to go through. I wasn't going to release this until Monday, but with me not feeling well and not even TOUCHED chapter 16, I figured it wouldn't be fair. Enjoy, and review if you will. I will assume that if you do not review it means that you don't like the story.
Disclaimer: Nope, still didn't create the world.
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Chapter Fifteen
Lily was sitting at the table several seats down from James, Sirius, and the others. She was quiet, but she had quiet at meals for some time. James glanced down at her, watching as Lily randomly moved food around her plate. She looked odd. She was staring off into space, occasionally glancing down at the food on her plate. James glanced over at Sirius, who shrugged.
They had been watching her like a hawk, especially the past couple of days. The full moon had come so quickly, and tonight would be the real test. Tomorrow, they would all leave Hogwarts for Christmas. Either Lily was going to have a really good Christmas or she was going be one unhappy girl once a month. She sneezed, breaking James' train of thought.
"God bless you," he said instinctively. She looked up, startled as if he had shouted in her ear.
"Thank you," Lily said hesitantly. She put her fork down, shaking her head. She hadn't talked to Remus in a month, she had been skipping patrols, and she had been spending an unhealthy amount of time in the room of requirement, alone.
"Do you want to go for a walk?" James asked suddenly. He hadn't exactly been keeping his distance, he had just backed down. Everyone had. It was as if she were a fragile egg, and they were waiting for tonight. Tonight the shell would come off and either she'd be a human or she'd be a werewolf.
"Uh," Lily said. James felt like shaking her. He had told her that he would love her no matter what, and yet he still hadn't been able to get through to her.
"What's one walk?" James asked. He could see her playing the scenarios out in her head.
"I'd rather not, I think it'd be a bad idea," Lily said quietly. She pushed her plate away and stood.
"Where are you going?" Alice asked quickly.
"I'm not going to do anything stupid," Lily said as she looked away from her friends with shame written on her face.
"I know," Alice said. "Do you want company?"
"I…no," Lily said finally. They could feel it, the reaching out she tried to do but wouldn't follow through. They knew she wanted help, she needed a friend, but her fear consumed her until she became the shell of girl she now was. Alice looked to Remus and James as Lily walked towards the exit door. The great hall's ceiling was a perfect setting for a rather cold, cruel day.
Lily didn't think much of where she was going, she just allowed her feet to carry her where they would. She found herself sitting on a bench in the courtyard. She rested her elbows on her knees and bent over to study the snow beetles that were walking around carelessly. She didn't look up at the person who joined her on the bench.
"Even though I was small when it happened, I remember how scared I was that first night," Remus said quietly. Lily didn't give him any indication that she heard him. "I was scared that it would hurt. I was afraid that my father would no longer love me. I was all alone."
Lily didn't say anything.
"I'm so sorry that you have to go through this. I would give my life to go back and change that night, Lily," Remus said quietly. He watched her, any indication that she heard him. He watched as a tear slipped to the snow and froze.
"I was in the woods for you," Lily said so quietly that Remus wasn't certain that he had even heard her speak.
"What?" Remus asked. Lily slowly turned her head to look at him. His worst horror was confirmed, her eyes were filled with tears. Have her slap him any day over tears. They cut him to the quick.
"I was in the wood for you," she replied as quietly as before. "I was so close to curing you. I just needed another try; I needed another golden unicorn hair."
"Lily," Remus said quietly as he placed his hand on her shoulder.
"I tried my best!" Lily wailed so loudly that it drew a few curious stares. She wrapped her arms around his neck and sobbed into the warm fold of his collar.
"I know you did," Remus said as he patted her shoulder.
"What am I going to do if tonight… if I become… if I…" Lily couldn't bring herself to say it as she pulled away from him. She wrapped her arms around her body as if she were physically holding herself together.
"Well…" Remus said as he scratched the back of his head. "We could always have a litter of cubs together."
"Oh GOD!" wailed Lily. Remus looked horrified.
"I was only kidding, Lily. I'm sorry," Remus said powerlessly. "I'm sorry. I know it was a bad joke."
"Jeeze, Moony, you're supposed to be out here cheering her up, not making her cry," Sirius scowled as he walked by them. Lily looked up at him, confused. He held up the bucket he was holding. "Just out for a detention with Sprout again. She said for me to bring a bucket."
"Shouldn't you be there already?" Remus asked as he raised an eyebrow.
"Leaving," Sirius said. He looked up at the sky and then down at his watch. "Keep your eyes on the time, kiddos. The last thing we want is for two people with furry little problems running amuck through the school."
"Duly noted," Remus said. Sirius nodded once and headed away. Remus turned back to Lily. "Whatever happens tonight, you will always have me as a friend, just like you will always have Alice, Sirius, Peter, and, yes, James. Especially James, Lily, because he is crazy about you and could care less if you were human, muggle, or even werewolf."
"I'm afraid," Lily confessed.
"I wish that there was something that I could do to make you less afraid, but I can't. Only time will take that fear from your heart," Remus said quietly. He bumped her shoulder. "If you knew how worried James has been about you, you'd run over to him right now and throw your arms around him. He cares about you more than he cares about himself."
Later that evening, just before night fall, Lily took the long walk to the dungeons. It was cold down there, and while she had dressed warmly, the air still had a chill on it. She knew as she walked to the dungeon, Remus was getting a potion to ease his symptoms and he was heading to the Shrieking Shack. She wouldn't be given any potions, she would be left on her own to convert unimpeded, if that should be her fate.
"Always early," Professor Dumbledore said as Lily walked through the barred door. She nodded.
"This is too important to be late," Lily said quietly. She hung her head and extended her arms.
