Unofficial Portkey Archive

Tag: Humor

Showing page 5 of 28.

  1. And Malice Toward None by SPSmith

    As he starts his final year at Hogwarts, Harry is finally drawing the loose threads of his life together. He has a girlfriend, and the possibility of a peaceful year now that the Death Eaters are in disarray. But Voldemort is already preparing to rebuild his followers and subjugate the wizarding world. In this final chapter, a hero who's greatest power is love must confront the darkness one last time... else the darkness will consume all. The Year Seven sequel to With Malice Aforethought begins here.

  2. Keeping with the Company by coven

    AU * Hermione offers her best friend Harry a place to stay after a girl discards him. Harry accepts, knowing that the arrangement is indefinite until he finds a suitable place for himself, but things take a strange turn when they both find out that keeping each other company is turning out to be a permanent thing after all.

  3. The Worst Day Ever by bentheslayer

    It should have been the perfect day - Harry had finally decided to reveal his long-hidden feelings to Hermione. Little did he know what was in store for him . . .

  4. 11 Things Spouses Shouldn't Do by theweirdgirl

    Just a guide by yours truly.

  5. Table for Two by greymalkin

    What was supposed to be a quiet dinner turns into something a little bit more…A funny little ficlet that’s also posted at my Livejournal.

  6. Undefined: Chronicles of My Relationship With Harry Potter by lillyfan16

    I can’t find the word to describe it. Does such a word even exist? How do I portray such bliss? Is that what this is? Is it ‘bliss’? Is that word even effective enough? I quickly flipped through the dictionary in my hands to find the correct definition of bliss.---> Hermione has a little trouble finding the right words to describe her relationship with Harry! Total fluff stuff.

  7. IN NEED by prongs_69

    Alternate universe.. no voldie mouldy shorts, no war nothing... just 2 people who meet and find that blind dates are not such a bad thing after all.

  8. Mama Mia! That's a raging monster! by Harrys girl

    What Harry's monster from book six really was, but that's the only mention of anything from book six. Warnings: language, smut, bad/crud humor, please read the warning inside and did I mention smut.

  9. Give Up? by dolly_llama

    Tutoring a certain Draco Malfoy was not Ginny Weasley's cup of tea. Unfortunately, that is the position that she was in at the moment. Needless to say, sparks begin to fly. Not only sparks of love, but also sparks of hatred. Neville, a lady’s man?! Will he ruin the relationship, or just cause it to escalate? Read to find out! Please read past the first chapter! *CHAPTER TWENTY FOUR UP!* Draco snickered at how easily The Dark Lord was actually defeated, was this really what all the fuss was about?

  10. Doorway To Heaven by hrmny4etrnty2

    This story was written for the "Invitation-only KiwiMelon15" Challenge. - Set after their sixth year, Voldemort has been defeated and Hermione feels that Harry needs to feel free the summer before their seventh year. As an added bonus, her parents have allowed Hermione and Harry to vacation at the Granger beach house...alone! Whatever will happen?

  11. A Day in the Life of Torchwood by gphoenix51

    A Death Eater recruitment center, and a shadow bent on destroying it and everyone else following the Dark Mark. A Glimpse of the Torchwood Universe.

  12. Until The End Of Time by Phantom Keeper

    They had a relationship 5 years ago, that resulted in Ginny becoming pregnant. When she tried to tell Draco, she was turned away like she was his past whore. Now he’s back in her life as a business partner in her restaurant, and refusing to leave Ginny and their child alone, much to her dismay. - Future, AU. R for language, violence, sexuality, and innuendo.

  13. Amortentia by lillyfan16

    RESPONSE TO CHALLENGE! Lily doesn't realize what it is that she smells in her amortentia potion... she knows it's something she's smelled here at Hogwarts but what.. or who exactly is it?

  14. PK staff testing story uploads by gal-texter

    Portkey fic staff testing story uploads here. No need to report this story; I'm one of the people who'd get those reports anyway. :) PK staff make these tests from time to time. --------- Latest test: can PK take Word .doc uploads again?

