Unofficial Portkey Archive

Title: Lust…or Love?
Author: Sarinileni
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. Not at all. In the slightest.

Mature Subject Matter
Chapter 29: Of Silver and Cold
Date Begun: Thursday, May 26, 2005
Date Finished: Wednesday, June 29, 2005
Date Posted: Wednesday, June 29, 2005

……

[Silver and Cold, by A.F.I]

……

The next morning Lily woke up with the most wonderful, free, delicious feeling she had ever felt. She stayed in bed for at least twenty minutes before dragging herself to the bathroom, where she used the toilet, washed her face, and brushed her teeth. She thought she heard a noise and paused as she was drying her hands, but there was no further disturbance. She drifted back to her bed, looking over at Mary and Rebecca, who were sleeping peacefully, while Elizabeth had her curtains drawn shut. Lily flopped back onto her mattress and stared up at the top of her canopy, seeing the rosy light of dawn illuminate the room out of the corners of her eyes. She stretched her arms over her head and arched like a contented cat, yawning. She yelped when she felt the bed dip beside her and something tickled her stomach. She collapsed and reached out to the side, quickly grasping something and yanking it away.

James was grinning at her, his glasses glinting in the early morning light. His invisibility cloak slid down his body and pooled on the floor, out of sight. Lily reached out her hand again and pushed him on the shoulder. "You're not supposed to be up here!" she whispered, looking around to make sure the other girls had not woken.

"Right," James said dryly, "let's start following rules now."

Lily held a finger to her lips and gave him a warning look, pulling shut her curtains and effectively drowning out all sounds whatsoever. No one would be able to see or hear them. James flopped on his back and Lily lay down half on top of him, exhaling deeply across his chest. He laughed and pulled her in so tightly she thought would break into a million pieces. He buried his lips in her hair and urged her higher so her face was over his.

"Mmm?" she replied, answering the silent question he was posing.

He grinned. "Let's go." He rolled over and pinned her down on her bed, letting his mouth cover hers. Lily yelped, startled, when he bit down lightly on her lip and surged strongly above her.

"…unh?" she asked, when he broke away and looked down at her.

"We've been shagging for so long," he explained, his lips traversing her cheek, "that we haven't really made out in ages."

Lily tilted her head back and laughed loudly, twisting her legs back and forth under his body. "True. Very, very trumphmmm…" Her hands tangled in his hair and her body undulated slowly under his and he kissed her fervently. The kissed like that for a long, long time; slow and deep and burning kisses that left Lily with a painful desire in her stomach. His hands traveled up her waist and slipped under her shirt, worming up under the tight fabric and reaching her breasts. Both of them sighed.

"So, Mr. Potter," she gasped, "happy at second base?"

He placed a neat little wet kiss on her neck. "How about I take you to third, hmm?"

"I thought we were making out."

"Change of plans. Poor baby."

She stared at his bent head as he pulled the straps of her tank top down her arms and then slid it up over her head. He patiently untangled it from her hair and set it down beside her head on her pillow. James had used his mouth on her only once, the morning of his New Year's party and before she had left his house for the first time. Somehow, Lily couldn't really remember just how it had felt. She just had a vague impression of stars.

"You don't have to," she said, her voice small.

James chuckled. "Darling girl," he said charmingly, "I want to."

"Because I broke up with Vince for you?" she muttered, averting her eyes.

"Because you broke up with Vince for you, Lily," he corrected her, and then pressed a kiss to the curve of her breast.

"Oh…" If having James when she wasn't supposed to was amazing, having him when she was free of Vince was absolutely mind-blowing. She had never seen James this charming, this carefree, this utterly loving. She bit her lip and her breath caught in her throat when the cool edge of his glasses brushed across her collarbone. She would never in her life tire of that little sensation.

Remembering, Lily tilted his face up and removed his glasses, setting them on the bed and hoping they wouldn't break. James nibbled gently on her skin and Lily curled her toes, extending her legs outwards. She accidentally kicked open the curtain the slightest bit and a rush of sound met her ears. James stopped what he was doing and lifted his head. They heard the sound of Lily's dorm mates waking and readying themselves for the day ahead.

"Oh shit," Lily said, barely speaking. "They'll hear us."

"Shut the curtain," he whispered against her skin. He bit down lightly and Lily reached her hand outwards, trying to find the gap.

"Lily?" she heard Mary ask, just as James closed his other hand around her other breast and bucked his body against the burning heat between her legs. She gasped and finally caught hold of the edge of the curtain, yanking it shut and holding it there. She felt someone tug against the curtains but then there was complete and total silence and peace.

"Are we good?" James hissed. In answer, Lily gripped his wrist and slid it down to her waist.

James yanked down her shorts and then her knickers. "Shorts?" he asked. It was the middle of winter.

"I get hot at night," she murmured.

"At night? You're always hot, Lily."

"Funny, funny," Lily gasped.

He freed her legs and left her shorts and knickers somewhere or the other. His fingers dug into her hips. "Do you know why I came here?" He dropped the words onto her thighs.

"To make out?" she said, exasperated.

