Title: Lust…or Love?
Author: Sarinileni
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. Not at all. In the slightest.
Mature Subject Matter
Chapter 7: Of Make-Outs and Interruptions
Date Begun: Wednesday, June 8, 2004
Date Finished: Wednesday, June 8, 2004
Date Posted: Wednesday, April 22, 2005
Today, the degradation of the inner life is symbolized by the fact that the only place sacred from interruption is the private toilet.
Lewis Mumford 1895-1990, American Social Philosopher
……
Lily sat in the decorated living room for two more hours with Remus and James, talking occasionally and more than once lapsing into awkward silence. At around ten, James's parents appeared.
James's father was fully dressed in a sturdy set of robes, while James's mother was in a dressing gown decorated with teddy bears. Lily sent a look with raised eyebrows at James, who shrugged. It was Remus who answered as James's parents went into the kitchen for tea.
He coughed into his hand. "The story is that James gave it to his mother for Christmas when he was six. Sirius…just…enhanced it a bit."
"How so?" Lily asked, peering after Sabia as if this would give her a view of the housecoat.
At that moment, Mrs. Potter walked back into the room and Lily gave a hacking cough to disguise her laugh. The teddy bears had sprouted dragon heads and were chasing each other around. One bit another's head off and bellowed fire over the expanse of the robe. Within seconds, the debacle was over and the teddy bears reappeared. Mrs. Potter bade them good morning, supremely unconcerned.
Lily shut her eyes and waved, trying to keep from laughing as the entire process was repeated over again. Mr. Potter walked into the room, looked at Lily, then his wife, and smiled very slightly, sipping from his mug of tea.
Remus leaned over as James grinned. "Er…Sirius was very good with charms when he used to actually study…which lasted for about a week. She's never seen what happens. It still looks like what James gave her. No one's ever bothered to tell her."
"Well," Mrs. Potter said, a laugh caught in her voice, "I see you tried."
Lily looked at the tree, which was a mess of clashing ornaments hanging next to each other. The oranges were with the blues and the purples with the yellows and so on…She looked at James and Remus, who shrugged.
"I think you should perhaps go out and look around the Hollow," Mr. Potter suggested. "You can let us fix this up with magic."
James shrugged and drawled, "I'm hurt by your lack of faith in my future as an interior decorator. All the same, I suppose I shall take Evans out for an...afternoon on the town. With Remus, of course."
He got up and Remus held out a hand to Lily, which she took. He pulled her to her feet and the three of them filed past James's parents. James's father ruffled both James and Remus's hair and inclined his head to Lily. She could not help it; she grinned.
She went back to her room and took out her clothes and toothbrush, walking into the adjoining bathroom and stripping her jumper. She shimmied out of her pyjama trousers and stopped before starting the water, looking for a towel.
She went back into her room to look for one and there was a knock on the door. Before she could say anything, the door opened to reveal James, standing there picking lint from his shirt and holding a towel. He looked up. "I've got a towel for…whoa…"
As he took in the sight of her in her camisole and knickers, Lily opened her mouth to say something and pointed to the bed, wordlessly. Somehow when James walked in the door ended up shut, but Lily wasn't really paying attention. He set the towel down on the bed and in the process his hand brushed against her thigh. Lily felt a shudder run through her body and she closed her eyes.
His eyes lingered on her face, sliding downwards and then quickly going up to her eyes again. He reached his hand out again and fixed a corner of the towel which had flipped over. This time, when his fingers brushed her bare thigh, he pressed his hand flat against her leg and kissed her.
Lily's mouth opened slowly under his and she bent her head back, feeling his hand rise dangerously high on her leg until his fingers were playing with the waistband of her knickers. She raked her hands through his hair and he bore down to the bed and they fell onto it. James ran his hand down her leg again and then up. Lily contracted against him and they somehow ended up on their sides.
"This is insane," he gasped, breaking away. "This is bloody insane-"
"I know," she panted, arching against him; his hand fell to her legs again. She had no idea what he was doing, but she was pretty sure he did not need to touch her like this in order for her to learn how to shag Vince.
But stopping now would be impossible. And she did not really want to stop.
His hand slid down her lower back and he pushed her pelvis against his, rolling her onto her back and pushing her leg up over his hip. She could feel him pressed up against her and she flushed, tipping her head back and trying to catch her breath.
