Unofficial Portkey Archive

Tag: Humor

Showing page 12 of 28.

  1. The Game by cpt_slog

    A very quick one shot that takes place soon after H/Hr finish school. Needless to say the problem of a Dark Wizard is long gone.

  2. Out of Hogwarts by Snidget_And_Co

    It's been almost nine years since they graduated from Hogwarts School Of Witchcraft And Wizardry. Now they are in the real world, dealing with the biggest obstacle they ever met: Life. Join them, and see how they deal with it all, in their own funny way. Will they succeed in their mission? You would have to read to find out.

  3. I'm Not Neurotic! The Diary of Hermione Granger by Hermione_Crookshanks

    AU. Now a Seventh Year and Head Girl, Hermione relays her life in the diary given to her by Harry: from Harry sneaking into her bathroom (and just acting altogether odd), Head Girl duties, NEWTs, and hormones, to Ginny setting Hermione up in hopes of making her less neurotic, Hermione's life is slowly slipping out of her control. Excerpt from chapter 21, the epilogue: Harry took it from me and began flipping through the pages. A smile played onto his lips until he finally burst out in laughter. “What?” I demanded immediately. “What’s so funny?” “‘While I’m at it,’” he read from the diary, “‘convince the three mentioned above that I am not neurotic.’” “What’s so funny about that?” I asked him. “You are neurotic,” he told me. “That’s what’s so funny. You couldn’t have disproved them if you tried.” “I could too!” I insisted, rather insulted. “No you couldn’t,” came Hailey’s voice as she passed by the room, carrying Hogwarts, A History in her arms. COMPLETED. Thanks to everyone who read! It's been an amazing ride. :-)

  4. Of Grocers and Leprechauns by pumpkintoasty

    Harry and Hermione get some groceries, get dressed up and get it on. Yes, they do. Though that's only implied. V. fluffy. Post-Hogwarts.

  5. The Only Girl by Bingblot

    AU 4th year. Harry decides his best hope of surviving the Yule Ball is to ask Hermione-- and everything goes on from there... The Yule Ball the way it should have gone.

  6. A Fractured Fairy Tale by E. C. R. Potter

    Draco as Prince Charming? Hedwig an expert at Raptor Martial Arts? Snape in Bunny Slippers? Has the world lost its mind? Well, where else are you going to find Ron and Neville singing ‘Livin’ La Vida Loca’? Read and find out in this Shrek/Shrek 2 inspired parody featuring everything from the Death Eater Mafia to the Marauders Rock band. Featuring several ships including H/Hr (of course), R/LL, L/J, D/anything in a skirt, and H/C (though not the one everybody thinks).

  7. Helping Heads by Marauding Savior

    Remus and Sirius overhear Lily and James having some... trouble upstairs.

  8. Mags and Shags by BeaumontRulz

    “Oh bite me,” she said, poking her tongue out at him. “Okay,” he said cheekily, leaning forward and attaching his lips and teeth to her neck... Another silly oneshot, hopefully humorous. Please read and review!

  9. Fill Me In by BeaumontRulz

    “Harry, I thought I told you not to put that in there,” he suddenly heard Hermione’s voice say. Ron stopped in his tracks and his mouth dropped open. He looked at the closed hangings of Harry’s bed with wide eyes... A terribly silly oneshot... please read and review!

  10. Temporary Insanity by BeaumontRulz

    Hermione really did like studying. If she didn't study, then her mind would be filled with worry about what she didn't know about her subjects. What she didn't like was being disturbed. Harry disturbs her... and she goes temporarily insane. Oneshot!

  11. Confession in an Echo by jardyn39

    Hermione, finding herself suddenly and unexpectedly alone on her birthday, is pleasantly surprised when Harry turns up. Having spent so long fruitlessly trying to persuade him to think about a career, it comes as something of a shock to learn that he has secretly gained respectable employment. Harry also seems intent upon telling her something more, but perhaps his birthday gift will only serve to remind her of something lost. Post Hogwarts.

  12. Everything by BeaumontRulz

    “So I walked in on him… thinking about me?” she asked, her eyes widening. “I suspect. You said he was doing a lot more than thinking…” Ron said, beginning to smirk. Three chapters long... please R&R!

  13. Life with the Dursleys by madhu893

    THIS IS NO RELATIONSHIP! not lily/james or anything! I've always imagined what Harry's first 11 years with the Dursleys was like. Don't you? somewhat AU because i make up a lot of the info.

  14. Study Break by madscientist

    This is a touch of PWP in the Harry Potter and the Lions of Gryffindor Universe. It does answer one question that came up in reviews. Have fun.

