Unofficial Portkey Archive

Title: Lust…or Love?
Author: Sarinileni
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. Not at all. In the slightest.

Mature Subject Matter
Chapter 28: Of Lust and Love
Date Begun: Wednesday, March 30, 2005
Date Finished: Wednesday, May 25, 2005
Date Posted: Sunday, May 29, 2005

For any lyrics, go to: http://www.lyricsondemand.com

……

[Lust or Love, by the Scorpions]

……

For some reason, Lily had not been ashamed to tell her mother the general idea of what had occurred over the past two months. She left out Vince's impressive repertoire of rapes and just how many times she had slept with James, but her mother now knew that somehow, Lily had ended up at James's house and had lost her virginity to him. Lily was quite sure her mother would have harped on her about that if she hadn't continued her story and told her about Clark's imprisonment and Sabia's death. Samantha frowned when Lily told her about the ring and tapped the rim of her water glass. They were sitting at the kitchen table; Lily's father was supposed to be home in a couple of hours. Petunia had come and gone when she had seen Lily in the house.

"I don't know anything about Wizarding law…" Her mother began, and Lily's head snapped up; she had suddenly remembered a fact she should have remembered ages ago.

Her mother was a lawyer.

Lily gripped her coffee cup. "That's okay. It doesn't matter. Do you think…?"

"Lily, the only thing that ring will prove is that at some point Vince was in the Potters' home. You say he was at the party, right? They could even say that someone stole it. Your only chance to free James's dad is to get a confession, or somehow use whatever magic you can to find out what happened that night."

Lily slumped and swirled her coffee in her cup. "Mum-this really must all come as a shock to you," she said, apologetic. "I didn't mean to keep this from you-the thing with Vince or the danger and of course-not James, I would have loved to tell you some things about James. It's just…I have two separate lives, and I can't seem to meld them together. I'm not at that stage yet…"

"It's alright, Lily," her mother said, "although I don't approve of this cheating ordeal…I see why it's necessary. Why were you at James's house in the first place, love?"

"Oh, er…I had to get something extremely important that he took at one of the Head meetings by accident, some notes-but then I couldn't get back to school and we just…clicked. And Vince is…well, he's gotten terrible, Mum. I don't know what to do about it."

"What's that?" Samantha asked, sipping from her cup.

"What's what?"

"That necklace. The one you're fiddling with. I've never seen it before."

Lily paused, her hands stilling, and then she looked down at the pendant Vince had given her for Christmas.

It was cracked jaggedly down the middle.

Lily remembered that strangely cold feeling she had experienced when in the library with James, the feeling of something so completely wrong, the feeling of being torn apart, pulled in two different directions. She remembered how she had felt afterwards. She knew what it felt like to have dread sinking into your veins and poisoning your blood…she was feeling it now. It wasn't possible that this necklace was the cause of her problems, that Vince had been able to influence her. It couldn't possibly be so simple and obvious.

He had always touched his chest when talking to her. She had always forgotten about breaking up with him then, always-ever since New Year's, when she had put it on.

Lily tried to wrench it off, but all she succeeded in doing was hurting her neck as the fine gold chain bit into her flesh. She gripped the pendant hard, wishing she could destroy it, and then she turned so her back was to her mother, pulling her hair up and exposing the clasp. "Take it off, please, Mum."

Samantha's nimble fingers, so used clasping and unclasping fine jewelry from when she had worked in a jewelry shop to pay her way through law school, could not undo the clasp. Lily, feeling slightly desperate, grabbed a pen and a piece of paper. She tried to put together a message for James or Rebecca or Sirius or anyone, really, but she couldn't. She couldn't think of what to say, what to ask. How could she explain this if she wasn't facing another person? How could she reiterate all the times she thought this pendant had done something to her? Briefly, she thought of the pain she had sometimes felt around where the pendant was when she would have a particularly strong feeling for James.

