Unofficial Portkey Archive

Lust or Love by Sarinileni
EPUB MOBI HTML Text

Lust or Love

Sarinileni

Title: Lust…or Love?
Author: Sarinileni
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. Not at all. In the slightest.

Mature Subject Matter
Chapter 2: Of the Devil and Deals
Date Begun: Tuesday, June 1, 2004
Date Finished: Wednesday, June 2, 2004
Date Posted: Wednesday, April 22, 2005


The devil hath power
To assume a pleasing shape.

William Shakespeare (1564 - 1616), "Hamlet", Act 2 scene 2

……

Recap:

"Great sex," Potter said coolly after he regained his poise, his eyes flicking from Lily to Vince. "Amazing sex, in fact."

Vince smiled icily and turned away in a flurry of black robes, ignoring Lily, who was staring at James, gobsmacked.

The four boys stared at Lily, who gulped and stared defiantly back.

"All right, Evans," said James hotly, standing up and pressing his hands flat onto the table, his eyes blazing. "What the flying fuck was that?"

Oh, hell. What did I just get myself into?

……

"Erm…" she squeaked. "I…er…do you think we could talk, Potter?" she asked awkwardly.

Sirius made a noise of disbelief. "My dear Lily, you aren't going to go talk, are you? James just owned up to shagging you!"

"That's Evans to you," Lily snapped back. "Don't befoul my name."

"Well you're going to let Malfoy befoul it when he moans it while you shag him senseless, right? So it can't be befouled any more!"

"Black, so help me God I'm going to-"

James barreled past her and caught her arm, shoving her behind a shelf of books and standing in front of her, looking ready to kill. "What kid of insane favor did I just do for you?" he hissed.

"A very nice one?" she said meekly. She could deal with Sirius, but not with James. He had just done her a huge favor, even if there was no way she could act as if she knew what she was doing during sex.

"So now Vincent Malfoy, the bastard of the school-"

"He's not a bastard-"

James snorted. "Haven't you heard the rumors? Your darling Vince may have the same blonde hair as his brother Lucius, but their mother's shagging partner has got the same hair-just like her husband. Ingenious, really. Haven't you noticed his pretty blue eyes, Evans? Blue eyes are recessive-and I haven't met a Malfoy before him with them-but his mother's handsome partner has got eyes the exact same shade…I mean, how curious-"

"Shut up," said Lily, steaming.

"I will, then, but not because you told me to. Now explain why in hell he just asked me if you were a good shag. Why did he expect me to know?" Lily muttered something but he obviously didn't hear it, because he asked her again.

"I told him we slept together, all right? Last year on the train and for all of September-and since you're such a man-whore he expects me to be good in bed-and I've never done anything except-"

She cut herself off and blushed.

James stared at her dispassionately. "So basically you just used my name to make him think you're good in bed-even though you're a virgin?"

"Exactly!" Lily said, mock brightly.

"That's just brilliant, Evans," James said flatly, turning to leave her. She caught his arm.

"Wait!"

"What?"

"You can't just go! You've got to-to-to tell me things now!"

He stared at her as though she were a lunatic. "Pardon?"

"You've got to teach me how to shag him."

Potter pressed his fingers to his temples and leaned against the shelf, sliding down to the ground. "You are mad," he muttered. "Absolutely mad."

"Of course I'm not! You have to admit that I've got no other choice. I can't just sleep with him when he thinks I've read the bloody Kama Sutra when I really don't even know what it looks like!

"Oh, Merlin. This is crazy. This isn't happening."

"Potter-please! It's just some friendly sex, right? It's meaningless. It doesn't mean a thing!"

"Evans, you-are-not-serious-"

"I am!"

"It's not friendly sex at all! We're rivals, in case you didn't notice!"

"Potter-"

"So-you've been holding out on Vincent Malfoy, the Don Juan of Hogwarts, and then you decide to give up your virginity to me so you can shag him properly? Does that make sense? Obviously it means something to you to lose it to someone special if you haven't yet-"

"You-you are special!" she said desperately, and then bit her lip. She knew he knew she was lying and that he knew she knew because he smirked…

Not that she even understood that thought herself.

After a moment James laughed. "Oh, Evans. Evans, Evans, Evans. I'm sorry. Not doing it. Find someone else. Ask Sirius-even Remus. Just-not me."

"Oh, come on," she pleaded.

"No."