"Maybe. But actually…"

"Are you going to say something sexy, James?"

"Shut up, Evans. Actually…" He hooked his hands beneath her pretty knees and spread her legs apart. "I came here and I decided…" He put a kiss on the inside of her thigh, trailing little kisses and bites upwards, then switching to her other leg. She was quivering. "…that I was going to take you clothes off and tease you and just fuck you senseless."

"I need my senses," Lily squeaked.

"You won't be able to walk when I'm done."

"We have class in just an hour. Breakfast at half-past."

"Plenty of time," he kissed onto her stomach, and then he plunged his head between her trembling legs. Her hips jerked up and James moved back. She hoped the other girls were gone.

James had the hottest mouth on earth; this Lily knew. Lily tightened her thighs around his head and bit back a loud moan, bringing her knees up and lifting her hips. It was suddenly too hot within the curtains. James put his hands on the tops of her thighs and then pulled her even closer, groaning and sending a vibration all through Lily's body.

"Nhn…" Lily said incoherently, her feet pushing down hard into the mattress. James crawled up her body and Lily swallowed hard, tears of unfulfilled pleasure leaping to her eyes. James turned her face up and then kissed her deeply, his tongue reaching almost to the back of her throat. Lily tasted something sharp, musky, tangy, earthy-

"That's you," he said onto her lips, darting his tongue out and licking her mouth once more. "Like it?"

She swallowed hard again.

"I wanna hear you," he said fiercely. "Don't be quiet, okay?"

"James-"

"Shut up, Lily," he said, his voice full of affection. "Just shut up."

His hands wove into her hair and he moved above and against. Lily writhed underneath him and gasped out loud, something unidentifiable rising inside of her body. She had never felt like this before. She whimpered when he thrust deeply inside her as he never had before. This hurt, but it felt too good to care about any pain. She thought she heard sobbing; and with a start she realized James wasn't really there anymore. He was gone, moving against her with a wild abandon that showed her he wasn't alright.

She was the one sobbing, dry, wracking sobs that made her body heave with every breath. James was pounding into her as if he would never get to touch her again. He was detached and yet attached, there yet gone, broken yet whole, and Lily knew that James was far from fine.

Whereas Lily took her orgasms with a sudden loss of any inhibitions and screamed or shrieked or clawed at his back, James took his in a slightly different manner. There really wasn't a word for it. Now, he fell over the inevitable edge with a chorus of hoarse and whispered professions of unconditional love against her shoulder, his body surging, every inch of him raw heat. He collapsed on top of her and Lily felt the stickiness of tears against her sweaty skin. She sifted her hands through his soft hair and kissed to top of his head, her arms closing around his neck. He turned his face to the side.

"Shit. Lily. Fuck, I'm a mess. I'm sorry."

"Shh…"

"No! I was-I was fine before. I-shit. Sorry."

"S'okay," Lily said firmly, sleepily. "You can…I'm here for that. Listen," she continued hurriedly, "let's get ready for class."

He lifted his head from her shoulder and Lily was quite aware that they were both naked and that at some point, James had obviously removed his boxers. Her breasts were crushed beneath his lean but slightly too thin chest. He kissed her chin. "Thanks, Lily."

"You don't have to-"

"Showers," he reminded her gently, his smile effortlessly kind. "I'll see you downstairs."

She nodded and then peeked out of her curtains. Elizabeth was still bustling around the room. When she saw Lily looking, she gave a good morning that grated on Lily's nerves.

"Er…" Elizabeth said, staring at James's cloak on the floor. She had to know Lily had a boy in there with her, or she was completely stupid. "I'll see you, Lily," she blurted out, and then rushed from the room, her face red.

Lily laughed and yanked back her curtains, using her wand to lock the door. She swung her feet onto the floor and grabbed the towel she kept by her bed, wrapping it around herself in a self-conscious attempt to retain some of her dignity. She stood and walked James to the door.

"Oh, James?" she asked when he was just about to leave.

He turned to her, his eyes satisfied but tired. "Yeah?"

"I think I'm senseless." She smiled shyly and pushed his hair off his face, sliding his glasses onto the bridge of his nose.

……

After they spent the day in classes and dodged the public eye at every possible moment, Lily and James found themselves in his room. Lily was sitting on his bed and James was sitting on the floor.

"You know, Lily, I've got something to ask you."

"Is it something stupid, like whether I feel obligated or not?" Lily asked absently, flipping through one of the books she had found on the floor, half shoved under his bed. She reckoned it didn't belong to him. She didn't recognize the name on the inside cover.

"Shut up. Actually, not to open up old scars…but why on earth did it take you so long to break up with Malfoy?"

Lily shut the book with a snap and threw it back down on the floor. She rolled over and found that he had turned, so his face was level with hers. She reached into her robes and yanked out the cracked pendant on the chain, dangling it in front of James's eyes.

"I was wondering about that. You showed it to him in the library. And you were wearing it this morning. Is it…did he give you that?"

Lily nodded. "For Christmas. I didn't put it on until the night of your party, and ever since then…I've been unable to break up with him or disobey a direct order." She paused. "I…well, I suppose it cracked that day in the library."

