Unofficial Portkey Archive

Tag: Humor

Showing page 19 of 28.

  1. A Map of Good Intentions by Suzanne of Dragons Breath

    “I can’t believe I’m talking to an inanimate object.” Hermione muttered under her breath. Apparently the map heard. “Mr. Padfoot does not appreciate being referred to as an inanimate object.”

  2. Make Like Strangers - Part 2 by Make Like Strangers

    This is Part 2 of the Series entitled "It Can't All be About Sex, can It?" Harry has a lunch date with Sandra, and Hermione gets an offer from Luna she just can't refuse.

  3. Cabin fever and rock gigs by IamHermione

    Ron, Ginny and Luna are stuck in Grimmauld place for a bit too long. Hermione joins them and they all go to visit Harry. With the state Hermione finds the others in, she fears for Harry's sanity. She gets quite a shock. You'll get quite a shock if you read this. At least read the A/N inside. It's a laugh, at the least. Enjoy. (R/L also)

  4. Good Enough to Eat by Anne U

    During 7th year, Harry is alone and sore in the locker room after a game. Hermione does her best to make him feel better.

  5. 1001 Hogwarts Nights: Ballads and Barks by Max

    Hermione inspires Harry to do something he has never done before, while Harry inspires Hermione's more mischievius side. One shot.

  6. Harry Potter and the Chat-Up Potion by ladysmith

    Harry has taken Hermione's ideas to heart and formulated a Clever Plan to woo his one true love.

  7. Wer Bist Du? (Who are you?) by ExcaliburAnduril

    This is a song I found by the Austrian group Papermoon. I thought that it would make a decent story. I hope you enjoy it. Please R&R!

  8. Make Like Strangers - Part 1 by Make Like Strangers

    This is Part 1 of the Make Like Strangers series entitled "Cut! and Action!" Harry and Hermione are starring in a movie. And after taking a break from shooting for the day, Hermione decides they need some rehearsal time. Or do they?

  9. Hospital Blues by dream_boat

    Oh that Harry! He can really be daft sometimes! Hermione thought as she raced her way to the Hospital Wing. Of all things! Quidditch! Bursting through the door into the room, she immediately spotted Harry lounging on one of the small hospital beds, a wide grin on his face...

  10. Deja Vu by nerdypurdy

    [Post-Hogwarts, HHr] It's been eight years since they graduated from Hogwarts and things have definitely changed. Both of them created a new life for themselves and left their past behind. So what happens when they suddenly meet again? Draco/Ginny on the side.

  11. 1001 Hogwarts Nights: Most Valuable Potter by Max

    Harry gets his shot in competing in the 625th Quidditch World Cup. But when he faces an old rival, Harry learns that some grudges never go away. One shot.

  12. Love actually by Pheniox_Girl

    My take on the movie Love actually. Harry is Minister of Magic and Hermione's his political advisor. Ron and Luna are happily married. Or are they? And Draco and Ginny... in love?? *main focus will be H/Hr*

  13. Rumors by Jess2425

    Lavender starts a rumor about the trio. See how they deal. Please READ and REVIEW!! My first fic on portkey! Chapter Seven's been fixed! *Now Complete*

  14. Summer Discoveries by Ruddy_Brilliant

    Harry and Hermione go to spend the summer at Ron's house after 5th year, and discover their love for each other. Plot bunny bunny bunny.

  15. Ron & Luna: A Musicology by RowlingIdol

    My couple pairing version of the summer after the 5th book. Ron and Luna discover what everyone else around them seems to have... Love.

  16. 1001 Hogwarts Nights: Proof in the Pumpkin Juice by Max

    Harry is having a hard time telling Hermione how he feels. But when he mysteriously falls ill before the Quidditch final, Hermione and Ron team up to find the culprit. Written pre-release of OoTP.

  17. Love Is Blind by Thats So Raven

    According to Ministry Laws a blind witch or wizard should never live alone. When Draco becomes blind because of an accident and a nurse comes to live with him, will love blossom? Or will Chaos ensue?

  18. Cake Mix by vinofaerie

    Hermione bakes a cake and Harry helps. And there is left over cake mix...