"Potter-"

"I said, no!" He stood and Lily backed away, for the first time that year appreciating why he was Head Boy. She had never before understood Dumbledore's choice, but looking at James his aura of intimidation and authority gave her a vague idea. Now she knew why people listened when James Potter spoke.

"Okay," she said, cowed. "Fine."

He walked back to his friends without a backward glance.

Lily suddenly wondered when, exactly, he had stopped fancying her.

……

"Okay, Vince. It's not a big deal. It was over a year ago. And we hated each other then-hey, you didn't even ask me out for the right reasons in the first place-"

Vince kept on walking along the frigid dungeons, ignoring her. His jaw was tight and his blue eyes (they were a very unique shade) were aflame.

"-so really, we're even. Right? Right? Oh, come on, Vince!"

He stopped walking. "You really slept with Potter! I thought you were lying!"

Lily flinched but he did not notice.

"The look on his face-it makes me think you've been cheating on me!"

"No! Vince, stop assuming-"

"Lily! You shagged James Potter. You're tainted-you're dirty-"

Lily froze, her mouth open.

"Sorry," he said immediately, but it was hollow, and she knew he didn't mean it. He never meant it when he apologized for saying such things.

She just put up with it because he was hot. And he was a very good kisser. And…well, there was no one else for her to go to? There were no other prospects, and Lily hated to be lonely.

"It's okay," she said, the customary response. "But really-it was a year ago! And Potter and I still can't stand each other. It was just experimentation!"

Vince studied her.

"He-he-" She had been about to say something incriminating, like telling Vince that Potter had raped her the first time, or that he had just recently made a move on her, but just because James wouldn't teach her to shag Vince did not mean she should be such a bitch. She really didn't need to be any bitchier.

"You know what, forget it. We just-didn't work out at all. We clashed. So-can we just move on? I'm going to shag you when you get back from winter hols. That's the end."

"At least let me kill Potter," Vince said grudgingly.

Lily hesitated for only the slightest moment. "No. He hasn't done a thing wrong. Not a thing."

Vince looked at her sharply and Lily kept her face impassive. He sighed.

"Fine. I've got to go. I'll see you a dinner."

Lily nodded and kissed him hard on the lips, showing him that she at least knew how to kiss, even though her lips were cold and she drew no warmth from him whatsoever.

……

James stopped her on the way to dinner and pulled her aside, looking slightly guilty.

"I heard you talking to Malfoy," he finally said, and Lily opened her mouth in outrage. "I wasn't even looking for you or listening," he added hastily. "I just…heard you when I was in the dungeons. Thanks for not telling him I raped you or hurt you or something-"

Lily shrugged.

James studied her with his hazel eyes and she grew red under his scrutiny. "Are you quite finished?" she asked tartly.

"No," he said slowly, still studying her.

Lily waited impatiently.

"I'll do it," he said after a second.

"Do what?" she asked blankly.

He closed his eyes and let out a deep breath. "And they made you Head Girl-"

"Oh!" Lily suddenly realized what he meant. "Really? You'll teach me what to do?"

James nodded, rolling his eyes. "It's meaningless, right?" he intoned. "But you'll have to come to my house for the holidays-you can come by floo or the Knight Bus-"

"The Knight Bus?"

He stared at her and the shook himself. "Anyways-Malfoy can't know you're coming home with me-so you can't go on the train or he'll ask questions. Sirius lives with me but he's going over to Andromeda's for the first week and coming back at the beginning of the second for my birthday-so you can either stay or come back or go visit your family-"

"I'll pay you," she said suddenly, and he stopped talking.

"What?"

"I'll-"

"I heard you," he snarled. "Why would you pay me?"

"Well…because you're going to-"

"No. You aren't going to pay me. I'm not a whore, Lily, okay? Your precious boyfriend may be, but I'm not going to take money from you. We've tortured each other enough over the years-I figure we can both pay each other back with…this. Besides," he added, "it's not as though shagging you is going to be some sort of chore." He raised his eyebrows at her.

She shifted, uncomfortable. She should have kept her mouth shut.

She wasn't really very good at that, now was she? She felt her face heat up and looked away.

"Do we have a deal, then?" she said, lifting her chin and meeting his eyes, feeling like she was looking at the devil incarnate.

The slightest smile touched his lips. "We do."

Lily reached out her hand…and he shook it.

……

http://www.livejournal.com/userinfo.bml?user=thegreatbreak

Join the community, read the intros, introduce yourself-remember to FLOCK!...


-->