A/N: I hope the last little chapter didn't throw anyone off. I just find it amazing that so many people can believe that murder can happen, but that sexual stuff doesn't. Ah well… some people live in the real world and some do not.
Warning: Themes include premarital coupling, hand holding, and death. People with weak stomachs and pacemakers shouldn't `ride this ride'. Management assumes no responsibility for cry babies. (Told you that I was serious. I would include more detailed warnings).
Disc.: I own little to nothing.
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C40: Safari
James was sitting against one of the few trees in the African savannah. They were stopped for a moment, bird watching, and James has wandered off to gaze at his babies. Granted, all he had was the ultrasound taken just before they headed to Africa. The twins, girls, were now twenty weeks along. He was thrilled that he was getting two little daughters, and could even forgive Lily for dragging them out into the grasslands of the Serengeti in the middle of September.
They had extended their world exploration trip by two weeks, and while the nights were cold and the days were hot, James was really having a great time. He spent his nights with his hand on Lily's stomach, feeling the stir of life beneath her belly button. He was amazed the way that the girls wiggled and squirmed under his hand. He loved the girls, his women.
"Come on James!" Lily shouted from the jeep, waving him over. "We're going to look at rhinos and elephants!"
"Hooray!" James cheered as he stored the little black and white pictures of his daughters in his wallet before joining the others in the jeeps with their guides.
He couldn't believe how excited she was, and how beautiful. She seemed to glow with an internal glow; excitement remained plastered on her face. She spent most of this safari poking James and pointing out subtle things he really would have missed had she not pointed it out for her. He hadn't asked her to marry him again, not yet. He didn't have second thoughts about marrying her, though he regretted just asking her in bed after finding out that she was having his babies.
He could see his fault there. She was a proud woman, insistent that she not think that James only wanted to marry her because she was pregnant. He knew it wasn't the only reason, or any reason. He had planned on marrying her before he found out that she was pregnant. Granted from her side, she couldn't have known that, but he did and he planned on asking her again as soon as the time was right. He kissed her, lovingly touching her stomach. He laughed, his daughter kicking his hand away.
That night, like every night, they sat around the fire, eating and drinking. The guides told stories of poachers and of trials on the Serengeti. James grinned and coaxed Lily to follow him into their tent. Sirius laughed as Lily eagerly followed him. They certainly rocked the tent that night.
"I was thinking," James said quietly as he stroked the soft skin of his beloved Lily while they cuddled together in their tent.
"Mhmm?" Lily murmured as she nuzzled against James' chest, running her finger along his skin in a tantalizing way.
"My grandparents left me a house in Godric Hollow and when we get home, there is a perfect room next to the main suite that we could turn into a nursery," James said carefully.
"Nursery?" Lily inquired.
"Yeah, for our daughters," James said. He paused. "I want you to move in with me when we get back to England. I want us to live together and raise the girls together."
"Live together unmarried?" Lily asked. James grinned.
"I'd rather us get married, but I refuse to rush you," James said. "I was thinking we could talk marriage after the girls are born."
"I love you," Lily said kissing him.
"I love you, too," James said grinning. "So, pink and white bedding is girly, right… with lace?"
"Yeah," Lily said. "You're too cute, thinking about this."
"I've been thinking a lot about us," James admitted.
"I like that," Lily said. "It makes me feel like you're actually growing up." James shrugged.
"It was bound to happen eventually," James said. "You and our girls are worth growing up for."
In the morning, the group climbed into the jeeps and headed off to see a lazy pride of lions sleeping among the golden grasses. It was exciting for them, to be so close to the big cats and to taste the heat of them in the air. The lionesses were tearing apart the flesh of a gazelle, much to the delight of the boys. Alice and Lily made faces at each other, rolling their eyes. It would figure that the boys would be that excited about something so gruesome. Down by the watering hole, they saw smelly wildebeest and hippopotamuses. It was an amazing feat, for sure.