"Ah," James said, "you mean right before my profession of adoration and love."

She gave him a reproachful look. "Don't joke. It broke then, and that's why I said yes to go to…to the funeral. Before I simply…couldn't. Some days it was more powerful than others, I suppose."

"It's on a gold chain," James noticed.

"Mm…that made it weaker than if it had been on a silver one."

"Definitely," he agreed. He reached it out and held it, examining it in the light.

"It won't come off."

"That's rather ingenious, really. Too bad he's a Slytherin."

Lily whacked him on the head and he let go of the necklace, grinning. He crawled up on the bed and tackled her, spreading her hair out like a fan over her head. "You're a very pretty picture, Lily."

"Why, thank you, James."

He laughed as her hands traveled down to his belt buckle and she began to undo it. When he fell silent, Lily looked at him questioningly, having just removed his belt.

"You've never been on top before, have you?" he asked curiously.

Lily flushed bright red. "Erm…"

She was saved when the door burst open and James let himself fall on top of her, groaning. She pushed him over and raised her head to see Peter and Sirius enter the room, stopping just inside the door to look at them.

"Oh, Merlin. Go shag somewhere else, mes petits lapins," Sirius said, his accent perfect.

"Wonderful. Someone decided to be smart and taught Sirius Black French."

"Blame those bloody French ancestors of mine," Sirius said. "Noir changed to Black when they fled from France. We've even got a French motto, French style décor, the works. But no, seriously. We just left Remus and Rebecca to find a room and continue their flirting, and now we come up and find you. Stupid trysting couples. I swear-Remus gets horny as anything on nights of the full moon. It's such a problem."

"I'm sure you'll get over it," Lily said, flopping back down on the bed and trying to relax. She felt…extremely content.

Peter remained silent, his eyes cast down. Lily didn't let his obvious dislike of her ruin her mood. She squeezed James's hand and then he got up, picking up an imitation Quaffle and lobbing it at Sirius. Sirius dodged and sent it flying back. He managed to hit James, but then the two boys simply worked it out in a flurry of punches and headlocks. Lily sighed, smiling.

Sirius came out victorious in the end, pinning James down on the floor and straddling him. Sirius caught Lily's eyes and wiggled his eyebrows. He moved his hand as if to hit James in the crotch, and Lily sat up straight.

"Don't you dare!" she exclaimed, appalled, just as Remus entered the room, slamming the door behind him.

"MAD!" he yelled. He pointed at Lily, his face red, "MAD, I say, all of you women! Nutters!" He threw himself on the bed and ignored them. Lily glanced at James, her eyebrows raised, and he shrugged.

"Rebecca do something, mate?" Peter asked distractedly.

Remus nodded into his pillow. "I mean it. I know all about feeling sick at strange times-but right when we're about to-" He glanced over at Lily, who put her hands over her ears as if she wasn't listening. Remus made a face, as if to say that he wasn't that stupid, and continued anyways. "-right when we're about to shag, she suddenly has to go off and save someone or has a really sick feeling."

"Bad things happen when Rebecca says so," James said dubiously. "Dead useful, that."

"It makes her a huge target, thought. Voldemort would love to have someone like her. It's not as good as seeing the future, but she does well enough without total clairvoyance." Sirius inspected his nails coolly.

Something clicked in Lily's mind.

It seemed as if both Peter and James had understood as well, because both of them suddenly looked at Lily.

"Lily…" James said.

"You don't…he wouldn't…" Lily swallowed. "Oh."

"That explains quite a bit," said Peter.

Remus and Sirius had caught on too, now, and they both looked at Lily, astonished. "Remus," Sirius said slowly, "what, exactly, did Rebecca say?"

"She just said she felt sick. Really, really, really sick, like sicker than she'd ever been in her life."

"And you came up here and complained about missing out on a good shag," Lily remarked dryly.

"I made sure she was alright, first. She's resting. It's not my fault if she gave me a boner like you wouldn't be-"

"New topic," Sirius said loudly.

"How about you gits leave?" James suggested.

"Why's that, hmm?" Peter asked.

"Obviously so we can get it on," Lily replied scathingly. James sent her a warning look and she sighed angrily. "Sorry, Peter."

James looked mollified. Lily made a face at him. Peter said nothing to her. She had never met someone so outwardly rude in her life; she was used to the sly insults she had received from Slytherins, not the open dislike Gryffindors seemed to favor.

"When's dinner?" Sirius groaned. "An hour," he said only a moment later. "Who's hungry?"

James, Remus, and Peter loudly advertised their hunger. Lily shook her head, but offered to go to the kitchens to get food for them. James jumped up to go with her.

"If you don't come back in half an hour," Remus told them in his dry voice, "then we'll assume you're otherwise occupied."

Lily flushed and James pushed her out the door after a good-natured swing and both Remus and Sirius, then Peter. He followed Lily out and shut the scarred door to their room, pausing for a second with his back to her. He took a deep breath and then turned to her; she felt a horrible lurch in her stomach. There was something about him. It was saccharine sweet and left a bitter taste in her mouth. He was fake, perhaps, or acting too much. She both wanted and did not want him to stop his farce and unburden himself on her shoulders.