This did not make sense. If Vince had given her a pendant that could influence her, why not compel her to tell the truth all the time? Lily knew that jade and silver were excellent receptors for magic, particularly Dark magic, but how could Vince, Vince-who had the ability to master Dark spells in only a few days, not be able to completely and totally control her? She was quite sure that after some time, she could still manage to say what she really wanted.

Lily's mother had stayed silent, but now she spoke. "Lily-could you please tell me what's going on? Did James give you that?"

"Vince gave me the pendant," Lily told her mother absently, still thinking of how this was supposed to work.

"Lily-why ever did you put a pendant engraved with silver on a gold chain?" Her mother frowned, shaking her head, bewildered. "Really, I thought I taught you better than that."

Lily was about to reply with another vague comment when she thought about what her mother said. Silver was a good receptor for Dark magic, yes, but gold was known to counteract Dark magic. In being lazy and stupid and grabbing the first chain that came to mind, had Lily unwittingly screwed up Vince's plans? Had she perhaps short-circuited the pendant's complete powers and made it weaker?

"Thank god I don't listen to you, then," Lily quipped, biting her lip and thinking hard.

"Lily-what on earth-could you please explain to your daft old mother what is going on?" Her mother raised her eyebrows at Lily, who sighed.

"Mum-the necklace just won't come off and I'm trying to figure out why." There was no need to tell her mother everything, such as the fact that there appeared to be a bloody pendant on the loose controlling what she did and how she felt!

"It won't come off? Maybe you cast a spell to keep it on and have forgotten."

Lily shook her head. "No, Mum. It just…won't come off. Do you-do you want to go out, or something? Visit a few people?"

Her mother peered into Lily's eyes shrewdly so that Lily would know that she was not unaware that her daughter was lying. "We can go see Margie. You haven't seen Lex in ages, have you?"

"Not since this summer, no," Lily replied, again off thinking about the blasted necklace.

"Right, then." Her mother rose and took Lily's cup from her hands, washing hers and Lily's in the sink and leaving them to dry. Lily remained at the table as her mother went to call Margie, not really wishing to see her old elementary school friend, Lex. She and Lex has always been thrown together because their mothers were friends; otherwise, it was doubtful they would have ever spoken outside of the third grade. The two girls had had little in common, even at that age.

Lily tagged along with her mother as they visited Margie and said hello to Lex. Her old acquaintance's hair was darker then Lily remembered, now a dark chestnut color that rippled all the way down Lex's long, flexible back. They talked for a little while and Lex, in her gorgeous, musical voice, squealed over the fact that Lily had a boyfriend.

"What's his name?" she asked eagerly. With a pang, Lily remembered that she had had some good times with this girl, even if their once easy relationship that had been cultivated by their mothers had faded into a kind of brief snapshot, a time in Lily's life where she knew nothing of who she really was. Lily and Lex had not had a friendship that could grow with time; Lex was no longer Lily's best friend.

Lex was only Lily's longest friend.

Lex had known Lily since they were two and in diapers, being totted off to pre-school by a pair of women who imagined that their daughters would be the best of friends forever and ever. Lex had gone through summers of pain with Lily where eight-year-olds could not understand why other children had to be so cruel, had to insist on leaving other girls out for the pure, sadistic fun of it.

Lily knew that she and Lex couldn't really ever be friends again, that their relationship had been a nice time that had, really, been forced-that was the reason they couldn't withstand the horrors of the fifth-grade boy craze together. It was nice, though, to chat about seemingly mindless things with this person from her Muggle life, this person from a life that kept her grounded and defined who she was.

"Lily? Woohoo, are you there? What's his name?"

Lily looked up, startled. "James," she said after a pause, and they continued on.

……

When it came time for Lily to get out of the car and enter the Leaky Cauldron the next day, she found that she did not really want to, but then she looked across at her mother and all she could see was James's face. All she could think about now was that he did not have what she had anymore, not by a long shot.