Heading to base camp nearing sunset, Lily and Alice stood and watched as long legged birds took off to the sky. They were standing, holding the roll bars of the jeeps and laughing. The two of them were the source of much amusement for the boys. James went to say something to Lily, something witty and bright, when the jeep hit a deep hole and lurched, sending Lily and Alice tumbling back. The two nearly fell from the jeep. Alice and Lily looked a little startled and shaken up, knowing that even a fall at 35 miles an hour would be quite dangerous. The two girls went to sit down when the jeeps slammed to a sudden stop, sending the two girls into the front seat, Alice on top of Lily and Lily on top of the gear shift. A bull elephant was staring them down, ready to charge.
"Don't move or we're all dead," the guide whispered. Alice froze as she went to climb off of Lily. The elephant moved on and the guide gave them the all clear to move. Alice scrambled off of Lily quickly and offered her hand to Lily. Lily pulled herself back to the back seat.
"Are you ok?" Alice asked. Lily's face was sheet white.
"Hmm." Lily said quietly as she placed her hand on her stomach. It was tight, like normal, but the girls didn't seem to be moving very much.
"Lily," James asked worried.
"I'm sure it's fine. I just don't think the girls like that trip into the front seat," Lily said forcing a smile.
"Well, when we get back to base camp I want you to lay down for a little while, ok?" James said as he looked at her concerned. Lily rolled her eyes, but smiled.
"Yes, Daddy," Lily said. James grinned at her, liking the way that sounded coming off her lips.
Lily was bored in bed, staring at the ceiling of the tent. She could see the flashing of the fire on the roof of the tent. She was feeling a bit sore from her flying dive into the front seat of the jeep. She stood and suddenly felt dampness on her skirt. Her first fear was that she had lost control of her bladder, something that had been threatening since the girls got big enough to tap dance on her bladder. Lily reached below her stomach and glanced at her hand in shock.
Blood dripped from between her fingers. In the firelight, the blood looked redder and quite ominous. She felt pain rip across her abdomen, and she doubled over. She felt a hand on her shoulder and she looked to see James looking quite horrified. She assumed that she must have called him, but she didn't recall doing so.
"I'm going to take her to St. Mungo's," James told the others, struggling to get Lily to her feet. "You come when you're done dealing with the guides."
James apparated with Lily, and before he knew what was happening, she was whisked away from him and he was forced into sterile garbs. He was terrified, not certain what was happening. Healers were rushing around, bumping into James as they rushed past him. The head healer pulled him off to the side.
"Son, things aren't looking good for any of them. She said that she fell against the gear shift of a jeep," the healer said.
"We were on Safari," James said frightened. "What's going to happen to Lily and the girls?"
"We have to take the girls now, to save Lily," the Healer said.
"Ok," James said.
"The thing is the girls will not survive. They are too little," the Healer said shaking his head. "I'm sorry."
"So… they are going die?" James asked hesitantly.
"Yes," the Healer said. "But we might be able to save Lily if we start labor now and take them."
"What does Lily say?" James asked.
"We have her out of it, to ease the pain of it all," the Healer said. "She's not very coherent right now. You have to decide. If we don't treat her, the babies will die and she will die too. If we start treating her, the babies will still die but we might be able to save her."
"Save her," James said quietly.
"Would you like to be there when they are born?" The Healer asked. James nodded.
"They are our daughters," James said nodding solemnly.
"Ok," the Healer said.
James was there, sitting next to Lily. She really was out of it, not even awake really. The room was quiet as each baby was delivered. Each tiny girl was perfect, a perfect blend of their mother and father, with tiny little fingers and tiny toes. James was handed each of the girls, still warm and sticky with blood. Their first and last minute of life spent in their father's protective arms. Neither girl took their first breaths, nor cried their first cries. It took only a minute for them to succumb to such an early birth, protected from the world, and for the moment they lived in their Daddy's arms.
James held each of them in his arms, their tiny bodies wrapped safe and secure in a blanket. James knew that the healers wouldn't have even attempt to save them, being born at twenty weeks were twenty weeks too soon. Once their hearts had stopped, the healers took the twins, cleaned them up, and offered to return them to James' arms. He shook his head and opted to look at them lying on the warming bed, the light now off. There was no purpose to keep them warm. They had died before they had even had a chance to live.