She shook it off and led him out into the castle proper. She stopped to tell off a Ravenclaw who was practicing spells by firing them at a suit of armor. It was at this point that Lily looked around and then yanked him into the nearest classroom. It was, thankfully, empty. Lily had never been in this room before; it was probably unused, although it was very clean. Several long tables were ranged in perfect rows across the floor.

She turned and within seconds James was kissing her, kicking the door shut with his foot and muttering some sort of spell to lock the door. Lily pulled away and actually cast one that would keep people out, before yanking his shirt over his head and sending his glasses skittering across the floor. She kneaded his shoulders hard and he pulled away a little, gasping and pushing her so she was pressed against a desk. She made a little sound of protest and shook her head when James looked at her quizzically. He ran his hands up her thighs and under the fabric of her drab skirt, pulling under her knees until she was sitting on the table behind her. She may have heard something rip when her knickers disappeared and she winced, but there was no time whatsoever to think when he quickly unbuttoned her shirt, slipped it off, and slid his hand to her back.

He drew on the skin there, pressing a hand flat against the small of her back and inching her hips forward. Lily broke away undid his belt with practiced fingers, her face right against his and their breath mingling. To both his and her surprise, she slipped her hand tentatively inside his boxers.

"Holy fuck," James gasped, his voice breaking. Lily's other hand went to the back of his neck and she buried her face in his shoulder as she stroked him. After a moment, she scrambled back on the table and beckoned his closer. He climbed on after her and she quietly told him to lie down on his back; she pulled off his boxers and straddled his waist. He was whining in the back of his throat, swallowing hard and taking large, gulping breaths.

"You offered to let me be on top," she reminded him, and then eased backwards in such a way that her mouth dropped open and she began to pant in anticipation. James's hands flew to where her thighs met her hips and held her tightly, urging her to move up and down. Lily's legs were trembling with the strain as his fingers dug delightfully into her flesh through the skirt.

There was nothing like this.

When Lily was slumped next to James on her stomach, her hand rising up and down on his chest, he turned and pressed his side against her, all strength and heat, and put his hand in her hair. "That was my ultimate fantasy," he murmured.

"Hmm?" Lily asked.

"Shagging with a girl in her school skirt."

She pushed his hair back from his forehead. "So I'm the girl of your dreams, then?"

There was a loaded pause while Lily waited for him to say yes. He was unable to get the word out. "You bet," James said finally, and then his breath hitched. He set his jaw. "Shit. I can't stop, Lily."

"Crying?"

He nodded, disgusted with himself.

"There's nothing wrong with it, you know," Lily pointed out.

"I was fine three seconds ago," he said, his voice full of anger. "I hate this. I don't want to be uncertain. I need to know what's…what's going on."

James's silence grew darker and heavier with every passing moment.

"Hey," she said softly.

He looked over at her, his eyes leaden with pain or anger or blankness. "Yes?"

"Chin up." She sent him a teasing smile and he shrugged.

"I guess."

Lily couldn't take it anymore. It had been fifteen minutes since he had been laughing with his friends, five since he had slept with her. How could he possibly be in a bad mood now? It sounded terribly conceited, but Lily had noticed that every time they slept together James became miserable. It wasn't fair.

"Alright," Lily said. "Clothes. Now." She raised herself up and reached down for her shirt. James put his hand on the small of her back and came towards her.

"My shirt?" he asked.

"Other side," Lily said softly, and then snagged her shirt from the floor and pulled it on. She did up all the buttons and then, embarrassedly, looked for her knickers. She found them near the door, with a little rip in the side. She decided to mend it later and pulled them on. None of the threads gave way and it held fast.

"Ready?" she asked. James had his clothes on and was tiredly hopping of the table. He put his arm around her waist as they continued on their way to the kitchens, and it was only when they stopped outside the portrait that depicted a bowl of fruit. Lily had an epiphany and reached out a hand to stop him just before he tickled the pear. "James-"

"Yeah?" he asked guardedly.

"You haven't…you haven't heard about your dad yet, have you?"

"No," he said sharply, his lips pressed into a thin line.

Lily paused. He was uncharacteristically angry with her. "Where do you think he is?" she continued slowly.

"I don't know, Lily," he returned harshly. Lily pulled against his arm.

"Calm down." Her tone was irritable. "It's not as if we haven't had a serious conversation before. How can you not have heard about your dad? Did you ask anyone…or-"

"Dumbledore's put in a request."

"That's it? You care, don't you?"

"What gives you the right to ask me that?" James exploded, whipping around and towering over her. Lily's mouth dropped open.

"I…I can't believe you just said that to me," she said blankly.

His face was scarily blank. Then he rolled his eyes. "Neither can I! I have no idea what's going on. I'm going absolutely mad. Mad."

"Oh…kay…um," Lily said, not believing him, "…can we go back? Forget the food. Let's just go back to the Tower." Lily waited, still slightly peeved; it was all she could do to keep from tapping her foot uncomfortably. James looked at her, pensive.

"I'll walk you up," he said.