  19. Little Green Eyes by Epona

    When Ron mixes up his Age Potion with Harry's Pumpkin Juice, Harry gets turned into a five year old. What's going to happen to him now? Who's going to look after him? Guess it's left to Hermione again...

  20. An Unholy Alliance by Szaranea

    A chance encounter, archaic laws and really bad luck result in the attorneys Draco Malfoy and Ginny Weasley being partners. Everything is apparently, probably kind of going okay, surprisingly, until Ginny herself is being sued and Draco has to help her.

  21. Another Way to Die by annakae

    **COMPLETED!** One day, Hermione starts acting very strange. Suddenly she begins to fancy Malfoy, enjoys skipping around the Great Hall, is being abnormally polite to Ron, is skipping classes, and absolutely hates Harry Potter. Harry has his suspicions but, overall, he's very lost and confused.

  22. The Reasons for Dating by Bingblot

    Harry decides Hermione needs a boyfriend. Ron plots. And Harry realizes that sometimes the best things in life are right in front of your eyes. *Now Complete*

  23. Lily In The Sky With Diagon Alleys by carondelet

    [completed; non-canonical; rating scaled back to PG-13] "You...berks should know better than to eat anything that Tonks has cooked up! Honestly! How thick can you be?"

  24. Diary of a Madman by RavenclawDrew

    It's the start of Harry’s sixth year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry and a new diary emerges to plague his existence. This time, it’s his own.

  25. Allergies and Anagrams by mysticdueler

    Okay, this is just some random pointless humorous fluff to tide people over. Rated for some minor swearing. Enjoy!

  26. The Great Pumpkin Folly by Me111

    Harry Potter hated pumpkins. With a burning passion. Why you may ask? Well, we’ll come to that point later.

  27. Havoc by siutou_amy

    What happens when one Potions' class goes really bad for Harry, and he ends up hearing women's thoughts? Based on "What Women Want", the movie starring Mel Gibson and Helent Hunt. This is my first story on Portkey, and I don't really know what's the rating. There's nothing explicit, but let's be sure by making it PG13 ;)

  28. Blood Ties by diggingupophelia

    Draco and Ginny experience a horrible day. Response to the lj 30 minute fic s community -- horrible day. No longer a one-shot, I've decided to expand... but I still think it is funny. Also Harry/Hermione ... R/R Rated R for language.

  29. The Importance of Buying Books by Goldy

    In which Harry has fear of rejection, Ron is strangely helpful in his unhelpfulness, and Hermione buys books. And now there's a sequel because happily ever after couldn't come *that* easily to Harry Potter, could it?

  30. Day by Day by JanieB

    Their years at Hogwarts are behind them, Hermione and Ron are living (separately!) in London and Harry has joined them after being at Hogwarts for some time following his defeat of Voldemort. Ron is now happily going out with Luna and Ginny is in love with Dean Thomas who is very supportive of her and her career. Career wise things look up for her when she's asked to interview a newly released inmate of Azkaban, Draco Malfoy. Harry and Hermione struggle with a friendship that is doomed to romance... A fun fic with a little touch of drama/angst and a tiny twist of mystery. The sequel to this story is "Four Weddings & A Funeral".

  31. CASTAWAYS by Dearg-Due

    CHAPTER II UP!!: "Out Of All People On Earth..." Harry and Ginny are spending their dream honeymoon in a luxurious five star cruise, where an irritating blonde is also travelling. When the ship wrecks and Ginny and Draco end up in a deserted island in the middle of the Caribbean, will they learn to live together? Will they survive? And is the island really deserted after all? Read to find out! R&R

  32. A Realization by dream_boat

    Hermione sat in the common room bent low over a badly dog-eared copy of Standard Book of Spells, Grade 7. However consuming the book was, she could not concentrate. She kept thinking about the kiss she had shared with her best friend the night before. Since fleeing to her dormitory immediately after, she had completely avoided both Harry and Ron all of the following day...

