Unofficial Portkey Archive

Tag: Humor

Showing page 16 of 28.

  1. The Worst Laid Plans by Amethyst and Goldy

    Thanks to the lethal combination of Snape and a powerful potion, poor Hermione has been forced to reveal her dearest secret in class. What's that, you say? Repercussions? Yes, definitely.

  2. Of Strippers And Misunderstandings by Stietoe

    So much of the mystery has already been spoiled with the hints in the title... So without further ado: ENJOY! Based on a challenge (see inside)

  3. The Panther by Ael L. Bolt

    [LostEboni's "Bodyguard" challenge] In the summer before 7th year, Hermione is in danger from Voldemort and his Death Eaters. Charlie gives her a panther to take care of for the summer, but what she doesn’t know is that the panther is an Animagus there to watch over her and keep her safe from harm. And if only she knew who the Animagus really was...

  4. Books by Pittsy

    She loves diving into a good one. He hates them with a fiery vengeance.

  5. Pink Poison and Violet Venom by Jersey Princess

    No spoilers! In a battle of wits, eight girls arrange a competition--the freedom to ask out the Marauder of their choice if they win, with no loopholes and no opposition. It’s a girl on girl fight, and the boys are completely oblivious. LJ MP XR KS Features a nice Peter and lots of ridiculous events.

  6. Gryffindor Sixth Year Follies by uvagirl

    Hermione has been full of "wonderful ideas" this year, and she's just had her best one yet. But, how does she get a reluctant Harry to participate? Warnings for sexual innuendo, very off-color jokes, and erotic action a hair's breadth from outright smut. From Chapter Two on, Harry & Ron will do standup comedy and the Gryffindor sixth year class will perform an old-fashioned burlesque/vaudeville sketch! Final chapter now uploaded - Aftermath of the show, including Draco/Snape bashing AND actual HHr NC17 sex! Please enjoy! ----------- ADDED BY FIC CO-ADMIN (gal-texter) in 2008: Please read this: http://talk.portkey.org/index.php?s=&showtopic=14633&view=findpost&p=237718

  7. Project Getting Her To Notice Me by Jersey Princess

    With all the stalker-qualities of a murderer, James decides to follow around his beloved until she notices him. However unlikely this feat may seem, James’s annoying best friends and the snake he finds in the pet shop are always there to give him their support…in not exactly the best ways. AU LJ

  8. Maybe Baby by mysterium26

    Epilogue up! Okay, THIS is seriously the final chapter! Independent, unattached Hermione discovers a gaping hole in her carefully constructed plan for Life. In typical Hermione fashion, she attempts to rectify the problem, but instead finds out what she's been truly missing after all. Reviews greatly appreciated!

  9. Melted by GracieInGreek

    "Considering this is the sixtieth time you haven't been able to find the correct key for the correct lock--which, by the way, works out to twice every day for the last month--and considering that none of those times have resulted in some sort of Dark-Wizard infiltration, I think it's safe to conclude that the door has simply whooped your arse. ...Again."

  10. Make Like Strangers - Hermione's Secret by Make Like Strangers

    Harry discovers a secret that Hermione's been hiding from him. The question is...what's he going to do about it?

  11. ...Then One Day, She Wasn't in Her World at All by Cherry

    New house, new neighborhood... No wonder I hate moving. But guess what? I actually think I'll enjoy living here...

  12. Stupid Boys by Pittsy

    This is a story about a boy, the girl he didn't know he loved and the prat who made it all happen. A classic tale of true love, true hate and truly stupid boys.

  13. All cats are grey by night by Tania

    James has an encounter with a mysterious girl. And he is sure he never met her before. Do you think that's true? Thank you to all who wrote a review!

  14. Bittersweet by Marauding Moonbabe

    James and Lily's seventh year is full of sorrow,but there is medicine. *preview of a scene to come* James said, "My mum once said, 'Live well, laugh often, love much', but it's so hard to do that alone." Lily replied," You don't have to do it alone, because I'm here now."

  15. It's In the Way You Know Me by Bingblot

    In which Hermione reads, Harry is distracted, and Harry distracts Hermione in a very... pleasant manner... Fluff, smut and maybe a drive-by mention of plot. One-shot SWS.