When they reached the portrait hole, James waited until she went inside and did not enter behind her. She stared at the closed portrait for a moment, something unreal and upsetting bubbling up in her stomach. She licked her lips and then turned to go up to her dorm.

She loved him so much.

She paused at the bottom of the stairs and then looked over at the boys' staircase. Looking around at the milling common room, she decided that it was fine to go on up there. On her four yard walk to the other staircase, she ran into Rebecca and staggered back a few feet, wincing. Her legs ached.

Rebecca had a tissue crumpled up in her hand. Her eyes were puffy and pink she wore no makeup. She was shivering; her hair was coming out of its ponytail.

"What's wrong?" Lily asked, grabbing Rebecca's arm. The other girl swayed dangerously and then sat down heavily on the steps leading upstairs. "Rebecca?"

"Are…are the boys upstairs?" Rebecca's voice was a high, pained rasp. Lily felt a pang of guilt. She had sat upstairs and laughed when Remus described this, while Rebecca was really in pain.

Lily started to answer in the affirmative and then she paused. It was a full moon tonight. "No. They won't be." Was that where James had gone? It made sense, of course.

Somehow, Lily didn't think so. For some reason, she thought he had forgotten about Remus and had gone off to brood. She knelt in front of Rebecca and put her hands on her shoulders. "Do you need anything?"

"Where are…where are the boys?" she asked again, her voice almost gone. Lily hesitated and then told Rebecca to wait for just a moment. She raced up the stairs and burst through the door to James's dormitory. It was empty. It had the air of something that had been hastily emptied. A magazine lay open on Sirius's bed. The shirt Remus had been wearing earlier was hanging off his bedpost. On Peter's bed lay an expanse of parchment.

Curious, Lily walked over and paused. It was map of sorts, with small moving dots navigating a complicated diagram that she saw was Hogwarts castle. It was brilliant. She leaned closer and gasped.

Tiny little dots were moving across the surface of the parchment in every which way. Name labeled each dot in fancy cursive. She pulled the map closer and saw her own name. She saw Rebecca's at the end of what looked liked a flight of stairs. Professor McGonagall was pacing back and forth in her office.

She scanned the map and her heart stopped. Two dots labeled Vince Malfoy and James Potter were slowly, slowly, slowly moving from the dungeons and out of the main doors, over the grounds…heading to the Forbidden Forest.

Lily dropped the map and ran.

She passed Rebecca on the stairs, vaguely shouting an explanation and a plea for a professor at the sickly looking girl. She burst out of the portrait hole, ignoring the exclamation of "I never!" that came from the Fat Lady. Her heart was pounding so hard the she couldn't ever breathe. She swallowed past a lump in her throat.

Vince had James.

She pushed her hair out of her eyes with touch movements and gasped as she reach the top of the marble staircase and looked down the wide, dark expanse. She could see lights at the bottom, and somehow, this endless line of white shrouded in shadow gave her a feeling of utter hopelessness.

Vince-had-James.

She raced down the stairs, tripping over her own feet and her robes. She wiped her cheeks and tried not to think that five whole minutes had just passed. Anything could happen in five minutes. She had trouble undoing the latch but then she slipped out of the doors and they shut with a thump! behind her. The night was foggy with mist and Lily looked around wildly, still wiping away tears. She should have brought that map, because now she had no idea where she was going. The full moon illuminated enough through the fog. She ran towards the trees, a line she could barely see through the dense mist that surrounded her.

She tripped over her flapping robes and rolled down the slight inline and had to scramble to get to her feet again. She had sliced through the muscle in the heel of her hand with a sharp rock, but she just continued on, throwing her heavy hair back and licking her lips. She was parched; she needed to find James.

James James James James James…!

She did not know that she had reached the forest until her stinging, bleeding hand slammed into the bark of a tree. Her breath hitched deep in her throat and she flinched. As she peered into the mist and repeatedly cursed herself for not bringing the map with her, she wrenched out her wand and sloppily healed her aching hand. The wound closed over, but she had the feeling that it would open again soon enough.

How to find James? How? Every advanced spell she knew for such an aim was so far away from her mind right now that there was no way she could properly perform one. She yanked her hair back from her face against and a small cry escaped her lips when her locks caught on the chain she wore.

Her chain.

Lily held up the pendant and saw that the lily engraved onto it was glowing slightly. She shut her eyes and concentrated hard. She felt a distinct, very faint pull into the middle of the forest. Her eyes snapped open and she began to travel through the wood as quietly as she could. She went in the wrong direction twice and had to double back, all the while trying to keep the pull going strong. After a good twenty minutes in which she was sure James was dying or agony, she stopped at the sound of someone stomping through the undergrowth. The pendant had led her right to Vince.

The noises stopped. She could see his shadow moving through the trees and she stepped behind a tree with a small squeak. Vince paused. "Who's there?" he shouted. "Show yourself, you little shit!"

Lily held absolutely still until he swore and continued on through the snow. Lily waited until she could longer hear him before she came out from behind her tree. Again biting her lip and wringing her hands, she decided to follow his steps the way he had come. She rushed forward, not caring to erase signs of her presence. Presently, she arrived at a clearing and smacked into a tree just in time to hide herself. A small part of her rational mind wondered where Vince had gone, but then she saw James and rushed over to him.