  33. Ban the Tube Top by OceanAvenue213

    slight OOC. Draco and Ginny have been dating for awhile. Imagine his surprise when, on one of their dates, she is wearing "that damned shirt". Ginny has to cope with going back to Hogwarts without her "precious little Drakiekins" and Draco has to deal with a loser, stalker, creepy ex-boyfriend of Ginny's. Throw a little of Blaise Zabini in there (cuz, heck, that kid writes himself) and you've got a story for Draco and Ginny that all can enjoy. **COMPLETED with Epilogue/Prologue COMING SOON**

  34. Sitting In A Scottish Dorm Room by carondelet

    [paused indefinitely]I am going to be a complete blouse and not give this to you, Lily. It's beyond embarrassing.

  35. Talk Dirty to Me by Inell

    Hermione has an unusual request for Harry one evening early in their relationship.

  36. Happy Now? by Inell

    Harry and Hermione settle into their new house following their marriage. Romantic smuff and my first H/Hr fic! *smile*

  37. The Visitor by catlove

    A ghostly Sirius gets to go back to #12 Grimmauld place for just an hour and learns that his godson is doing better after his death, with the help of Hermione Granger. But he doesn't just LEARN. He gives a few pointers, as well...

  38. Parchment Scroll Writer by carondelet

    [completed] “Bloody hell, Potter,” he said slowly, “this is...awful. Pathetic, really. I mean, just dreadful. Where in the hell did you learn to write like this?”

  39. The Hopefully Non-Magic Diary of Ginny Weasley by seven years

    Like every typical (or perhaps not so typical) teenager, Ginny needs a place to find solace from her every day life, consisting of mysterious and possibly deadly diary senders, pretentious snob Malfoy, and an overbearing brother called Ronald Weasley. Will she be able to find the perpetrator before Christmas day? D/G

  40. His Heart's Most Basic Desire by H_HrFan

    This is my response to Mycha_kk's fantastic 'My Angel' challenge. An ice sculpting competition is taking place at Hogwarts and Harry refuses to participate until he finds he has no choice as the time comes for him to discover his heart's most basic desire.

  41. The Crazy way It Ends by SlaptheWhiteFerret

    It's 7th year, and all is fair in love and war, or is it? A very fluffy journal told mainly from Hermione's POV. NEW: Final chapter from the future.

  42. The Challenge by Rinawen

    Reply to a V-Day challenge! This is pure unadulterated fluff, so be warned...

  43. The Quiet Room by jardyn39

    After a late change of plans, Harry goes to stay with Neville during the summer holidays. Ginny and Luna discover where he is hiding and endeavour to make Harry reveal why he refused to go to the Burrow as planned. Harry eventually confides in his three friends but becomes very uncomfortable when they begin to debate his concerns.

  44. Keep Your Hands Off My Pumpkin! by Amethyst

    What better way to spend Valentine’s Day than as a pumpkin, eh? Yes, I’m sure Hermione would agree.

  45. Reasons for Hating Valentine's Day by mysticdueler

    Here's a Valentine's fic for all the people out there. Something funny, yet fluffy.

  46. Make Out Buddies by OceanAvenue213

    Harry and Hermione are comfortable with each other. Comfortable to practice kissing on one another, so not to look like idiots once their first "real" kiss rolls around. Made for Valentine's Day. (I used make-out instead of snog because it flowed better) One-shot.

  47. captivated by velvet

    lily and james were deeply in love but ended their relationship after a stupid mistake tore them part. Lily has put the past behind her and is not set on marrying another man, but has she really put it behind her? what will happen when James comes back into her life and is once again set on winning her love? will she be captivated or seek revenge? If you read, please review!

  48. Be My Hermione by CandiceMarie

    A little something for Valentine's Day. I wanted to find out the origin of the day. I did, and I was inspired to do this ficlet. Happy Valentine's Day, Portkey :)

  49. Sod Off, Valentine's Day by Mara Jade Potter

    Hermione is having some sort of mental break-down because of her least favorite holiday...will Harry tell her the truth before she has to buy a monkey? A funny, cute one-shot.

  50. Memories of a Wednesday Morning by jardyn39

    Hermione is struggling to recover after her memories of the past two years are fractured. Her friends know there is little time to discover Dumbledore’s hidden messages. As Hermione learns more about the final battle and Harry’s fate, she realises they need a vital link that may restore her full memories. Dumbledore has entrusted Hermione to make an important decision concerning Harry.