Title: Lust…or Love?
Author: Sarinileni
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. Not at all. In the slightest.
Mature Subject Matter
Chapter 6: Of Remus and Birthdays
Date Begun: Tuesday, June 7, 2004
Date
Finished: Wednesday, June 8, 2004
Date Posted: Wednesday, April 22,
2005
The return of my birthday, if I remember it, fills me with thoughts which it seems to be the general care of humanity to escape.
Samuel Johnson (1709-1784, British Author)
……
Recap:
James laughed. "Have you forgotten that you're going out with a Slytherin, you house traitor?"
Lily frowned. "That's different."
"How so?"
"Because…because we're not in it for the long run. I'm not at least. I'm not going to marry Vince. I doubt I'll marry anyone I know at Hogwarts."
James shrugged. "We'll see. Anything else you want to ask?"
"Yea. How formal is your New Year's Eve party?"
James paused. "Extremely. Wear an evening gown."
"I'll have to go buy one."
"I'll introduce you to some girls in the Hollow," James said. "Anything else?"
Lily shook her head, once more watching James's parents and their quiet love.
……
"Ev-ans…there's one day till Christmas Eve!"
Lily reached out a hand and hit James in the stomach. At least, she tried to. She only got his side, and weakly at that.
"Go `way," she muttered, pulling her pillow over her head.
"We're decorating today! Get your lazy arse out of bed!"
"Don't look at my arse," Lily mumbled, wrapping the sheets around her cold body and snuggling into them, keeping her eyes closed.
"I think she wants to stay sleeping," remarked a dry voice from somewhere else. Lily lifted the pillow and revealed one eye, taking in Remus Lupin's pale but friendly face. She struggled out of bed and stumbled over to him, her intention to hug him, but then realized how awkward that would be. She did not want to hug people-least of all boys she did not have any inkling of respect for.
"You have no idea how glad I am to see you, Lupin," she settled on saying, her voice scratchy with sleep. "Potter's been driving me positively mad."
"And yet you're still here, at his house," Lupin remarked. "Even though he's been driving you mad for what-a day and a night? Is that how long you've been here?"
Lily nodded her head and began to stumble back to her bed. James grabbed her arm and held her in place. "Lapse of judgment. Severe lapse of judgment."
Lupin shrugged. "Well, I'm always here the day before Christmas Eve. It's tradition. I help decorate and keep James company." He paused. "What's your story?"
"We shag like bunnies every night," Lily said, and James hit her lightly upside the head. "Ouch."
James smirked. "Don't be a wimp. I hardly hit you. Not like you hit me the other day."
"Well, still," Lily said. "We're not shagging," she said to Lupin. "Don't worry."
James coughed discreetly into his hand.
"Let's get decorating then," Lily sighed, ignoring James and rubbing her eyes before grabbing her jumper.
……
James handed her yet another green ornament and she frowned at the color. "I think you're prejudiced against me," she said after a moment.
"Too right," James said brightly. "You just keep on hanging those Slytherin green ornaments. Then you can do the silver tinsel."
Lily frowned and absently watched Lupin deck the mantle with holly leaves. "I'm not a Slytherin, you know. I just…understand them more, I think. I get why they are the way they are. Gryffindors…even though I am one, I still can't understand why we are what we are. Is it the bravery? With the Slytherins it's the ambition….but the Gryffindors…"
James was staring at her strangely. "You know what; I think you've got a point. But it is, nevertheless, eight in the morning and I'm staring at really bright tinsel, so I can't think about it. Maybe later, okay, Evans?"
She shrugged and snatched some silver tinsel from him, wrapping it around the tree. James ripped off a bit and threw it at her to get her back, and then threw some at Remus, too. It fell short, fluttering to the ground two feet from James. Lily laughed and Remus allowed a small smile.
Lily watched James's head bob up and down to some internal tune and frowned, unable to look away from the firelight shining on his dark hair. They had pulled the shades to keep out the natural light and were working by candle- and firelight. She wrenched her eyes away and went back to the tinsel, avoiding Remus's eyes, which were gazing at her knowingly.
The atmosphere was too heavy. She took some tinsel and tackled James, shoving him to the ground on his stomach and weaving the tinsel into his messy hair. She let him go and sat back, grinning at her handiwork. He touched his hands to his hair and tugged, wincing as it pulled.
"I think I'm going to get you back," he said calmly, grabbing an ornament and wrapping his other hand around her ankle in a vice grip. She kicked out but he pulled her closer and serenely wove the ornament into her long red hair, whistling as if he was decorating a Christmas tree.