  16. I Hope by AnndeeGranger

    Albus Dumbledore reflects on his hopes for the future. H/Hr implied. Book Six spoilers.

  17. Cliche by AnndeeGranger

    Harry responds to one of Hermione's requests on her birthday, prompting him to abruptly reveal his feelings for her. Hermione does not respond as expected.

  18. The Ultimate Bet: Higher Stakes (You Shouldn't Gamble With F by RoseLibs

    Don't place bets, guys. It only leads to love... Lily and James both have bets going to see if they can get the other to either sleep with them or get the other to fall in love. So what happens when they turn the bets a bit? You shouldn't gamble with Fate... (Co-written by Amanda and Natali)

  19. Harry Potter and the Half-Arsed Pinch by uvagirl

    Everyone seems to have commented on HBP, except for Harry himself! Chapter One is a first person, way-over-the-top parody of parts of HBP, so expect OOC-ness, or maybe not, depending upon how strong your feelings are. Warnings are given, and should be heeded, for smut, profanity, really excessive vulgarity, always-popular gratuitous Slytherin/Draco-bashing, and other nastiness. Chapter 2 (conclusion) Much more Hermione, more humor, and a LOT of tears! ----------- ADDED BY FIC CO-ADMIN (gal-texter) in 2008: Please read this: http://talk.portkey.org/index.php?s=&showtopic=14633&view=findpost&p=237718

  20. The Scream Heard Round the World by Gaya Hriive

    Very heated scene between Harry and Hermione. Rated for mild violence and intense sexual scenes. part one of two.

  21. Crash and Burn by Placid Destruction

    One-shot. Because James Potter is such a good friend, he gives his best friend three chances to get Lily Evans to see him for who he really is. Good idea? Probably not. Sirius Black looks back on his failed attempts to help his best friend get the girl of his dreams.

  22. The List by ickle voldykins

    Harry finds himself reading a list of very personal thoughts written by a friend that he just knows he shouldn't have found.

  23. Like Rippled Forkstits and Quivell Suponats by Magical Poof

    "I think they'd look adorable together. Like Rippled Forkstits and Quivell Suponats. But I suppose I could be wrong. Maybe they don’t like each other in that way. People have always called me delusional or crazy" Luna contemplates the relationship of our heros... And other random stuff...

  24. This Lullaby by Secret Lily

    Lily Evans has always pushed guys away, keeping her distance away from heartbreak. If she never got too attatched, she would never get hurt. Yet, James Potter refuses to be pushed away. Will he be the one to actually tear down Lily's walls that separate them?

  25. Potter's Charm by Secret Lily

    Lily thinks herself too clever to fall for James Potters charm. Yet, as the two of them are appointed Head Boy and Girl, will Lily regret her negative feelings towards James?

  26. Dense by jennay

    God, she loved him when he was being dense.

  27. Believe by RogueBHS

    After the defeat of Voldemort, Harry decides to let people know what he thinks about heros, and what he believes. H/Hr friendship mostly...One shot...I think.

  28. Procrastionation by padfoot_puppyeyes

    Hermione's been putting off that Astronamy essay for much too long, but when she sees Harry by the astronamy tower...well, another night can't hurt, can it?

  29. (Attempting to) Get it Right by FieryStar90

    Companion to "Getting it Right". Draco discovers the mugglenet interview. Excerpt: “EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW WITH J.K. ROWLING: PART TWO” By: Emerson and Melissa. Ginny and…. Scarhead? By god, again? And to think, he had been having a good day, too.

  30. Of Heartburn and Yellow Canaries by Ella Marie

    16 July 2005, what was supposed to be a day of celebration, turns into anything but. Ron is coming on to anything that moves, Hermione's plan fails, and a certain book leaves a bad taste in Harry's mouth.

  31. A Helping Hand by Croyez

    One Shot -- When Ron asks Harry for advice and help with Hermione, Harry finds that perhaps his feelings towards his brown-eyed, bushy haired friend aren’t all that platonic after all... Re-Uploaded with changes to the ending! It's loads better now.

  32. Identity by frecklednproud

    Lily Evans is quite an ordinary girl with an extraordinary secret. Unbeknown to her fellow Hogwarts students, Lily is a member of The Imps, the biggest rock sensation in the wizarding world. Join Lily on her quest for love, friendship, and identity. AU.