He felt hot tears spill down his cheeks and his chest felt tight, like he couldn't breathe. James touched the children's fingers and hands, his finger caressed their tiny cheeks and traced their angelic little mouths. Realization sunk in. He became a father and it was taken away, all in a breath or lack thereof. He stayed next to the girls for a while, glancing over his shoulder to check on Lily.
"How is she?" James asked as the healer sent Lily on to recovery. The healer came over to James and patted him on the shoulder.
"She's going to be alright," the healer said.
"What happened?" James asked.
"We think that the fall caused a tear in the placenta," the healer said.
"The placenta?" James asked.
"The protective sac around the babies," the healer explained. "It tore and she bled out enough in her uterus, spreading the tear until her water broke completely and you brought her here. Had you waited even half an hour longer she would have died."
"If we had brought her in sooner, could we have saved the babies?" James asked. The healer looked at him, sympathetically.
"Son, I have to be honest with you, I don't know," the healer said. "I would have to say though, it is highly unlikely. Sometimes, it is not meant to be, and while it doesn't make your loss any less, we were able to preserve her fertility. The next few weeks will be the hardest for her."
"Thank you," James said.
"She should have an opportunity to hold the babies," the healer said. "We find the mothers who lose babies cope better having had the opportunity to spend some time with them."
"May I bring my friends back to see the babies?" James said. "They're practically our family."
"Sure," the healer said nodding.
James headed down the hall, still covered in blood from the birth. He headed to the waiting room, surprised to see more than the Marauders, Alice, and Frank. His parents were there, several of the professors from school, and others were standing and sitting around. They all looked up in shock, and James glanced down at the clothes, seeing that he probably should have cleaned up before getting them.
"James?" Alice asked quietly. James walked straight into Sirius' arms, crying without shame.
"The babies didn't make it," James cried. Sirius held him tight, being the strength James needed right there.
Sometime later, James headed in to see Lily. She was fully awake now, holding the babies alone in her room. She was peering into their little faces, tears slipping down her face. James had changed, not wanting her to see him covered in her blood. He sat down in the small chair next to her bed. She looked up at him.
"I'm sorry," Lily said wiping her eyes.
"It's not your fault," James said. Lily shook her head.
"I pushed for us to extend our vacation. I pushed for us to go to Africa," she said. James shook his head.
"That doesn't make it your fault," James said. "Look, I hope you don't mind, but my parents want to have the babies buried in the Potter family plot."
"I don't mind," Lily said as she begun to cry, her tears rushing down her cheeks and splashing onto the tiny babies. "They are, after all, Potters."
"Thank you, Lily," James said as he wiped away his own tears.
"They're so tiny," Lily said. James nodded.
"Hannah Marie was the biggest," James said. "She was almost twenty-seven centimeters tall and a little heavier than a soda can. Cristina Anne was the smallest. She's only twenty-five and a half centimeters tall, and lighter than a soda can."
"You named them?" Lily asked sniffling. James nodded.
"Alice told me that she had told you those names, and they seemed perfect," James said. Lily nodded.
"I love those names," Lily said.
The two parents sat alone for a few hours with their babies before handing them over to the healers. Lily turned her head, crying into James' arms, as the healers took the babies away for preparation. The next time Lily saw her babies was on the day they were buried.
"Thank you, James, for putting them together," Lily said as she stood weakly next to him to say good-bye to that chapter of their lives. She planted a kiss on each girls' head and closed the casket.
"I just thought that our daughters shouldn't have to be alone," James said quietly. "So I opted to have them placed together in the same casket. The thought of them being separated broke my heart."
"Thank you," Lily said. She wrapped her arms around James, tears spilling down her cheeks. "I don't know what I would have done if I had to do this alone."
"I love you," James whispered. "No matter what, I will always love you. I would never make you do this alone. You are still the mother of my children."
"And you are still the father," Lily sniffed as she wiped her eyes with her hands.
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