  15. Hard Day - Harder Night: Still Night of the 'Night Before' by Island Girl

    Part three of the Hard Day - Harder Night series... Waking up hard has its own rewards... Excerpt: Keep your eyes closed and your head turned to the side. If you don’t look at him, you still have a chance at denying that this ever happened – you never saw a thing. Above all else – DON’T PUKE! PLEASE! Review!

  16. Pheromone, My Lovely by Cherry

    She crossed her legs, letting her skirt ride up quite a bit. She dangled her legs slightly. “Oh, Harry…” she said in a singsong voice. “Hmm?” Harry muttered, his eyes never leaving his parchment. “Just a moment Hermione, I-” His voice died as he noticed the very visible leg. He looked up, his eyes wide.

  17. Drop in the Ocean by Amynoelle

    Alternate Universe—Following the defeat of Lord Voldemort, Harry Potter disappeared from sight. He keeps in contact with a few select friends, but only in letters. For the past five years, he’s lived on a private island, living a life of peace and anonymity. Meanwhile in London, Hermione Granger’s life isn’t going as she planned. Her job is stressing her out and she isn’t sure she’s in love with her boyfriend. When the pressures of her job get to be too much, her boss suggests she take a few months off. This, of course, will lead her to a private island where she just may find all that she’s ever wanted.

  18. House Elf Holidays by Br0ken.Dolly.x

    Now you see normally Draco would hate the fact House Elves have Holidays these days, but his red haired girlfriend and a certain set of blue lingerie seemed to change his opinion somewhat. . .OneShot

  19. Ice Cream Queen by Br0ken.Dolly.x

    Ginny has a little addiction for a certain frozen dessert. What happens after she's battled through brothers, Peeves and one of Luna's ramblings only to find. . .[OneShot]

  20. The Not-So-Common Cold by Br0ken.Dolly.x

    It's the day after the Christmas party, an Ginny's got a cold...but who gave her that...and why won't she tell her friends. . .? OneShot. T'is my attempt at humour. Ooh-er.

  21. Stuck on You by BeaumontRulz

    Harry plus Charms equals disaster. Hermione offers to help him perfect the charm. And it's thanks to this charm that Hermione can scarcely think of anything other than Harry... oneshot

  22. The Special Two by BeaumontRulz

    Hermione was completely and utterly convinced that she was supposed to stay friends with her best friends. Ron was the idiot. He would copy her homework and attempt to protect her from sleazy arseholes. Harry was the hero, who would rather ask for help than copy her. And he was the one who really protected her. He was the saviour of the world and no one, not even the Slytherins, dared to mess with his Hermione. Oneshot!

  23. Lightning and Thunder by BeaumontRulz

    She hated thunderstorms. With a passion. They were just so dreary and depressing and frightening. She preferred starry nights with a full and beautiful moon. It was just so much more beautiful and romantic. So much quieter. There was another loud boom and Hermione whimpered again, biting her bottom lip. She was now debating with herself whether or not she should leave the comfort of her warm bed and go up to the comfort of her warm Harry...

  24. I Could Have Read All Night by BeaumontRulz

    He looked back down at the book, ignoring her protests now. He suddenly grinned again and looked up at Hermione, almost disbelievingly. “’Slowly, voluptuously, he worked her lips apart, and her protests died away as he probed her mouth deeply with his tongue’. My dear Hermione, I had no idea you read this sort of thing!” he said in mock outrage, laughing softly as she began to struggle again. Oneshot!

  25. You Set Me Free by BeaumontRulz

    Hermione says something that can be open to interpretation... Harry immediately takes it to mean something rather naughty. Involves interesting dreams... oneshot!

  26. Potter the Poet by canoncansodoff

    Harry engages Ron in a poetry slam....guess which one comes up with the limericks.

  27. Too Close For Comfort by BeaumontRulz

    When Hermione finds her boyfriend cheating, who is there to make her feel better and offer her shelter? Hopefully humorous...

  28. A Little Crazy by padfoot_puppyeyes

    Harry Potter always has been, and probably always would be, a little crazy. But maybe, Hermione thinks, she's a little crazy too. And maybe that's not such a bad thing....ONESHOT!

  29. Rock and Roll Queen by Ada_Achlys

    Some light dusting, heavy spying, inappropriate sniffing, and . . . a rock ballad? Things are going to get very weird when Ginny and Hermione, super spies extraordinaire, take jobs as maids at Malfoy Manor!