  15. Thrill Me and Then Love… by gypsybaby21

    [No real spoilers] A naughty sequel to my PG-13 story ‘Teach Me’.

  16. Remembered Past by Suzanne of Dragons Breath

    Just got reminded of this fic by my beta, I never did get around to posting it. Oops. Remus remembers on an important day.

  17. Just Might Change Your Life -- REWRITTEN by SummrMagic

    REWRITE:: Every once in a while, there are certain events that happen in your life that don't make immediate sense. But after a while, you finally wake up and can clearly see exactly what it is you've been missing...and it makes your life even better.

  18. A Penny For My Thoughts by LadyElla64

    Lily could do with a stress reliever. Her home life with her boyfriend is plummeting, her close friend recently divorced and constantly needs her assistance, and she might just be in love with her boss.

  19. A Little Thing Called Love by moogle

    Draco Malfoy never intended to fall in love, but when one redhead falls rather ungracefully into his world he finds himself falling just as swiftly for her. The only problem is, she doesn't give a damn for him. ~~~~~Snippet~~~~ Draco stared in surprise at the woman dangling above him, clinging desperately onto what looked like a purple curtain. He gave himself a moment to admire her very nicely formed rear end, and then with a small smirk playing on his lips, said lazily, "You know, I do believe the established mode of exiting a house is through the front door." The woman let out a shriek and almost lost her hold on the curtain, swore furiously under her breath, and then turned a pair of of glaring, brown eyes on him. "What the devil do you want?"

  20. Vanished Barriers by canoncansodoff

    Harry gets a bright idea. Hermione doesn't think to much of it when the idea involves making her knickers disappear. So Harry tries to make things better by making her a new pair...but they're black, and sheer, and thong-backed. Surely there's a good reason for this, right?

  21. Luna Lovegood and the Trouser Snake by IronChefOR

    What happens when Luna Lovegood hears about a most unusual magical creature? H/Hr, R/L, N/G. Short story, three chapters, my first R-rated story. Please be kind. :-)

  22. Prince Huff 'n Puff by fallenwitch

    Draco and Ginny in a bit of Hogwarts snarky fun.

  23. A Weasley Birthday for a Malfoy by yomoedmb

    Ginny shows Draco how to have a Weasley birthday.

  24. One Pair by greenevans

    Harry and Hermione are returning from a day trip when they have car trouble and are stranded in the pouring rain near a small cabin in the back woods. Due to a series of unfortunate mishaps, they are without magic, and soaked to the bone with nothing but the clothes on their backs. Can they survive without their wands in the secluded cabin? Will they survive each other? Can they make it through the night with only one pair of found pajamas between the two of them? Post-Hogwarts, post-Voldemort, not post-DH, one-shot, R & R, please!

  25. Polyjuice by SHOULDBEHHR

    Are Harry and Hermione more than friends? Harry said no, but his actions say different. Ron would like to find out. He wants to ask Hermione about it, but he doesn't know how. That is until Snape has them make a polyjuice potion in class and Ron gets an idea.

  26. Rain over Heart by mangolee_schnooglesquee

    There was something about the rain that day. And that something made Hermione wish that her parents had bought a more comfortable couch.

  27. Moving On by Konflickted

    From School to Summer, it seems like the fates are trying to keep James and Lily apart... she's got a secret that she won't be able to hide much longer, and if James doesn't hurry, she just may not survive...

  28. Bewitched Times by Adrial

    Set nine years after the war's end, the wizarding world is thriving and at the top of her game is Ginny Weasley. Successful and admired, she's itching for a bit of the happiness that's been spreading around her friends and family. But can she swallow her pride and accept it in the form of someone she'd never even considered?

  29. Knowing There Is Only Now by coven

    Hermione finds out that there is a fine line between dream and reality. A repost of its original version. Nothing changed or added. Grammar errors and typos still the same :D

  30. Delusional by Wilkes

    Harry Potter has just saved the world, so what does he want to do? Express his love to Ginny, of course! But what happens next is DEFINITELY not what he expected... If you want a laugh and some fluff, you might just want to read this :)

  31. Overlapping Dots by canoncansodoff

    ONE SHOT - Harry needs a safe place to soak with his Second Task egg, but the Marauder's Map always shows the Prefect's Bath busy with overlapping dots. Dobby helps out, and Harry and Hermione end up doing some overlapping of their own.