  33. Rendezvous by the Lake by Placid Destruction

    Sitting in front of the Hogwarts lake was an eleven-year-old redhead. James was immediately intrigued by her. Six years later, he was just as intrigued, if not more. The two of them spent quite some time by that lake. They fought, they laughed, they fell in love. This story takes you through their seven years of rendezvous by the lake.

  34. Believe in the Delusional by harryherm84

    Being delusional isn't all that bad...

  35. H/Hr Fics: A Parody by Jack Ryan

    NEW CHAPTER UP! Some HBP riffs included in this new one...Just a very humorous parody of H/Hr fics; inspired by Oy! Angie's Snogwarts: A Parody.

  36. If You Believe by DiezeL

    Hermione has asked Harry to grant her a very "special" favor. Apparently, Harry's the only one who can do it for her. No one else will do. Rating may go up later. The real Chapter 7 added!

  37. Caught Redheaded by a muggle named Caity

    Ron has been acting strange lately, always running off to places no one knows of; Harry is determined to find out. Seventh Year - Hogwarts. One-shot. PWP. Harry’s POV.

  38. Music of the Heart by chrisfaithalin

    A five part songfic where Harry and Hermione sing songs at the local karaoke bar and through heartache and breakups everything leads them to being together. Plot is hard to explain, look inisde for a better summery and more info about the story.

  39. What. An. Idiot. by Renaiya880727

    RESUBMITTED WITH MINOR CHANGES FOR COMPETITION!!! Written to answer the question I'm sure we all have: "What happened to Hermione in book six?" Better than it sounds, please R&R!

  40. It's Always Been There by Croyez

    Hermione realizes who she's loved all along. One-Shot

  41. The Married Life by chrisfaithalin

    After not seeing each other for many years Hermione auror comes to Harry dada teacher in need of help. She needs Harry to marry her and Harry agrees. Can their fake romance become real?

  42. Our One Hope is This... by kronos2785

    Hermione is arriving on Azkaban Isle to meet Harry after five years. Why was Harry put in prison. Why is Hermione meeting him if he's a criminal?

  43. Things Could Get Better by H_HrFan

    Harry and Hermione discover a hidden truth two weeks after Ron moves out of the flat the trio share...on the first night they actually get to spend together.

  44. Hermione's Hologems by Feron

    AU# Summary: The act of Wizarding paparazzi including the wits of Rita Skeeter test the patience of Hermione Granger and Harry Potter. Are they a victim of another clichéd scandal?Some ref to book 6. Nothing major.

  45. Seven Minutes in Heaven by Thats So Raven

    Seven Minutes in Heaven. Ginny & Draco locked in a closet all thanks to Blaise Zabini, what more is there to say? -- Done for a challenge, please R & R! [One Shot]

  46. That Fateful Game of Twister by Gaya Hriive

    Just a funny little one shot. PWP. Harry and Hermione have fun playing 'Twister.'

  47. A Pebble in the Stream of Time by Thalia Alasse

    Lily and James Potter have been married for two years; their son is only *slightly* more mischievous than most. The three live in as much happiness as a pair of Aurors in the Order of the Phoenix can during the Resistance against Lord Voldemort. Principle of the iceberg. Read carefully!

  48. Secretive by NatiFcs28

    One fine night at a London pub, a few friends from Hogwarts get together. The girls go off on how handsome Harry’s become, and question Hermione on why she hasn’t taken advantage of this situation. She shrugs it off, but goes home to do something completely different. Fluffy, smutty, NC-17 (cursing and smut), plan on one-shot, might add another chapter at the end. Small plot.

  49. Mission of Mercy by kyc639

    In seventh year, Hermione and Ron are fighting worse than ever, and Harry's called upon to fix things.

  50. Girl Boy by Tiffr

    The only thing Hermione Granger wanted was love. Of course, she had many other complaints...a lousy job, a pathetic boyfriend, just to name a few. Well, after she blurts out all of her secrets to an anonymous man on an airplane during turbulence, she doesn't think life can get any worse. However, when that man happens to be her company's founder and her new boss, Mr. Harry Potter, she may find that life doesn't necessarily get worse and that maybe, she can find love in unexpected places. AU. H/Hr, D/G