He was crudely gagged with a long strip of dark cloth. He made a loud sound at the sight of her but she simply yanked the gag from his mouth and proceeded to untie it with quivering fingers. As soon as he was free to speak, he did.

"Lily!"

She glared at him. "Shut up, shut up, shut up. How dare you let this happen, Mr.-I-Can-Take-Vince-Malfoy? Where'd all that wonderful defense training go when it was needed? Are you mad? What possessed you to go walking around the castle at night-and it's a full moon, as well! I know you all stay with Remus, God knows how-"

"Keep your voice down!" he hissed, his eyes shifting from side to side.

"Vince went off to some cursed place-I don't care what he's about to do because we're getting out of here, now!"

James nodded vigorously. "Alright, sugarplum, but it would be slightly helpful if you would consent to untying me."

"Shut up," Lily repeated sullenly, pressing her body against his so she could untie his hands from behind the tree. The last thing she wanted to do was walk into the dark forest to get behind the tree and undo his bonds. He face was right next to his as she furiously worked at the knots. He breathed heavily onto her neck and Lily gritted her teeth.

"Damned if this isn't a turn on," he said hoarsely, and Lily stopped her actions to elbow him.

"Shut it," she said, as if she hadn't told him the same thing at least five times. "You're incorrigible-you just got some twice today-and we're in a potentially deadly situation, so I'd appreciate it if you would lay of your blasted jokes."

James rolled his eyes and began to say something, but Lily had frozen. Slowly, she took her hands away from his greatly loosened bonds and stepped back. Someone was with them. She could feel it, down in her very bones. She reached for her wand, but before she could even make contact with it everything went black and she hit the ground.

Perhaps if you hadn't been flirting, she said to herself when she came to, you wouldn't feel as if you're twisted like a pretzel.

She opened her eyes and blinked. The moonlight shone down on the little clearing, illuminating the little scene that was playing out before her. Vince stood some ten yards away, twirling his wand idly in his fingers and looking bored. Lily saw that James, still tied up next to her, was snarling at the blond boy. Lily groaned. She must have hit her head on a rock or some such thing-her head was throbbing as if there were no tomorrow. She felt as if she was going to be sick. At the sound she made, both boys looked at her.

"Ah," Vince said, the picture of the evil villain, "the raging bitch has woken."

Lily wished she could spit at his feet, but instead she settled for several choice words that made Vince raise his eyebrows. "Lily, Lily, Lily…I never expected such language from you-even at your…er…shall we say, least inhibited, you could only muster enough courage to call me God-"

James started to laugh so hard he was doubled over as far as his robes would allow. His laughter echoed up through the trees, spiraling into the night sky and disappearing into the stratosphere. Lily and Vince both looked at him as if he was mad; Lily was not entirely sure he wasn't.

"And just what is so funny, Potter?" Vince demanded when James had gotten a hold of himself. Lily could see tears of mirth glistening on his cheeks.

"You liken yourself to God," James spat, hissing at the same time, "and Lily over there faked it every pitiful time."

Vince was shocked; Lily saw his pale eyebrows go up and his eyes ignite with anger. His gaze flickered over to Lily, who gave him a mocking smiled and mouthed a kiss at him.

"She faked…"

"And if you were talented enough at fucking her," James continued viciously, "you would know that she writhes so hard when she comes that she rips your sheets, and she leaves scars on your back that last for a good week after, and that she loves to scream the name James when you hit that spot right inside of her-"

A very, very, very detached part of her brain was amazed at the fact that she had managed to rip his sheets, but she gasped when Vince roared in fury and raised his wand at James. Just as he sent a jet of red light in James's direction, James ripped his hands from his loosened bonds and grabbed Lily's wand, which Vince had carelessly left on the ground just inches from James's foot. Both boys faced off, aiming between each other's eyes.

"Accio wand!" James yelled, and his wand zoomed out of Vince's pocket and into James's hand. He carefully walked over to Lily, severing her ties with a nifty spell and then handing her wand to her when she got back on her feet.

"Turn around, throw your wand away, and put your arms around that tree behind you, Vince," Lily said firmly, holding his eyes.

"You cheating bitch!" he snarled suddenly. "I knew you were kissing him, but I didn't think you'd shag him over one weekend just because his dad offed his mum!"

James growled, but Lily held out her arm to stop him from doing anything. She was terrified, but she and James had this under control. Raising an eyebrow and fighting to appear calm, she licked her lips. "One weekend, Vince?" She leaned closer, as if telling him a secret. "James and I have been shagging since Christmas Eve."

The reaction was priceless. Vince's mouth dropped open and he tried to curse her. Lily yelled "Stupefy!" but her aim was off and a tree behind him exploded with the force of her spell. She felt James tighten, ready to curse Vince, but the blond boy turned and ran from the clearing.

"Follow him," James said, his voice a deadly calm anchor. "Don't let him get away."