  32. So you think you can save the world? by Jess2425

    The trio's 7th year done right.

  33. Friday Night by Turkish

    Ginny finds out what she's been missing out on when she ventures into a Muggle nightclub.

  34. Wizard Gone Wild by canoncansodoff

    Just another shameless plot device to make Harry and Hermione realize their feelings with the help of some bared skin...Yenta Tonks schemes when she's asked to provide the "entertainment" for the bachelorette party that Hermione is in charge of.

  35. That Bloody Quill by bentheslayer

    One-shot fic. An innocent act forces Harry's resolve to finally crack under the pressure. A short piece that pretends books six and seven didn't happen.

  36. Arielle Potter : Book One by Serena R. Snape

    What would happen if Harry Potter wasn't born as a boy, but instead a girl? And would what we know of the first book change if it was Severus Snape that came to fetch the cute little girl instead of Hagrid? Definitively! Especially if even the snarky Slytherin can't help but find Arielle Potter cute.

  37. Darcy by cosmopolitan411

    somehow her plans just never seemed to turn out quite as she had imagined they would.

  38. The Way You Want It by pottersweetie

    Sequel to My Best Friend's Wedding. Harry and Hermione have been through a lot of drama and chaos to get to the point where they can be together and are now dating, why should planning their wedding be any easier?

  39. Let Me Enlighten You - Harry's Assessment by hrmny4etrnty2

    Companion piece to Let Me Enlighten You - Hermione's Revelation. This story is told from Harry's POV and takes place several nights after the first story. Rated R for language and sexual innuendo.

  40. Harry Potter and The Bard by hrmny4etrnty2

    TOTAL PARODY! Harry Potter comedic take on Romeo and Juliet. Obsessed Ginny/Flirty, forward Hermione/Clueless Ron/Silly Harry

  41. Let Me Enlighten You - Hermione's Revelation by hrmny4etrnty2

    Hermione is suddenly hit with a revelation during an evening with Harry. Rated R for language and sexual innuendo.

  42. Behind the Burrow by starwberry_nerd

    This is a randomd, ooc fic that I wrote because I think Draco is somewhat of a wimp so he needs Ginny to give him a kick into asking one of the most important decisions of their lives- no real spoilers sadly

  43. Popping the Question by starwberry_nerd

    Harry's never been all that great with the girls, what makes you think he'd ever get the guts to ask such an important question?

  44. Behind the Scenes by starwberry_nerd

    What happened after the epilogue

  45. SPEW: “Society for the Promotion of Elvish Wrongfare” by Jo Bob

    Hermione is an avid supporter of House Elf Rights. In fact, she created SPEW simply for the promotion of their wellfare. Will it take Harry and a little midnight excursion for her to find out how her little friends feel about it all?

  46. Damn Car by Viopathartic

    It all started with a damn car. 3/22/08: Chapter 7 is up!

  47. Love Like Fire by RavenclawGenius

    Voldemort is gone - thanks to the famous Trio's final efforts to vanquish him. Harry and Hermione are finally given the time to learn about their feelings for each other, while Ron dabs into his own romantic mind and comes to the realization that Loony Lovegood is quite a fanciable witch.

  48. Cats Eyes by Pittsy

    He stared directly into the wide green eyes glaring at him. He couldn’t figure it out. There was something about these eyes that held the secrets of the universe. These eyes promised the key to unlocking his problems.

  49. The Disobeying Eyebrow by Pittsy

    Lily gives James a chance. His eyebrow blows it.

  50. The Adventures of Harry Black, Year Three by reptilia28

    With the threat of three fugitives on the loose, Hogwarts will play host to the Dementors of Azkaban this year. Combined with the Marauders' Animagus training and reform within Hogwarts itself under McGonnagal's administration, third year shall prove to be very interesting. H/Hr, SB/OC