Lily glared at him and he leaned closer, the firelight reflecting in his dark eyes. He pressed his lips to her cheekbone and grinned. "You look like a present now, you house traitor."
"Don't…call me that," she said weakly, her eyes closing slowly as he leaned in again.
Remus cleared his throat and James jumped back. Lily glanced at Remus, who was looking at them intently, perturbed.
"Aren't you still dating Malfoy?" Remus asked quietly.
Lily looked away.
"Huh," Remus said, shaking his head and going back to his decorations. James shrugged sheepishly at Lily and rolled over, hopping to his feet easily and picking up gold ribbon.
He looked down at Lily. "You want to get wrapped up in this, or are you going to help?"
Lily hurried to her feet and began to hang ornaments on the tree.
James nodded. "I thought so."
"So where are your parents?" Lily asked James, for lack of anything else to stay.
She did not, however, miss the look that passed between James and Remus before James shrugged nonchalantly. "They're probably asleep. They were out late last night."
Lily frowned, watching the pair of them for any other signs of discomfort. There were none. James stepped back and looked at the tree. "Abysmal," he said cheerfully. "My parents'll fix it later, I guess. It actually needs to be spiffed up for New Year's."
"So should we do the rest of the house?" Remus asked.
James shook his head and stretched his arms over his head, yawning. "Let's go get breakfast," he said. He led them into the kitchen and began to wave his wand at cupboards and drawers. Lily watched with interest as he skillfully made pancakes. He saw her looking at him.
"I'll have you know my mother taught me to cook when I was just a little boy," he said. "And I can use as many household spells as I want over the summer. Perks of being a Ministry baby."
Remus laughed, his face, for once, carefree. "You are a ministry baby, James. Literally," he added for Lily's benefit, in his dry voice.
"Remus," James began warningly.
"Oh, no," Lily interrupted. "Do tell."
Remus stopped smiling. "Do you know James's birthday?"
"Remus," James snapped. His fingers were gripping handle of his fork so hard his knuckles were white.
"No. When is it?"
Remus shut his mouth and took a pancake off the plate in the center of the table, avoiding Lily's eyes.
"When's your birthday, Potter?" Lily raised an eyebrow at James.
Potter dropped his fork with a clatter and got up, getting maple syrup from the counter. He slammed it down and glared. "They've all sucked. I don't want to talk about it, okay Evans?"
Lily held her hands up in the air. "Fine. Fine." She took the syrup and poured it on her pancakes, viciously cutting into them and placing them in her mouth.
She was going to find out why James didn't like his birthday. She was.
……
After they put the dishes in the sink, Remus told her funny stories about their years at Hogwarts while James ignored the both of them. While hearing about a strange incident involving McGonagall, all the Hogwarts house elves, and three cans of bright yellow paint, Lily considered the boy across from her.
She had never liked Remus Lupin. She had always found him dull, uninteresting, rather bland. She had always thought him to be second best to Potter and Black and unable to stand up to them. Now, she was being pleasantly surprised by his conversational skills.
"So, what's a girl who's dating a Malfoy doing at a Potter's house?"
Lily's smile became fixed. "Oh, you know. Just…nowhere else to go. Potter was being his normal helpful self so he said I could come."
"And you accepted," Remus finished amusedly, obviously not believing her. Points to him for intelligence.
Lily shifted. "I guess. I had nowhere else to go," she repeated
"Huh," Remus said again.
Lily rolled her eyes and got up, looking around for the loo.
"It's down that hall," Potter said, pointing. It was the second time that morning he had guessed what she was thinking or what she wanted, and it unsettled her. Lily nodded her thanks and went down the hall. The loo was pretty, just like the rest of the house, decorated with tiny delicate vines that almost seemed to grow-but that was impossible. The entire estate spoke of airiness and the country. It was rather refreshing after her city childhood.
She heard James and Remus talking just as she was about to go back into the room and she paused, instinctively slowing so she could listen in.
"So she's here because she had nowhere else to go? You think I'm going to buy that, James? You think Sirius is going to buy that when he comes? And do you think Malfoy's honestly not going to punch your bloody lights out for shagging her at the New Year's party when he sees her here? She's not even your friend. She doesn't even like you and she's just taking advantage of you."
Lily stiffened and Remus lost all the points he had gained with her earlier.
"Well it's not like you're keeping any secrets or anything," James said acidly. "You're telling her everything!"