She hugged her mother tightly this time; neither of them cried. Her mother simply did not understand just how horrible things were in the Wizarding world-it always seemed a little like a fairy story to her, Lily knew. It was abstract, detached, unreal. There was no way Lily could express to her mother that she knew that her life was spiraling dangerously out of control, that James was a blazing, passionate person who was probably going to die young because of what he stood for. He was going to die young, in his prime, taken down by someone who had no respect for human life, no respect for justice or fairness.

Lily hoped she would be able to die with him.

"I'll see you in the summer, Mum. I'll write."

Her mother nodded; Lily stared at her a little longer, taking in her slightly lined face and her countenance: the fact that Samantha Evans was a mother was as plain as day. No one besides a mother could move with such deft care. Lily took a deep breath and broke the long gaze, opening the door and stepping out of the car. She slammed it shut and her mother rolled the window down, calling after her. Lily turned back to see what she wanted and realized that she had been wrong.

The look in Samantha's eyes was so infinitely knowing that Lily could see it from where she was standing, a few yards away. Perhaps-just perhaps, Lily's mother knew about how wonderful James was and how Lily would die with him, how dangerous this was for her daughter. Perhaps Mrs. Evans knew there was nothing that could stop Lily, for Lily was determined to follow through with that which she had started.

"I love you, Lily. Very much."

Lily nodded her agreement, not about to cry, but still unable to speak. She cleared her throat; it sounded as if a fish was dying somewhere in the near vicinity. "I'll be seeing you, Mum. I'll bring James around."

Her mother stayed until she entered the pub. From the door, Lily watched Samantha drive away, but then she turned around and breathed in a wall of smoke from the familiar air of the pub. It was crowded with people at just before noon on a Sunday. She pushed past two wizards who were downing shots of bright purple whiskey. She looked around and, by some instinct, sensed the hand on her shoulder before she felt it. She whirled, her hand grappling for her wand, but then she saw it was James.

"Oh." She pursed her lips, anxious. "Hello."

He smiled warmly at her, a real smile then sent the old shiver up the back of her spine in youthful anticipation.

"Have a good night?" he asked, his voice actually normal, although Lily detected the perpetual hint of melancholy behind it. His eyes were different, not as filled with dreams and hope-but they were still beautiful all the same.

"Oh, yes. It was very nice."

There was a pause. Lily wondered whether she should tell him about the pendant yet. He seemed pained to ask the next question, but he asked it anyway. "Did…did you see your family?"

Lily winced slightly, but she nodded. "My sister came in late so I only saw her a little…I…I saw my dad last evening and my mother…I spent the day with her yesterday. James-"

"I'm glad, Lily," he said kindly, and she felt some of her guilt diminish. Why was he like this? Why wasn't he blank and needy and unable to pick himself up? Lily glanced around, sure his friends were here, and saw them over in an inconspicuous corner, watching with sly smiles. They must have spoken to him. They must have said something to take the sharp ache away, done something to him to dull the pain.

She looked back into James's eyes, jostled by unfamiliar elbows, and scratched that last thought. He was still hurting of course, perhaps twice as sharply, but he did seem to have accepted that…his mother was never coming back.

Lily pulled herself up tall and looked up at him, trying to bite back a smile. It came upon her anyways, taking her out of her depression. Very gently, James leaned down and kissed her, deepening the kiss by pulling her as close as possible and breathing her in deeply. They stayed there for a while until someone bumped into Lily, who broke away and leaned her forehead against James's shoulder as they almost fell together.

"Whoa," James whispered, steadying himself against a barstool and stepping back slightly, jerking his head to tell her to follow him to their table. When they reached the table that Sirius, Remus, and Peter were clustered around, she saw that there were empty drink glasses literally piled up in front of Sirius and Remus, who looked a little dazed to see her. They did not look drunk, per se-just rather tipsy.

