Unofficial Portkey Archive

Tag: Humor

Showing page 13 of 28.

  1. Proofread by AnndeeGranger

    Harry has a document that Hermione needs to look over. Companion to "Cliche"

  2. As of Yet Untitled by Mstar

    This fic does have a title. A little L/J fluffy one-shot in which our favorite twosome get locked in a classroom (much to Lily's dismay). Enjoy.

  3. Revenge of the Squib by Ella Marie

    Sequel to Of Heartburn and Yellow Canaries. How far will the Squib go to get the happy ending she so desperately desires?

  4. Sans Armor by vea

    James has a plan. Everyone tells him it’s a bad idea. And it really is. He does it anyway. [one-shot]

  5. The Wonders of Lip Gloss by Sundari Harmony

    What is it with the lip gloss?

  6. How to Prank the Weasley Twins in Ten Days by Mstar

    A mysterious, certainly non-canon girl appears and whisks James and Sirius to the future, where they are to aid her in the pranking of Mssrs. Fred and George Weasley. However the offsping of Mssr. Potter is unaware of the presence of his father and godfather. Hilarity ensues as the two time-travelers attempt to complete their mission and as Harry begins to doubt his sanity. And really, what is up with Neville? I warn you- this fic is meant to be funny, and not to be taken seriously. If you do take it seriously, then you seriously need to rethink your priorities.

  7. Spicing It Up by Gaya Hriive

    Harry and Hermione are trying to spice up their love life so Hermione makes an apalling suggestion: No sex for two weeks. Can they do it? Well, not IT, but rather, NOT it? FINAL CHAPTER! WARNING: MENTION OF SEXUAL FANTASIES/SITUATIONS

  8. Marauder's Tale of Horror by Emmablk1

    You think you know the Marauders? Well, obviously you haven't read this yet...Now, in brand new color format(Colors not included) you can read the true story-from start to finish.

  9. Take It From Me, NEVER Interview Mr. Potter by lillyfan16

    Take if from Hermione Granger...NEVER interview Mr.Potter...AU

  10. A Dream is a Wish... by H_HrFan

    When Hermione makes a slip about a dream she had, Harry calls her on it…and fills in the blanks she refuses to share.

  11. Call out your name by SIRE_JAPE

    CONTAINS HBP SPOILERS Lily Evans was not an average 17 year old girl. For instance, she was a top student, had red hair, emerald green eyes and least ordinary, she was a witch currently attending Hogwarts school of witchcraft and wizardry. FINALLY I REPOSTED A NEW CHAPTER!!! ENJOY! HAPPY BELATED NEW YEARS!

  12. When your whole world fits inside of your arms by katediggory

    A short fic based on Jack Johnson lyrics. Harry/Hermione, and as mushy and hopelessly romantic as possible. Please read and review.

  13. Hopelessly by Amethyst

    Nothing like snogging in a linen cupboard on Valentine’s Day, eh? One-shot.

  14. House Elf Holiday by t a s H a_x

    Now you see normally Draco would hate the fact House Elves have Holidays now, but his red haired girlfriend and a certain set of blue lingerie seemed to change his opinion somewhat. . .

    This story has missing or damaged chapters. If you have a link to this story on another site or a saved copy please contact admin@portkey-archive.org or /u/pk-archive on Reddit.

  15. Realizing by Croyez

    Told from Ron's point of view - "And it’s the way they act, the way they sit so closely together, both squinting down at the writing on the page, arms brushing each other’s…Like they don’t notice at all. Like it’s just normal. Like everything’s the same."

  16. Good Enough by siutou_amy

    It's been a few years since Harry Potter defeated You-Know-Who, and Harry's changed. Being a ladies man, mistaking love for sex - Harry leads a life that lacks meaning with girlfriend, Andrea. Whilst, Hermione is having a relationship to try to move on, but will discover something about Tim, her boyfriend, that will make her doubt.

  17. Just Another Job by jms granger

    Joel Fielding – In his head he’s living like his spy novels, battling the rise of the Death Eaters. In reality he's a man who accidentally ends up working for Lord Voldemort against the Order of the Phoenix. Sophie Wolfe – Pretty, talented and slightly nuts, also working for the Dark Lord. Mr. Pettigrew – Balding. Follow Joel through his first year out of his anonymity of Hogwarts and into the high pressure stakes of his new 'career'. But when will he realize the truth? That this isn’t just another job…

  18. The Not So Secret Diary of Lily Evans by Kitastrophy

    Lily Evans is a self-controlled witch with utter-most respect for all those around her. That is until James Potter walks into the room, of course. When James steals Lily's very most secret diary, can he win her over just by reading it? And when the truth comes out, will Lily wish it never happened?