They ran after him, racing through trees as his shadow darkened the glaring white snow. They broke out of the forest and emerged onto the far banks of the lake, halfway between Hogsmeade station and the castle. Vince stood by the edge of the half-frozen water, his robes flapping and his hair flying. He leveled his wand at the both of them.

"Now, now, Malfoy," a cultured voice said from behind them. "Just what are you planning on doing without permission?"

Lily spun to see who was speaking, but James kept his gaze trained solely on Vince. He didn't even turn when Lily gripped his arm hard and gasped. Augustus Rookwood and just stepped out of the cover of the trees, his sister on his arm. Rebecca looked a fair sight better than she had earlier. She had apparently composed herself for her little trip down here.

"You scum," Lily said, not sure which twin she was referring to-the one who scared her, or the one who had pretended to be her friend?

"Yes," Rebecca said in a bored voice, inspecting a nail and flipping her hair over her shoulder, "betrayal and all that. How else did you think I knew about all those things before they happened? Lily-you bought into my little sob story about Lucius, didn't you? How very…quaint."

This didn't make sense. Why would Vince date Lily to get closer to Rebecca if he was already working with Rebecca?

"Can we get on with this?" the boy in question said from behind Lily, sounding harried. "Potter's just about to attack me."

"We should sic him on you for your impudence," Augustus hissed.

James pulled out his wand and pointed it at Vince. "I'm not your dog!" he said clearly.

Augustus sighed. "Ah, well. This is true. Expelliramus!"

Both Lily and James's wands went to Rookwood. He handed them to Rebecca, who pocketed them and curled her fingers in a wave at Lily, her lips pressed into a full pout. Lily trembled-what were they going to do? Would Vince, Augustus, and Rebecca kill them? James was still facing Vince. Startled, Lily saw that he was reaching down into his pocket. She moved closer to cover whatever he was doing, and then turned with each step Augustus and Rebecca took so they could stand in front of both Lily and James.

James whipped a wand from his pocket; Lily recognized it as Sabia's. He pointed it at Vince and bellowed a word Lily couldn't understand if her life depended on it. Vince disappeared for just a split second before reappearing over the water in the lake, twenty feet up.

"SHIT!" he yelled, waving his arms frantically. He tried to undo the spell, but he did not know the countercurse. The Rookwood twins watched with guarded interest. Lily saw Rebecac's hands loosening from its death grip on her brother's arm.

"Watch it, prick," James said darkly, "or I'll let you drop."

Lily opened her mouth, but Vince cut her off. "Let me the fuck down, Potter. You could fight me like a man-"

James burst out laughing again. "A man? A man? You're the man who fled when you found out it was two against one. Don't tell me to fight like a man!"

"Augustus!" Vince yelled. "Force him. Force her. Make them let me down!"

Augustus yawned uncaringly. "You can rot for all I care, Malfoy. You're expendable. Go ahead, Potter. Let him drop."

James paused. Lily could tell that he was struggling to voice his thoughts. "First-first I want some answers, and I'll let you down. Alright, Malfoy?"

Malfoy spat into the water, but it was ineffectual. James took a deep breath. "Did you kill my mother, Malfoy?"

"Of course I fucking did, you worthless heap of dung! We tortured her too, if you'd like to know…your poor father, he tried to stop it-too bad we wiped his memory so he couldn't say oh, Vince Malfoy killed Sabia!"

James's hand trembled. "James," Lily said quietly, noticing that Augustus and Rebecca weren't paying attention, but James was lost.

"How dare you?" he muttered, even though Vince wouldn't be able to hear. "How DARE YOU?" he yelled. Lily grabbed his arm but he wrenched it free. "You think you rule the world, Malfoy. You kill people-you've enchanted Lily-"

"Enchanted? You call a curse like that mere enchanting? It took ages to come up with-ages. Lily's the perfect tool-the perfect person to control. You're in the perfect position to do some rather riotous harm, Lily-too bad you're a bitch," he snarled, his handsome face and ugly mask of hatred. "You got smart and switched the bleeding chain-ruined the effects-"

Augustus coolly disarmed James and Rebecca halted Vince's fall with Lily's wand, which was already in her hand, not that Lily knew why. James clenched his fists in fury, set his jaw, and stepped in front of Lily. Lily let him.

"I'll let you down, Malfoy," said Augustus slyly, "if you kill Lily."

"Shut up!" James yelled, as if this would erase the words. Augustus did not even acknowledge him.

"Kill Lily, and I won't kill you," Augustus said calmly. He beckoned Lily forward, but she stood her ground. James put and arm in front of her and made sure she did not move forward.

Vince pointed his wand at Lily.

"You'll have to kill me first," James said, his voice carrying on the wind, low and determined. Lily tried to step out from behind him, but it was not needed, because Augustus and Rebecca managed to force James over to them, at least ten feet away. Lily stood helpless. She could run, but then they would immediately kill James. She could stay, and James would have a chance to escape. She could dodge Vince just enough to give James time for an escape, perhaps for both of them.

Vince pointed his wand at Lily. She met his eyes, shocked. She couldn't imagine him killing her-beating her, raping her, hurting her, yes-but killing…it was almost unthinkable-almost. Lily held her arms out, ignoring the sounds of James struggling.