"I didn't mean to mention your birthday, James. It just came up."
"Entirely and spiffingly believable, Remus. I'll deal with Sirius when he comes and we'll find something to tell Malfoy."
Remus sighed. "What's she doing here? Is she just using you? Because…even though I know in my mind that she's just taking advantage of you, there's something about her that makes her…she seems more innocent than she is. Lily felt his hesitation clear from the hallway. "It's hard not to talk to her."
"I suppose," James said. "Look, it doesn't matter why she's here."
"Oh, yes it does."
"Do you really want to know? She's here because she wants to learn how to shag Malfoy."
"That's the most believable thing you've said all day," Remus snapped. "And she just randomly chose you for this? And you don't care? You, who never-"
"Shut up," James hissed. "She just let it slip out to him and now he thinks she's slept with me-and that she's experienced for Merlin's sake. I'm considered that much of a whore, that sleeping with me means a girl's experienced!"
"Because you've always-"
"Shh," James hissed. Footsteps came closer to the door and he swung it open, catching sight of her. He shut the door behind himself and the only light was from the candles in the kitchen and bathroom. The hallway was narrow and he stood right in front of her, pressing her up against the wall.
"So you've been listening, Evans?"
"You would've," she shot back.
"True. But that doesn't make it right, Ev."
"Don't call me that," she said angrily.
"You know what I think, Evans?" he asked, his eyes widening in realization. "I think you don't like Remus and you're debating whether or not to ignore him now that he's insulted you. Not that you were supposed to hear him insulting you-"
"Fuck you, Potter-"
"-Let me tell you: you deserve it. You're a bitch."
His proximity was doing strange things to her. Her breathing was becoming heavier; she got like this when she was with Vince, sometimes.
"And I don't like you and I don't exactly know why I'm doing this for you-but it freaks me out and I'm actually rather scared. So if you could just-stop blowing up at me every three seconds I'd appreciate it, okay, Evans?"
She didn't answer. Her eyes fluttered shut and she gasped as he pushed her hair back from her face.
"Don't look like that, please," said James pleadingly, his tone such a change from his previous one that it shocked her out of her stupor.
"What do you mean?" she inquired.
"You look really…just stop…" His expression was weak-Lily knew he would cave at any second.
"Don't you think we should get started?" she asked, mimicking his words from the other night.
"Remus," he said through gritted teeth, "is in the other room."
"Yes, but…it's hard to…sometimes you just have to…"
He leaned in and kissed her softly, framing her face with his hands and pulling her even closer. Every inch of her was pressed between the wall and his body, and every inch of her was blazing. Her mouth met his in a feather light touch and she moaned quietly, her mind hazy with passion. She kissed him back lazily, running her hands through his messy hair and pressing her pelvis against his. He pulled away, gasping. "You move-way too fast," he said breathlessly.
"Am I that bad?"
"Well-no. But you need to enjoy this more. Think about yourself more than me. But it'll be him."
As if you think I'm not enjoying this, you smarmy bastard, Lily thought, looking up at him. "Don't confuse me," she told him, closing her eyes and pressing hard against him. He leaned down and hesitantly dropped a soft kiss on her pulse point, then another on her collarbone.
He tilted her face up and kissed her again, so sweetly she almost collapsed. She clung to him and kissed him back, unable to understand just what made James so damn irresistible.
"Okay," he gasped, pulling away reluctantly and ruining the moment with his businesslike manner. "That's it-you just need to slow down and then steadily build up and it'll work out fine."
She nodded, leaning entirely against the wall and watching him from under heavily lidded eyes. "You wanna go back in there?" she asked him breathlessly.
"Not particularly. I'd much rather stay out here and shag you, but my friend's sitting in the next room so that'd not only be kinky, it'd be embarrassing. So maybe we should stop and keep our hands off each other," he said rapidly, tapping his foot and looking from side to side.
"Okay," Lily agreed. "I'll go in first."
James nodded.
Lily walked back into the room and Remus looked up, giving her a once over. He smirked and did the same for James, who walked in behind her. "Friendly tip?" he asked.
"What?" Lily said warily, regarding him with narrowed eyes.
"Next time, bring a hairbrush with you before you snog-"
"Shut up," James said playfully, snatching an ornament off the tree and throwing it at his friend, who held up his hands to ward away the projectile and had to laugh.
……
http://www.livejournal.com/userinfo.bml?user=thegreatbreak
Join the community, read the intros, introduce yourself-remember to FLOCK!...
--Sarina
-->