  19. Shh, don't tell them that 'I do' by Rachel A. Prongs

    Based on a Challenge (http://talk.portkey.org/index.php?showtopic=12201) by Mycha_kk. Harry and Hermione got married in secret - what if the secret got out? Not OotP or HBP compliant.

  20. Obsessive Lily Disorder by Procrastinator-starting2moro

    James worships the ground Lily, er, throws him on? The story includes James Potter stalking, heavy doses of Polyjuice potion, never-ending Marauder rambling about women’s boobies, and Prongs suicidal acts such as drowning in toilet bowls because Apple Of His Eye Evans hates his guts. Or does she? It all started when the marauders spied on Lily from the bloom closet...

  21. Lily by Secret Lily

    Lily Evans is not the sort of girl who would normally be found writing in a diary. Yet, when she starts, she finds that the easiest way to overcome all the obstacles in life is to let her emotions out onto paper.

  22. No Rain by Secret Lily

    The prequel to Potter's Charm. Join Marauders and co. through their crazy years at Hogwarts. Fun, adventure, hormones, and Sirius are all the components to their interesting tale. Pre-HBP

  23. Kissing Frogs by J&M Ink.

    I see myself as a romantic. I’m not sure many other people do. I’m sure the only thing they think I can love is a book and I keep my eyes fixed firmly on the page I’m reading when one of the Greek gods of Hogwarts walks by. Who would seriously take the time to discover that I’m really a girl? Well, the school uniform doesn’t help my plight much, but that’s besides the point. I guess what I mean to say is I’m just as normal as the next girl and I want to be recognized as such. Unfortunately, life doesn’t always work out the way you want it to.

  24. The First Four Years by hermione278

    "It was ten o’clock in the morning, and William, Christine, and Lily were ready to put their plan into action. Christine had already been informed of the plan, and although she wasn’t one for pranks, she felt that it was high time that James was taught a lesson." Basically ths story takes you through the first four years that Lily and James are at Hogwarts.

  25. It's You by ChocolateFrogsForBreakfast

    Harry experiences mysterious symptoms, but, when he finally figures out the cause, Hermione's no help at all.

  26. Must Be Approved By Crookshanks by plumgirl

    EPILOGUE POSTED! Hermione maybe successful and thriving, but she still hears her biological clock ticking. Being one of the only few women her age to still be single. Hermione takes drastic measures that Crookshanks is determined against…

  27. Sodding Bloke by x0xJames_Potter

    James is a sodding bloke, according to Lily.

  28. Seduction Secrets by Alexus Dracius

    I APOLOGISE FOR THE MASSIVE DELAY ON THIS STORY, BUT A FEW COMPLICATIONS HAVE ARISEN AND IN BETWEEN FILMING, SCREENWRITING AND EDITING I HAVE LIMITED TIME TO DO ANYHTHING. FIC I POST UNTIL THE POINT WHERE I UPDATE THIS STORY WILL ALL BE SHORT AND SWEET. I'M SORRY! James Potter has had his eyes set upon the ‘gorgeous, yet fiery, red head’, Lily Evans for quite a while and has been bidding his time until he makes his move. Sirius Black, Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew believe that James has finally met his downfall with this girl, and insist that even with his ‘talent’, he could never in a million years get Lily Evans to sleep with him. However, James is adamant that, although it may be a slight challenge, he could tempt the lovely Lily into his four poster bed easily. Deciding to play James at his own vain game, Sirius, Remus and Peter offer James a little wager: he has to persuade Lily Evans, the most beautiful but virtuous girl in Hogwarts, to sleep with him by the end of their seventh year, otherwise he must swear upon the contents of his vault that he’ll never sleep with another girl until his post-nuptial hour; if he succeeds, however, they must never doubt his ‘incomparable flair at getting any girl he wants’ – as insisted upon by the typical James Potter. A tale of love, hate, lies, deception, pleasure and attraction – these are: Seduction Secrets.

  29. The Defining Moment by Mstar

    This is a story. A story of the year that changed history. A story of a romance that changed the fate of so many people. A story of how a boy changed into a man and got the girl (finally). This is a story of Lily Evans and James Potter. This is their seventh year.

  30. Stealing Sheep by Pittsy

    Lily's having disturbing dreams about arguing with and- ugh- kissing James Potter, of all people. She can't figure out why until one night one of her dreams come true. Are these premonitions of the future? Will she change fate or allow the inevitable to happen?

  31. And Baby Makes Three by Rainpuddle13

    Draco and Ginny embark on their next great adventure - parenthood. A series of related one-shots.

  32. Everything but the Kitchen Sink by moon_shadows

    Their search for the Horcruxes begins. Harry and Hermione find themselves stuck at a rundown hotel for the night. What—ahem—entertaining things will they get up to? A witherwings.net contest submission. H/Hr. One-shot.