"It's not that bad, Lily," Professor Dumbledore said as he tapped a set of chains. The cuffs opened and her wrists and ankles fit perfectly in the couplings. Lily felt like a prisoner and panic began to well up in her. She took a few deep breaths to calm herself.
"Do I really have to keep these on all night?" Lily asked as the chains snaked around her waist. Professor Dumbledore nodded.
"I'm sorry, dear, but we have to take all the precautions we can with this sort of thing inside the castle. It's why Remus is out of the castle when he changes. He hates the shackles," Professor Dumbledore said as he gave the chains one final tap. They affixed themselves to a large metal ring in the stone wall. "They will automatically release you at dawn. Sorry the cot isn't more comfortable, but we have to limit what we give you as a potential weapon should you change."
"Will it hurt? Remus never told me," Lily asked. Professor Dumbledore stood at the door, ready to lock her in the room.
"Alas, I do not know, but my guess would be that it would hurt no more than any other change," Professor Dumbledore said as he moved aside as James slipped into the room before he closed the door with a resounding bang. "See you in the morning."
"Wait, what are you doing in here?" Lily asked as she sat down on the cot. "Shouldn't you be with Remus?"
"I already know what happens to Remus when the moon is full," James said as he paced the room slowly. "I'm here to see what happens to you."
"And should I change?" Lily asked.
"Then… we'll know," James said quietly. Lily placed her feet up on the cot and her head on the pillow. She was tired; the stresses that lead up to this point had taken its toll on her.
"Shouldn't you change into your Animagus?" Lily asked him as she struggled to brush some hair out of her face without raking the cold chains across her face.
"No," James said as he walked closer. "I don't plan on becoming the stag tonight, Lily."
"But if I change, James. I could attack you," Lily said as panic rose in her heart. James shrugged.
"So?"
"So? I could kill you, or worse, I could turn you into one, too," Lily cried aloud. James smiled as he sat down next to her.
"The moon'll be rising in a moment," said James as he placed his head down on the pillow next to her.
"James, please," Lily cried. He smiled at her, their faces just inches from each other. He wiped a rogue tear away with his thumb and brushed some of her hair out of her face.
"Lily, no matter what, I want to be where you are, how you are, with you," James said softly. "I love you, and the only unforgivable fate for me would not to have you in my life."
He pressed his mouth to hers, her mouth yielding to the gentle pressure. Lily squeezed her eyes tightly as he pulled her close to him. She ignored the tears that were streaming mercilessly down her face. James heart was pound hard against hers, their legs intertwined. He pulled his mouth away from hers momentarily as he planted little kisses along her jaw line and against her neck. He returned his mouth to hers, holding her tightly as if she was the only thing keeping him alive when everything else was dying.
"The moon has risen," James whispered in her ear as his mouth left her mouth. She opened her eyes, the room bathed in the milky light of the moon. It washed over them, illuminating them.
"Am I?" Lily breathed. She knew but she needed him to confirm.
"You're fine, Lily," James said as a wave of relief washed over him. He tilted his head back and whooped. "Oh, thank god. You're fine."
James buried his face into her neck, and for the first time ever Lily realized how much he really cared about her. He had been really worried, but he had been willing to allow himself be infected if that meant they could be together. Lily had never known love like that before.
"You were going to do it. You would really risk me turning you into a werewolf," Lily said incredulously as she remained in his arms. Hours had passed, though it seemed like minutes. James snuggled against her.
"Yeah," he said sleepily. He pressed a kiss against her throat softly, not even bothering to open his eyes. "I know, it doesn't change anything between us, but I love you."
"I love you too, James," Lily whispered. He had already fallen asleep. She tried to wake him but he moaned softly and pressed his face against her shirt. "James? Are you awake?"
James stirred but did not wake.
"James, I hope you understand. I can't let people know that I love you. To do so would mean I admit it fully to myself. I lose all control. I lose deniability. It means that it will hurt that much more when you're gone, and you will go," Lily whispered as her fingers played in his hair. "Nothing lasts forever, including love. I've already lost my parents, and my sister has turned from me. I can't live with my heart broken and I know you'll break my heart."
"You're wrong," James whispered back sleepily. His eyes were still closed. "I'll never leave you, Lily, and I'll never break your heart."
"You're awake?" Lily asked quietly as she looked down at his still closed eyes. He sighed softly.
"How could I sleep knowing this may be the only time that I get to be this close to you?" James asked sleepily, still keeping his eyes closed. He opened an eye and peered at her sleepily. "Plus how can I possibly sleep while you are laying there, playing with my hair. Do you have any idea how alluring that is?"
"I'm shocked," Lily teased softly as she bit her lip slightly.
"That it turns me on?" he inquired grinning sleepily. Lily laughed and shook her head.
"No, that you know a world like alluring," Lily said. He laughed.
"You're always underestimating me," James said as he wiggled his eyebrows. He laughed at her playfully. "It's a shame that you're all tied up. I can think of few things we can do."
"Nope, uh-uh James," she laughed as she playfully pushed his chest with her bound hands. "I'm saving that until marriage."
"Well, how about a Christmas wedding then?" James asked. She laughed.
"Oh, God. And you're serious, too," Lily said helplessly. He tickled her sides.
"Sort of, kind of," James said. He kissed her ear gently. "I do plan on making you my wife, but I can be patient. First things first, how about we go out on a date? Say to Hogsmeade the first weekend back in the new year?"
"Sounds like a date, James Potter," Lily sighed as she rested her face against his. "I look forward to it."
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A/N: So, that is the end of the first term, and it will pick back up in the new term with Chapter 16. I hope that you have enjoyed the first term of seventh year as much as I have. Enjoy second term.
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