"We've been here a while," Peter said, by way of explanation. His tone was clipped. Lily felt James's hand slide across her lower back and move in small circles, pressing down hard.

"Shall we go?" James asked. "We have to stop by the house…Remus, Sirius, are you going to end up in some completely random place if we floo?"

"Aye AYE!" Sirius burst out, then laughed. Lily raised her eyebrows and even James smiled slightly.

"Right," James said, taking it in stride. "We'll just be back." He turned and pushed Lily over to where the fireplace was crowded with people, shoving them aside and shouting at a few good-naturedly. Lily watched him, hardly able to breath, thinking that James was back. He was in control. He was-vulnerable, but in control. The sense of happiness that gave her was almost ridiculous.

The space just before the fireplace cleared and James yanked Lily forward. She grabbed a pinch of floo powder and went first, still terrified of this method of travel. She burst out of the fireplace in the family room and stood coughing, waiting for James to appear. She turned just as he slammed into her and they went toppling onto the carpeted floor.

"Unnh…" Lily groaned. "James-gerroff!"

He laughed softly, his breath spilling in beautiful, comforting waves over her neck. "Nah," he muttered, dropping his head down and resting it fully on her shoulder. Lily tried to push him away but he really would not budge. She sighed and relaxed, tapping her fingers on the floor to relieve her boredom as he simply laid on top of her.

He kissed her neck twice, lightly, and she could not help but put her hands in his hair and curve into his mouth. There was nothing incredibly passionate or sexual about it-it was utterly sensual, utterly affectionate, utterly loving-because James loved her.

Why?

It was not a question Lily wanted to answer; she sighed and James finally rolled off of her, lying on the floor beside her. "Lily?" he asked quietly.

"Mmm?"

"Do you think this is weird?"

She turned her head sharply to look at him. "What?"

"Me. Being like this."

Lily tried to find a way to tread carefully. "I…slightly."

He looked at her, his fingers gently stroking her bicep. "I don't know what happened. I woke up in the morning and you weren't there-first I just wanted to yell, but that I realized that…that I don't feel like dying anymore."

"Yeah," Lily said quietly. "You better not feel like dying anymore."

James yawned. "I'm very tired, that's all."

Lily raised her eyebrows. "Just tired?"

"Yes, Lily."

"You're sure?"

"Yes, Lily."

She paused, then glanced at him suspiciously. "You don't feel sick?"

"No, Mum," James said teasingly, and Lily rolled over twice so she was leaning over him. Her face was right over his and his eyes were unsure, sad-perhaps ravaged, but not exactly. He looked lost-as if his teasing was coming from somewhere he had never known existed.

"I'm not your mother," Lily murmured, gently kissing his cheekbone and then the side of his face. "I don't even think I could be that wonderful."

James let his head hit the floor and looked up at the ceiling. "No, you couldn't," he exhaled, "but you're pretty damn close. And, of course, you've got a great deal of sex appeal."

Lily felt her eyes droop and she lowered herself so her head was on his chest, yawning. He groped for her hand and grabbed it in his, lacing his fingers between hers and squeezing tightly. She nuzzled into his chest, a question rising from the depths of her mind, a controversial, possibly fight-provoking question. She really tried not to ask it, but simply could not help herself.

"James-why do you feel better now? What's your reason?"

Lily looked up and James looked down. Lily thought of how she hadn't seen him smile like this in at least a week. Their eyes locked; James brought his free hand up and gently brushed the hair from her eyes.

"The future," he said simply, and Lily shut her eyes and put her head down, her cheeks flaming. She bit her lip as his hand continued to move through her hair. Why her? James nudged her and she lifted herself off of him, allowing him to sit up. He stood and pulled her to her feet, pulling her to his room, where she gathered the belongings she had brought with her and stuffed them into her bag. She remembered, suddenly, the decorative hairclip that had been a gift from her mother, still lying somewhere in her old room here.