"NO!" Vince shouted, and then pointed his wand at James, screaming the killing curse. The green beam of light passed just over Rebecca's head, but James had thrown himself to the side and knocked his mother's wand from Augustus's hand. Vince plummeted, still screaming, into the cold, murky, endless depths of the Hogwarts Lake.

"He can't swim!" Lily wailed, rushing to James's aid. Hearing her, James only hesitated for a moment before diving into the water after Vince. Augustus grabbed Lily, forgoing magic. He twisted her arms behind her back.

"How long do you think someone can survive in water like that in this weather?" he whispered in her ear, biting it lightly. "It's not so bad, Lily. Rebecca here will make it quick."

James surfaced, spluttering and shaking water from his eyes. Augustus sent a nasty looking bean of yellow light at James but missed. James dived under again.

"This is stupid," Rebecca said, somewhat weakly. Once again, she aimed Lily's wand at the water, squinted her eyes, and said, "Accio Vince!"

It took only a moment. Just as James resurfaced, Vince's limp body burst out of the water and deposited itself right in front of Rebecca. James swam for the shore and Augustus was too busy trying to tie Lily up to try anything on him. James crawled up the rocky side of the inlet and collapsed there, his breathing heavy. Rebecca went and dragged him over to where Lily was. He had blood trickling down his temple. Lily froze when she saw it and tried to look away, but she simply couldn't. She gasped, her mouth dropping open, and made a supreme effort to look elsewhere.

"What's this?" Rebecca said uneasily. "What's wrong, Lily?"

"She can't resist it," Vince said, coughing in between his words. "She was supposed to collect some of her own blood and give it to me tonight, but since she fucked with the chain she's just obsessed with fucking blood in general. It was all written into the spell-"

"Why'd you need her blood?" asked James.

"None of your bloody business," snapped Rebecca, and then she shook Lily's shoulder, hard. Lily looked at her, back at James, and then stepped away.

"Don't touch me," she said evenly.

"Finish it, Malfoy," Augustus said, his voice laden with impatience. "Get up and finish this mess. You suggested it."

"Wait-" Lily said lamely. "I want to know what's going on…"

Vince had struggled to his feet and snatched up the wand Augustus threw at his feet, having summoned it from the lake. He pointed it at James, who looked at Lily, then at Rebecca.

Rebecca shoved Vince to the side, threw Lily's wand in the redhead's direction, and ducked her brother's swinging fist. Lily found that she could easily slip out of her bonds if she wanted. She did so.

"RUN!" James screamed at Lily, his voice reaching a pitch that was almost feminine in nature. Lily spent one anguished moment deciding what to do before James yelled at her. "Lily-look at the MOON! GET HELP!"

Lily broke and ran. She heard a loud cry of pain and then saw a flash of green light. She didn't stop to ponder as she ran deeper and deeper into the forest. Help? Remus was out here-he was a werewolf right now. How could Lily get help from him? Rebecca-Lily had no idea what was going on with Rebecca.

Sirius. Peter.

But how could they-

Lily didn't want to think about how. "SIRIUS!" she shrieked, her voice echoing getting lost in the trees. "REMUS! PETER!"

Nothing. She heard a branch snap and ran in the opposite direction, wiping her cheeks. She needed to get back to James. Why had she run from him? She raced back to where she had come from and stopped, looking around. She had no idea where she was.

She drew in a deep breath, shut her eyes, and told herself to stay calm. She swallowed hard. She needed to get help. She held out her wand. "Ac-Aclarus Sirius!"

Nothing happened. Lily swore violently and tried again. "ACLARUS SIRIUS!"

Nothing. She was tapped out. She had nothing left in her-drained. She sagged against a tree trunk, gathering her strength so she could walk around aimlessly and find James. But no-something was happening. A deep, pulsing feeling was coming from the very earth itself. Slowly, she saw paw prints in a deep bronze color appear in the clearing, all over the snow.

Some were a very bright gold-they were the most recent. Trembling, Lily pushed herself away from the tree, but then an earsplitting scream from her left halted her movements. It was met by an answering howl from her right, and then a ferocious growling sound. Lily was poised to go either way. She gave up on Sirius and ran towards the scream, more willing to face human monsters than beasts.

She veered left, towards another scream, and then burst onto the scene she had just left. James was slumped against a tree, clutching his side, his wand trained on Vince. Rebecca and Augustus were dueling, sending nasty-looking jets of light at each other.

Lily pointed her wand at Vince and Stunned him. James's eyes flew to hers. She was about to do the same to Augustus, but she could only scream and go on screaming as one of his killing curses slammed into Rebecca's chest. Augustus looked at her coolly as his sister fell and deflected James's weak curse with a shield.

He shouted something. Lily's vision went fuzzy for a second before something heavy and wet slammed into her back from behind. She cried out as a growling mass of fur burst out of the trees and bounded towards James, about to rip his throat out.

Her eyes closed just as she sank facedown into the freezing cold snow. If this was death, at least she'd be with James.

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