  33. To Whom It May Concern by Gaya Hriive

    Thanks to a reader, here is Harry's letter to Hermione!

  34. Hermione's Day by Hysterical Hystorian

    Hermione has a bad day on her good day. Rated: Kid Safe!! A take-off on the delightful children's story "Alexander and the Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day."

  35. The Bed by Hysterical Hystorian

    When Harry moves in with Hermione they contemplate...the furniture?

  36. The 7 Signs of Madness by MexiChick

    There are some things that are easy to explain. Some things so much more simple. Unlike love. Love is a mystery people hide from because it is impossible to predict. And the trip there is...unbelieavbly insane. Draco and Ginny divulge the facts about this madness. Excerpt from ch. 8... [i]Mm-hmm. If you don’t want to talk about it that’s fine – really. You want to get something to eat?” Ginny found it frustrating that he wasn’t pressuring her to say something. Because she wanted him to press her for information, so she could vent and yell and scream. So he could tell her that Charlie was an idiot and that it was no way true. [/i]

  37. Warmth by Goldy

    "Harry didn’t think drinking with Hermione was really the best idea he’d ever had." Alcohol can have all sorts of effects.

  38. The Ice Dragon and the Flame Princess by Nokomis

    or, The Tumultuous Courtship of Draco Malfoy and Ginny Weasley: A Parody.

  39. A message in a firewhiskey bottle by Procrastinator-starting2moro

    Can a message in a bottle really help you find your true 'fish' partner in the 'sea' of solitary? Lily is put to the test when she receives a message in a firewhiskey bottle from across the Great Lake....LJ one shot.

  40. A Sure Cure for Loser's Lurgy by Herminia

    In the darkest days of the Second War, Ron and Luna have depended on each other's comfort and companionship, but Luna Lovegood hardly dared to believe that they would ever be any more than "just friends." This was written to accompany my Year Seven (H/Hr) fan fic, but it's not necessary to read that for this one-shot to make sense.

  41. Something Borrowed by Herminia

    Bill and Fleur's Wedding, Take One. With "spirits" flowing freely and stresses running high, will Harry finally see his best friend, Hermione, as something...more? My intent is for this fic to be a few chapters long. It's a different take from my Year Sevene piece, if you've read it.

  42. His Favorite Holiday by Bingblot

    He knew who he *wanted* his secret Valentine to be from, but it couldn't be... She didn't care about him that way... Fluffy one-shot.

  43. What He'd Never Done Before by Bingblot

    In which Hermione dances, Harry is jealous and over-protective and blurts something out which he hadn't meant to say. One-shot.

  44. Kissing Lessons for the Beginner by Amethyst

    Harry needs to learn how to kiss. Who do you think might be kind enough to instruct him? -- chapter seven: Harry finally begins to understand his confusing, female best friend. Note: Chapter seven is the only NC-17 chapter. If you'd like to read a PG-13 version, skip to chapter eight.

  45. The Restlessness of Time by Hysterical Hystorian

    Harry reaches his 50th birthday. Hermione helps him forget the horror. Smut with a bit of plot--kids, a dog, and a dash of humour.

  46. Naturally by Jersey Princess

    (Not really L/J but oh well, it's an R/S). Sirius should have listened to Remus when he said that drugs were bad. Now there are purple bunnies with wings, angels juggling LSD bottles, and Voldemort—yes, Voldemort—wants Sirius to kiss him. Sirius only has one word: AAAAARGH!! AU Parody Very short (4 pages)

  47. Quidditch Baby by LadyGinevraMalfoy

    Draco gives up things to be with his Ginny. In the process he gains more than he ever thought he could have. Sweet, long One Shot

  48. Loving Him, Losing Her by lillyfan16

    AU...Hermione Granger is out to prove she can get any straight-good looking guy to fall for her in 10 days after making a bet with Cho and Luna...While Harry Potter on the other hand is sick and tired of girls falling all over him just because he has a famous father. So he has decided the next girl that ask him out will indeed become his girl friend and he will do everything in his power to make her hate him.... What happens when she's trying to get him to love her while he's trying to get her to lose him? -Based loosely on How To Lose a Guy In 10 Days!

  49. The Sugar Quills by Heimedall

    After School has ended and a lot of the students have joined the Order of the Phoenix, Harry is led to Voldemort by mistake and trapped. Harry's friends have to do strange things to get him back. (First Fic, just for fun!!)

  50. Everything's Fair in Love and War by bluemoon

    Moaning Myrtle has a secret... but then Hermione does too. And then, one day when Hermione is misrable and goes to Myrtle (knowing that she is one person who will never crash a pity party)... well... everything explodes....