Some instinct told her not to go get it, but she ignored the feeling and went anyways while James clearing up the loo, letting herself into the room trying not to look around. She had to search for a long while before she finally found it pressed between the night table and the wall. She reached for it and had just grabbed it when she spotted something startlingly familiar. She had been holding herself up, but in her surprise, she fell and her stomach slammed into the night table.

Breathless, she let out a strange-sounding groan and pushed herself to her feet. Without wasting a second, she bent down and reached under the bed, pulling out the shawl she had given Sabia for Christmas. She cradled it in her hands, her breaths coming fast. She looked down at it, swallowing and swallowing and continuing to do so until she couldn't anymore. She deftly folded the shawl into a small square, its silky, velvety texture making it hard to keep it in one shape. She clenched it in her hand and left the room, forgetting her hairclip.

James was waiting in his bedroom for her, sitting on the bed with his back against the headboard, twiddling his thumbs. He looked up as she came in and she saw his eyes flicker to what was in her hand. His face went blank and his lips thinned.

"Hey," he said.

"Ready to go?" she asked, nonchalantly placing the shawl in her bag. There was something-something….

"Yeah."

"Alright then," Lily replied, picking up her bag and waiting for him to get up. He jumped up and put his hand on the small of her back to lead her out of the room. From the pressure of his hand, Lily simply knew that her question about why he was coping better had made him think. He was thinking now-she knew it.

"Lily?" he asked hesitantly.

"Yes?" she asked, turning and halting their walk in the kitchen. She leaned against a counter and dropped her bag on the floor, crossing her arms and waiting for him to continue. He was quiet, almost troubled, as if he could not find the words. Lily brushed the side of his sleeve straight absently and continued the motion even when it was smooth; James stepped closer and put his hands on either side of the counter around her body so she was effectively trapped.

"Do you feel obligated?" he asked seriously.

Lily made an irritated sound. "James-move. This is ridiculous."

"No, Lily. I mean it. Do you feel obligated, now?"

"James!"

"Go on, Lily, answer…"

"No." Lily dug her nails into his upper arm but he did not feel it; she hardly realized she was doing it. "Of course not."

His lips were very close, but he did not seem to want to kiss her. Lily widened her eyes at him and tightened her hold on his arm. He wanted to hear it. "James-I don't feel obligated to stay with you."

"Are you sure?" he asked, rather thickly. "Because I did tell you I loved you and I know I haven't-well, I haven't been myself lately. Obviously. You've had to take control of me and show me what to do and you-you can't like that, Lily. That's not you. I've been on automatic-just doing as I'm told and not being able to take care of myself. You don't like helpless people, Lily."

"I don't," Lily agreed, "but that's only if…if they're just helpless because they're too lazy to help themselves. I don't mind, James. It's…it's strange, of course. And I've always had you there, in control, and having to take control-it's been different. I don't really like it. You're-well, you're rather the only bloke I've wanted to have controlling me somewhat, yeah?"

James blinked and swallowed hard. "Right. Right." He looked off into space, behind her head. "I didn't want to scare you. When I said-that I'm functioning better because of the future. It's been about a week, right? I just…I think of my mother and my father and it's like ice-as if something is tearing me apart inside, that's how much it hurts. And then I think about you and what we could have, what we do have, what we're going to have…and that makes me better. It makes me want to get it together and pick myself up and just explain however I can-wow, this has been a day for speeches-"

"Have you heard from your father?" Lily asked suddenly, his words spurring a warring curiosity within her.

"No," James said immediately, his tone slightly defensive. "I haven't."

"He should have been there, James. They promised to let him attend, didn't they?"

James sighed. "Yes. They did. I just-there's no guarantee, Lily. I spoke to Gideon Prewett-do you remember him?"

"Yes."

"I spoke to him and he said it was taken care of, that my dad would be that. But I haven't had a chance to get in contact with Gideon, so I've got no clue what happened. I just…this is mad. Her funeral…they should have let him go to that, right?"