  30. Through With Love by danfan4ever

    My response to Soldierette's challenge, "Through With Love". Hermione gets her heart broken, so she decides to avoid that happening again she is through with love. Rating just to be safe. Sorry, I'm horrible with summaries. One Shot

  31. The Talk by PHQ2004

    AU it started out as a quiet sunday afteroon...ONESHOT

  32. Cupid's Little Helper by moogle

    Anonymous love letters, confusion and snogging. All is happening in the Ministry of Magic, caused by a very bored ministry worker.

  33. Reflections by MeiQueen

    Follows Lily and James through Hogwarts, told from Lily's PoV.

  34. Rainbow Thoughts by Mischief Managed

    This switches on and off from Lily's and James's POV. Lily is not your ordinary red-haired, green-eyed, fiery-tempered witch. Oh, no. She has a secret, which shows how she views people. But she soon discovers another secret, one she shares with her new friend James. Together they go to Hogwarts, and as their secret strengthens, Lily is finding it harder and harder to conceal her other one. This will be a few chapters, and will have one sequel. Ch. 1 (The other was the Prologue) is up.

  35. Turning Words Into Action by canoncansodoff

    Harry and Hermione get more than they initially bargained for when they employ flirtation as grief therapy.

  36. Harry Potter and the Prime Minister of England by ladylaughalot

    Just a snippet that I wrote and wanted to share. Title is self explanatory.

  37. Sirius and James by madhu893

    This is the life with the marauders. Spanning all seven years of hogwarts. James and Sirius are cunning, handsome, mischievious, hearbroken and loved. In their seventh year, will they be able to say the three most heart-aching words in the universe? Young love, some lust, and truly Idiotic Best Friends. ADDED: Chapter 7 is up! What's Lily's secret? ( Rated PG-13 for humor in later chapters.. )

  38. Ain't No Mountain High Enough by MissLexi

    Ah, what we do for love!

  39. I'll Be by MissLexi

    Ron tries to get the girl - with a little help from his friends... R/L, H/HR, and a touch of D/G.

  40. Bet you can't by ladylaughalot

    An argument, a night spent alone and an deap and meaningful conversation help Harry to understand what Dumbledore was trying to tell him.

  41. Sharing among Friends by madscientist

    This little ficlet is set somewhere between chapters 33 and 39 in Harry Potter and the Circle’s End. http://fanfiction.portkey.org/story/4941/ It started out as another interlude in the spinoff series of Ron and Luna based cookies Without Supervision, http://fanfiction.portkey.org/story/6004/ which are set in the “off camera” scenes of that main book. But this cookie grew to a one shot, so here it is. It’s posted as a R/LL fic because Ron and Luna get more conversation, but both couples are definitely in here

  42. Going Once, Going Twice and In Love by Tania

    ALTERNATIVE UNIVERSE Story. Lily moves to London to start her new job. But the first night in her new flat is a disaster. Her neighbor plays piano at 3:30 in the morning! And her new colleague is... very sexy! R&R

  43. 'Harry, you prat' by Croyez

    How a mistake from Harry brings him to see that he actually does kind of like the idea of him and Hermione. - “I mean…I don’t feel the way you think I do about what you said. It was odd—and a shock—but then I thought about it and…well, it just felt…right. I—argh…I don’t know how to explain it, but I just…sort of like the idea…of you and me…”

  44. Never Let a Ghost Fish Sneak Up on You by Amethyst

    When Luna asks Ron on a date and gets rejected, she confronts him about his feelings for Hermione.

  45. Take A Walk On The Wild Side by dumbles

    After seven years of worry about Voldemort (not to mention schoolwork!) Hermione Granger accepts a dare from Ron to take a walk on the wild side for one night. One-shot.

  46. Noticed by Searcy

    What happens when you finally look at what's been in front of your eyes all along?

  47. Harry Potter & the Terrible, Hideous, All Better Day by Lynney

    I lost the bet. The price was a one shot of Jazzy Georgie's choice. She came up with One of Them Under The Table. Not my usual style, and I'm utter pants at one shots... but here goes. Harry has a VERY bad day. Hermione makes it ALL better. Smutty Fluff. Enjoy! **ducks and runs**

  48. A Matter of Identity by ragdollangel

    A spell goes terribly wrong, leaving Ginny believing she is from another century. *last 3 chapters up* COMPLETED

  49. Hogwarts High by MichelleRadcliffe

    The students of Hogwarts have been informed that they are being temporarily transferred to muggle high schools. How will the pure-bloods adapt to muggle life? Will the trio be split up? Will Draco refuse to be in a room full of muggles? Find out!

  50. Nine Months by Favo de Mel

    Harry and Hermione are expecting; follow them through the whole of the process, because it's going to be nine months to remember! UPDATE! Baby names, a randy Hermione and loads more as Hermione decides she can't sleep... and so wakes a protesting Harry up.