"I thought you said," she rasped, "that I was moving too fast-"
"Fuck that," he said intently, cutting her off and kissing her again, rocking his hips against hers. Lily groaned and he moved away, removing some of the delightful pressure Lily had been enjoying. His hand slipped between her legs and she dropped them open, raising against him and trying to make sense of the jumble of thoughts in her muddled head.
She combed his hair with her fingers as he dropped kisses on her neck and collarbone, making him shiver. She took in a sharp breath when his mouth closed over her nipple through her shirt, and she made a strange sound in the back of her throat.
He looked up at her and their eyes met. His had darkened to almost black and were alight with something totally unfamiliar to her. It was not the angry frustration she had seen in Vince's eyes when they were in broom closets, but was instead something else entirely, something that made her feel-
She did not really know.
He bent his head again and the sensations she felt made her raise her hips against his hard. He made a bold move; he stroked her roughly between her legs over her knickers and she moaned something incoherent, her hips jerking upwards sharply.
At that moment, there was a knock on the door and Lily could have killed whoever interrupted them. As it was, she nearly wept with frustration.
"Lily?"
James promptly cursed Remus quietly but effectively twelve different times in English and another language Lily did not recognize.
"Y-yes?" she choked out, nearly whimpering.
"Are you all right?" He sounded concerned and the doorknob began to turn. James buried his face in Lily's neck and his hand dropped over her outer thigh. Lily got the impression that he had given up on hiding anything at all from Remus.
Lily had not.
"Don't come in!" she called desperately. "I just-I stubbed my toe-"
James let out a quiet laugh that was more a breath and expelled warm air on her shoulder. She squirmed and he pressed her to the bed.
"-and I'm changing. I'll be done in a second." She glared at James and brought her knee up threateningly. It had no effect because he was not looking at her. He was still laughing against her neck.
"Have you seen James?"
There was a horrible silence, in which even James held his breath, and then Lily said, "No. Is he missing?"
Well, of course Remus knew James was inside with her, but he could not say anything against it.
"No. He's probably around somewhere," Remus called back. "I'll be in the kitchen when you're done."
"Okay," Lily said, and heard him walking away. She exhaled loudly and relaxed.
"That was a mood killer," James remarked.
Lily felt like hitting him. How could he just lay there and be fine and not want to hit something from frustration? Preferably Lupin.
"How's your toe?" James asked, his voice muffled.
"It's fine," Lily said through clenched teeth, holding absolutely still.
"I've got a really nice look down your shirt," he said after a moment, turning his head against her shoulder.
"Why don't you take it off then?" she ground out.
James kissed her neck sensuously, causing her to curl in around him, and then pushed himself up, leaning over her on all fours and smirking. "No thanks," he whispered, giving her a fleeting, biting kiss. He jerked away and rolled off the bed, standing there and looking down at her.
Lily imagined what she must look like, with her crazy hair and her splayed legs. She clenched her fists.
"Don't get too mad at Remus, Evans," James advised, turning to leave.
Lily nodded curtly and turned her head away, sliding slowly off the bed and sitting up, feeling somewhat cheap and used. For the second time in two days, she was near tears and she had no idea why. She squared her shoulders and blinked her tears away, finally getting herself under control.
She looked up and James was standing in front of her. He knelt on the floor and put his hands on either side of her legs, sighing. "I'm not doing this very well, am I? You probably feel like a two-sickle whore-"
Lily shook her head desperately, biting her lip, squinting her eyes to prevent tears from appearing. She failed miserably.
"Don't cry," he said quickly. "Don't cry. I can't-oh, Merlin-"
She wiped away the tear that had fallen quickly and tried to talk. All that came out was a gasp. She tried again. "No-wait. I'm fine. I think I just-it's a lot to take in. I'm not used to-stuff like that. I'm not used to having that at all-and then just being teased with and not finishing or anything…it's really…it makes me want to hit something."
He held out his hands. "I'm available."
She laughed weakly and wiped away any stray tears, glad to feel that there were none. "Stop."
"Well…you were standing there in your knickers. Was I supposed to give you the towel and just…leave?" He brushed his hand against the side of her breast and she watched, mesmerized, as he bent closer. "I could…perhaps…" His hand slid around her thigh and in between both her legs, inching upward. Lily wrapped her hand around his wrist to halt him.
"No…you don't need to. I mean-it's not going to matter either way, is it? It's not going to help me be any better in bed, right?
He was looking at her with the oddest and most indecipherable look on his face. "Right…I'm sorry for…making you-"
She glared.