"Of course," Lily assured him quietly, simply listening.

James's head snapped up. "Let's go, Lily. I can't stay here for another minute. Let's go."

......

Their return to Hogwarts was spent in almost near-silence. The Knight Bus rushed them again, driving so wildly Lily could hardly stay in her seat. At one point, she fell on top of Remus, and ten seconds later, while they were still trying to untangle themselves and stand, Peter's pudgy body overbalanced as he tried to switch seats and he slammed into Sirius's armchair, knocking it over and sending the two of the onto the floor, right on top of Remus. Lily jumped up and back when this happened, and she stumbled backwards and onto James, who chuckled.

"Ah, Lily," he said softly in her ear, "you're back in my lap again."

"Shut up, James," she muttered back, rolling off his legs as the bus took a particularly sharp turn and landing in her chair. She curled up there and hung on for dear life until they reached Hogwarts, this being their only set of words exchanged during the entire ride.

They snuck back into the castle as if they had done something wrong. It was dinnertime, and Lily hoped against hope that Vince was in the Great Hall and wouldn't see her sneaking back up to her dorm. They reached the tower and lily unpacked the few things she had, placing Sabia's shawl under her pillow. She stroked it lightly, a shiver of something going through her, and then she tucked it away and headed down to dinner.

She entered the Great Hall and everything went absolutely silent for a full five seconds before everyone burst into whispers. Lily saw Rebecca beckon her over and she hurried down the table to where Rebecca was sitting. There was a commotion over near the Slytherin table, but Lily paid it no heed.

"Lily! I was hoping you would be back by now!"

"Back?" Lily asked, not remembering what she had said to the girls to explain her absence. She vaguely remembered something about Hogsmeade and extra-curricular activities.

"Lily-there's something you need to see," Rebecca said, ignoring her and leaning down to extract a thick copy of the Sunday Prophet from her bag. She pointed to the first page and Lily's thoughts all came to a grinding, screeching halt. It was a set of articles about James's parents-history, page 3, deaths and trial, page 5, their work, page 7…and the first page…the first page was dedicated to Sabia's funeral and Clark's absence. That would have been fine, except at the bottom, where it had a section about James, were two pictures of Lily. In one, she was just coming out of the phone booth-Lily remembered the flash that had gone off when she had left the booth-and in the other, she was kissing James as they stood outside the Leaky Cauldron. She read the section quickly and saw that they identified her as `Lily Evans, Vince Malfoy's current Muggleborn girlfriend and Head Girl, from Gryffindor house.'

She felt so sick. So, so, so sick.

She looked up just as the Marauders entered the Hall and sat down. James's eyes sought her out and he frowned when he saw how she looked.

"Can I borrow this, Rebecca?" she asked hoarsely.

"By all means," Rebecca said worriedly, waving her hand in consent. James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter were sitting down across from Mary and Elizabeth, who were staring at Lily, waiting for her to make a move. Lily left Rebecca sitting by herself, feeling bad about it, and went to show the paper to James.

She slammed it down in front of him. His eyes widened and he sat up straight, grabbing the paper and leaning close to read it. Sirius leaned in and tried to see but James hogged it, skimming quickly until he threw it down on the table and Sirius and Remus made a grab for it.

"Fuck." James ran his hands through his hair. "Lily-"

Remus whistled, shoving the paper at Sirius and letting him read it, his eyes fixed behind James. Lily whirled and saw an entire hall of people, their eyes pinned on her. She shrank back.

"Where do you think Malfoy is?" Remus asked.

Lily had not seen him at the Slytherin table. "I don't know." She turned to Mary and Elizabeth, who had been at school all day. "Do you?"

Mary shook her head. "No. I've been studying all day. Elizabeth?"

Elizabeth sighed. "Same with me. I'm knackered-I haven't seen Malfoy, Lily."

Lily turned her head down the table and saw Rebecca staring at her. She motioned the other girl over. Rebecca hesitated, but then Remus called down the table to her. "What are you doing down there? Come here."

Rebecca got up and dragged her bag down to where the rest of the Seventh Year Gryffindors were sitting. She sat down next to Remus, who threw a casual arm across her shoulders. "How are you, my darling Miss Rookwood?" he asked charmingly, giving her a tired smile. Lily remembered that tomorrow night was the full moon.

"Just fine, Lupin," Rebecca said crisply, brushing a tiny bit of lint off his shoulder and smoothing out a wrinkle in his robe like Lily's mother did for her father. "Could you remove your arm, please?"

"No way," Remus said immediately, reaching for a roll. "Now, could you tell us where Malfoy might be, and whether James is going to have to run anytime soon?"

"I resent that," James said, still looking worried. "He'd be the one running from me after a couple minutes."

"Touché," Remus said, now fiddling with Rebecca's hair. She rested her head against his shoulder and Lily raised an eyebrow, looking at the door and for Vince even as she was wondering when Remus and Rebecca had gotten so comfortable with each other.

"I've got no idea where he is, actually. I saw him with my brother, earlier."

"Augustus?" Lily asked sharply.

"Yeah," Rebecca answered, lifting her head to look at Lily. "Is something wrong?"

"Oh, no," Lily said vaguely, looking around again. "Are you all done?"

Apparently, "all" included Mary and Elizabeth as well, because they accompanied Lily, Rebecca, and the boys out of the Great Hall and on the way up to the library, where Lily's dorm mates had left their school things.

Books and papers were strewn all over tables. Students had their heads bent and were pulling at their hair in frustration. Rebecca, Mary, and Elizabeth were gathering their things when Lily heard hurried, familiar steps behind her. She whirled and grabbed James's sleeve when she saw Vince and the expression on his face.

"You slag," he said immediately. "You whore-you fucking-" His voice was quiet-the librarian couldn't hear, but the surrounding students could. "How dare you?" He looked at James, then at the paper Peter was now holding. "Let's go, Lily. We need to talk."

She felt James deflate. He had been looking for a confrontation. Lily really waited to say yes, but the word wouldn't come. Instead, she could say-truthfully, with no magical interference, "No."

Vince looked staggered. Lily saw him clutch at his neck, where his necklace undoubtedly lay. "Pardon?"

Lily felt James's hand on waist. "I said, no."

"Come with me," Vince said through gritted teeth. "Now."

Lily stood her ground, glaring up at him, and felt James's arm snake around her waist. "No, Vince. She grabbed the necklace around her neck and lifted it from beneath her shirt and her robes, holding it up for Vince to see the crack. "I'm not your bitch anymore," she said loudly, hearing a shocked sound from all around as the students pretended not to be looking. She turned back to Rebecca and the other girls, who were standing, their mouths open.

Perhaps Vince raised a hand to strike her. All she knew was that he did something, because Mary Tudor suddenly put her hands flat on the table before her. "You heard her, Malfoy. You've been thrown over for Potter. Leave her alone."

Lily held her posture perfectly straight, trying not to look too shocked at Mary's defending her.

"You watch yourself, Potter," Vince hissed crazily from behind them. "You watch yourself, because you and this whore are going to end up just like your fuckwit parents. Got that?"

James turned quickly, towering over Vince, who did not flinch. Lily had the hysterical urge to laugh at their height difference. Remus pulled James back down, sending a look at Sirius, who seemed about ready to do Vince in himself. There was a moment of breathless tension, where everyone waited to see whether someone would get hurt. Vince cursed Lily once more before snapping around and walking out of the library with his robes billowing behind him.

The silence that followed was long and full.

"Well," Mary said, clearing her throat and avoiding Lily's eyes. "I suppose we've found Malfoy, yeah?"

……

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