"I mean…nearly making you cry. I'm just…not used to not…caring at all. I mean...normally if I-I just don't know how to act about this. I thought I'd be fine but it's…different from what I thought it would be like." He stood and helped her to her feet, surprising her by giving her a quick hug. He kissed her temple and backed away. "Er…get dressed. You can shower if you're really quick. Wear something warm."
He left the room and she stared after him, touching her temple and wondering at that simple kiss, which seemed to come more from a lover than a rival.
……
She showered quickly and threw on a pair of slacks and a thick jumper she had gotten as a Christmas present one year. Halting with her hand on the doorknob and taking a deep breath, she composed herself before swinging the door open and starting down the hall.
She paused at the door to the living room, hearing voices. James's parents were inside, having opened the shades to let in the light. Mrs. Potter had removed the ridiculous robe and was busy arranging ornaments on the tree. Every so often her husband would help her to hang one on a high branch. Every time this occurred he would brush against his wife, and James's mother would close her eyes for a second.
Lily coughed discreetly and James's parents looked up.
"Lily," Mrs. Potter said. "Are you all ready?"
"Yes…do you know where…?" She hesitated before calling him Potter. It did not seem right to call him Potter anymore.
"In the kitchen," Mr. Potter said. "Just down that hall."
Lily nodded her thanks and turned away, heading to the kitchen. James and Remus were sitting at the table waiting, the tension in the air so thick it could be cut with a knife. Lily sighed, knowing they had been fighting about her.
"Finally ready?" James asked. "Good," he plowed on, not waiting for an answer. "I figure I can introduce you to some of the Muggles and if you hit it off with any of the girls you can go shopping with them, because Merlin knows I'm useless at that. If worse comes to worse, we'll ask my mum to take you."
Remus frowned. "Are you sure you want to introduce her to the girls in the Hollow? Some of them are…"
"Carbon copies of our loveable housemate Mary? I know." James shook his head. "Mary just happens to be Gryffindor's universal popular bitch. Aside from traitor Lily over there. We'll just…stay away from Catherine, dear Merlin."
Lily knocked over the salt shaker when he called her by her first name and both boys looked at her strangely.
"But Catherine loves you because she loves Sirius. So how are you going to avoid her? She'll tear Lily to shreds."
"I am right here," Lily finally said, "and if I can handle living with Mary for seven years, I can handle meeting another girl named after a princess or a queen or something."
Remus snorted. "Good one."
James rolled his eyes. "All right, Lily, you think that. Don't say I didn't warn you."
Again with the name thing. She stared at James, trying to figure him out. Was she supposed to switch now too?
James shrugged. "Let's go. It's freezing outside. Got your gloves? Cloaks? The people here will look at you funny if you wear robes, but not cloaks."
Lily went and got hers and met the boys in the foyer. They stepped outside together and Lily looked around at the brilliant white landscape.
James led them down the flower lined path and turned off at the end, heading towards the picturesque little town at the end of the lane. After a brisk walk, they entered the town and James stopped short. "Oh, bollocks," he said quietly. "Get ready. Here she-"
"James! Remus!"
A girl with curly red hair down to her waist sauntered up to them, her hips swaying from side to side. She was wearing a tight jumper and an even tighter pair of jeans, with a heavy coat hanging unbuttoned on her stick thin body. She tossed her hair over her shoulder and her unsettling grey eyes first moved appraisingly over James, then Remus, and then on to Lily. She raised an eyebrow.
Lily raised one back, wondering what the bitch's problem was. The girl's lips pursed and she pouted, then turned back to James. "Sirius isn't here? I'm so bored-all the girls are on holiday already."
James shook his head. "Sorry. He's coming in at the end of the week."
The girl stuck her lower lip out even further and she sighed. "Well, I'm leaving in three days for the Bahamas, so give him my love, will you?"
James nodded. "Lily, this is Catherine. Catherine, Lily."
Catherine raised her other perfectly plucked eyebrow at the way James introduced them. No doubt she was used to having people introduced to her first. Lily bit back a grin and smirked at the other girl.
Catherine nodded to Lily and stood on her tip toes and kissed James quickly on the mouth, then did the same for Remus, before turning and ambling away, raising a hand to say good-bye over her shoulder.
"Well, that just made my jolly day," Remus muttered, causing Lily to laugh, although she was staring at James and wondering what he was thinking. He was staring after Catherine, a look on his face that made Lily wonder whether he had ever been involved with her. He sighed and shook his head, then turned to Lily.
"Ready?"
……
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